Yeah, this is pretty weird. I just started typing and it kinda... went. The idea of this piece is that it's going to be all written like this, completely in the style that the main character talks. I already have a few quirks for her life written down in a little notebook that I got for my birthday, and in the next few weeks, I'll start posting more and more chapters, babbling on like this. The first chapter is just a prologue, eventually, I'll get a plot!


If forced to describe my life in one word, I would probably use quirky.

I don't know why it would matter so much to someone that I only use one word. I mean, I can understand why they wouldn't want me to ramble on, but why only one word? What if I wanted to say my life was 'really quirky'? Would that be unacceptable? What would they do to me, anyway, if I used more than one word?

Are they going to shoot me if I describe my life in two words? Or a word and a half? That seems a bit extreme. I don't understand why it would be so important to anybody that I only use one word.

Since I have one word that I could use, I guess I don't have to worry about being executed by a one-word-fanatic.

Unless they wanted me to use one word with fewer than four letters. Quirky has five. I could be walking around and risking my life, without even knowing it. All because the word 'quirky' has five letters.

Fortunately, I have a way to make quirky a four-letter word. You see, letters are symbols of communication. In the English language, we divide them into two groups, vowels and consonants. Maybe other languages have those, too. I know that languages using the same alphabet as we do have vowels and consonants the way we do, but I don't know about ones that have a different alphabet system.

Anyway! A letter is either a vowel or a consonant. And what is Y? Why it can be either one! Y. Why. No pun intended. See, the vowels are A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Y. Y is a vowel only sometimes, which means that the rest of the time, it's not a vowel. However, because a consonant is never a vowel, Y can't be a consonant. I assume that Y is a vowel when there are no other vowels in the word it's in, such as FLY. Quirky includes U and I, (Sorry) therefore it has vowels besides Y. So Y, in that case, is neither a vowel nor a consonant, and therefore is not a letter. Quirky has one imaginary letter and… five other letters.

Damn.


There. I just described my life in three hundred and seventy six words. Aren't you proud of me?

Actually, I didn't really describe my life. I used examples and my own personal way of talking to give you a sense of what my life is like. Scratch that. I didn't give any examples, and I described my life as quirky. One word. Six (not five) letters. It just happened to take me three hundred and seventy six words to say it.

You know what? If a one-word fanatic wants me to describe my life in less than four letters, I say, to hell with it. I'm sure there's at least one word in the above passage that has less than four letters. So there.