my mother drowns herself in the alcohol
she chokes on it
her lungs are slowly filling…
she passes out.

adrenaline is running so fast in the form of anger
through every fiber of her being
but her movement is slow
her eyes barely open
her hands barely move
((its almost like she isn't really breathing))
at all.

demons hold her hand
and place on her finger a rusted wedding ring
((its time to come home, darling))

no! let her go!
she's mine!
let me take her back!
there was not enough time
to let her know that I truly cared.

tick. tick. tick.

the demons held her wrists
the wedding was over.
mommy was gone…

this couldn't have happened
she was supposed to be saved
the demons only laughed
they encircled me shouting:

"you should have saved her!
it's your fault she's gone!
you know you could have stopped her!
the bottle is in your hands!"

and as I looked down
my fingers glided along the glass
and all of a sudden
it was against the wall

just like my mother
the bottle was now so