"God, Dexter, just get out of my room already."

"No. So what're you doing right now?"

"Writing a paper. Trying to write a paper, anyways."

"Interesting. Aren't you ever tired of doing homework? What happened to the carefree girl I used to know back in high school?"

"She was stabbed in the guts by college and was left to bleed all over the cold rug."

"Graphic."

"I know. And I'm about to graphic your ass if you don't scram."

"I'll scram once you tell me when we're going on that date that you promised me."

"How about never?"

"But you promised."

"That doesn't count."

"A promise's a promise, hon."

"Yeah, but you took advantage of me while I wasn't myself."

"I did no such thing."

"Yes, you did, you little bastard. It was during alpha sigma pi's party, and you kept feeding me that goddamn punch--"

"Which you were never obligated to take."

"Shut up! You said it was alcohol-free!"

"Is it my fault that I didn't know? I thought it wasn't spiked."

"Yeah, and I thought you were actually being decent that night. But instead, you twisted the situation around so you'd have the upper hand--"

"Hey, don't make me out to be the bad guy here. I have my morals, too."

"Apparently not enough."

"You hurt me, babe, you really do. Lovers aren't supposed to be like that."

"I'm not your lover, you sadistic freak."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"That's not what you said two nights ago..."

"How about you shut up before I rip your tongue out? I don't want to hear that ever again."

"You can't dennyyy it-!"

"Shut up!"

"You can't fighhhtttt it-!"

"I'm warning you, fag--"

"If by fag you mean Fine Asian Guy, then why yes, that I am."

"You're a double fag."

"Stop flattering me already and just give me a day."

"No."

"Aw, baby, you must be stressed. Here, let me come over there and give you a massage..."

"Touch me, and you die."

"Don't be like that--"

"Don't touch me!"

"Just let--shit!"

"I told you."

"Shit! You really hit me..."

"Go away, Dexter. You're not getting any tonight. Or tomorrow. Or ever again."

"You wound me."

"I know."

"I bet you liked it."

"Ugh."

"Groan of pleasure?"

"I'm not going to say it again. You keep running that mouth of yours, and you're gonna be limping out of here by the end of the night."

"Will you really do it?"

"Yes, I will. I'll swear on my grandmother's grave."

"...I'll just lie down a little bit more, then. Wait until you get a little... angrier so you can come here."

"What the fuck? Ew, God no! I didn't mean it like that. I meant—you know what? Why am I even justifying what I'm saying? Just get the hell out of my room."

"Are you really that busy?"

"Yes, yes I am!"

"Lies. I bet you don't want to see me."

"That, too!"

"Then why didn't you say that in the first place? Instead of lying and saying that you're busy all the time?"

"I wasn't when I said I was busy!"

"Yeah, right."

"You don't believe me? Look at my calendar! See? Booked all fucking week until next Saturday. I'm a fucking paper and project suitcase until then."

"Saturday it is, then!"

"Wait, wha—you fucker."

"I know."

"I hate you, and I'm not meeting you."

"Seven pm sharp, babe, seven."

"Fuck you in the ear."

"Only if you do it to me first."

"Nobody loves you."

"Except you, of course."

-

finis

-

A/N: I must really not want to write my paper. Oh, and that f-word joke? Yeah, I saw that one somewhere. Sorry if it offends?