Disclaimer: Rated for language and homosexual relationships. I own everything…. But, I do not own Converse, Honda's protégé, RENT, HSM, Inuyasha, Bic, or anything that I logically do not own. Do not sue me, I have no money I am a poor college kid…

AN: Things written in 'italics' are thoughts, and this is my first story so please read and review and I appreciate constructive criticism.


Chapter 1

I awaken to the annoying ring of my cell phone's alarm going off at a volume that was seriously unreasonable. I curse under my breath and open my green eyes. This was a mistake as the sun radiating through my window suddenly blinds me. "Fuck! Who opened those damn curtains?" I curse again to myself. All of a sudden another shrill ring echoes in my head and I remember my original task of finding the offending phone. I groggily look around my new bedroom to see where I put my phone the night before. Finally I zero in on it; I see that it is on my dresser across the room. "Why would I put it there?" I ask myself. "Oh yeah I was mad at Kyle and Josh last night for calling me a girl, and then my father called to say he wasn't coming home…again and I just threw it." I wonder if I can make it shut up without getting out of bed. I lie back down and grumble about early mornings and not wanting to start a new school. I pull a pillow over my head and sigh.

'I do not want to get up. I don't want to go to school, and I don't want to face the terrible twins who live to torment me just because they are older and bigger.'

With another sharp shrill ring there is a harsh banging on my door followed by two identical screams of "Get UP and turn that damn thing OFF!" As if on cue they are here again to bug me. I sigh and decide to get up before they come in and force me to get up. So, I roll over and try to untangle myself from the High school musical sheets on my bed. After a few minutes I manage to free myself and by this point my phone's alarm has silenced itself.

"Stupid fucking alarm" I grumble under my breath as I search my room for clothes that are halfway acceptable. After looking through my closet and dresser I settle on a simple pair of baggy dark blue jeans and a long sleeved green shirt that is at least two sizes too big for me. Grabbing up the clothes I chose I throw them over my shoulder while I grab a pair of boxers with Inuyasha on them and a white undershirt, and then make my way to the bathroom. I trip over the bottoms of my red plaid pajama pants, which also are too big for me. I hate hand-me-downs; I am a lot smaller than Kyle and Josh who are both 6'1. After waiting for quite sometime to get into the bathroom I realize that I either have time to eat breakfast or take a shower. I choose shower, I am not a big eater anyway. I quickly throw on the clothes I had picked out and pull my shoulder length reddish-brown hair into a ponytail with a rubber band fastened at the base of my neck. With that I look in my mirror and sigh. I hate the way I look, I am thin and scrawny, and on top of that I am SHORT, five-foot seven and barely 110 lbs fully clothed, at sixteen. I look like I belong in middle school not my junior year in high school. I also look like a girl which annoys the hell out of me. This is not because of my hair, which probably doesn't help, but I got my mother's looks, I look just like her. I miss her so much. She was so beautiful. Examining myself again in the mirror, I roll my eyes.

'I am so going to get my ass kicked again.'

I am shaken from my self-loathing thoughts by my brother Josh sticking his head in my room.

'Pain in the ass twin one.'

"Get your ass downstairs now Ciaran! Or we'll leave you here and you'll have to walk the 10 miles to school!" Josh shrieks. I nod and shuffle my feet, looking at my shoes, I decided on a pair of pink converse sneakers that I bought during the summer before we moved to this hellhole. I grin, I love my shoes they are awesome but also my brothers hate them.

"Jesus Ciaran you are not wearing those!" Kyle growls as he makes a face at me showing me his utter hate for my lovely pink shoes. I nod my head a little and grin defiantly at them, as I grab my backpack from my bed and my pink cell phone from the dresser, yes I like pink. Once I am done gathering my things I head out my door and to the staircase. I let out a slightly pained but very frustrated cry from being shoved down the stairs (literally) by my brothers as they make cracks about my shoes and how girly I am, with these comments they yank at my hair. I sigh and fix said hair after they rip the rubber band from it, which hurt like hell mind you, with a malicious grin plastered to their identical faces. After they torture me for another few minutes while they gather their belongings we manage to get in their car, with me in the back squished between and half sitting on their backpacks, trash, and the speakers they added to their Honda Protégé. I cover my ears for the whole trip to school trying to not be deafened by their obnoxious music, if you can call it that, which they played at an ungodly volume.


Standing outside the large brick building, that was supposed to be painted white but has now faded to a dirty gray color, I close my eyes and sigh deeply trying to calm myself down. I nervously run a hand through my hair, which never made it back into a pony tail since the twins wouldn't give me back the rubber band.

"It's now or never," I sigh as I slowly walk towards the school pulling my mp3 player from my bag and putting the headphones on. I know they make me look like I am wearing a headband, but right now I don't care I need music and my good headphones went missing after we moved. I shove my mp3 player into my pocket. My fingers brush against my lighter, "Damn it," I mutter realizing I didn't get to have a cigarette before coming here. I sigh and shove both hands deep into my pockets and slowly start to make my way to the office. I walk down the maze of halls looking at the school map that the office gave me along with my class schedule; English, Algebra, PE, Lunch, Free Period, Social Studies, and Chemistry.

'Fun' I think as I wonder where my locker is.

I watch the numbers on the lockers as I walk. I stop in front of locker number 154. I flip through the papers that the office gave me looking for the scrap piece of paper that they wrote the locker combination on for me. When I find the paper I was looking for and try the combination to no avail, after two more tries I finally get the accursed locker to open. I dig through my bag and pull out notebooks and start to shove them into the locker. I pull out a couple printed pictures from HSM, RENT, and HAIRSPRAY, as well as some other random pictures of people that I find amazing. I carefully tape these pictures to the inside of my locker. For a finishing touch I add a magnetic mirror to the door of my locker just under the picture of Lucas Grabeel.

'He is so hot.'

I smile at my locker and wonder how my family doesn't know that I am gay after all my room is decorated much the same way, not that my family really pays any attention to me. I don't hide the fact that I am gay, not really, but I don't openly flaunt it either. I am listening to the RENT soundtrack; I have a thing for musicals if you haven't noticed, as I walk down the hall towards where my first class is supposed to be. I am carefully sidestepping the other students as well as their bags that litter the hall. I am witness to friends greeting each other after being apart for the summer and to lovers' quick make out sessions before the bell. I can't bring myself to meet eyes with any of these people. So I am currently looking down and ignoring the world, as I let myself be engrossed by Angel's voice singing Today 4 U, when I run into something or should I say someone, which sends me sprawling to the floor and all of my stuff to go scattering. I hear a grunt as whoever I hit seems to have hit the locker he/she was leaning against. From the force of the hit I would bet on it being a guy and not a small guy like me. There is laughing up and down the hallway at my expense. But, I hear faint giggling coming from near by, which causes me to blush out of embarrassment. Right after the giggling starts a faint and muffled laugh, like someone covering his or her mouth, begins as well.

"Shut up" I hear a deep voice hush at the people nearby who were enjoying my humiliation way too much. The giggling and muffled laughs fade. Cursing under my breath I look up through my bangs that fell over my eyes, and meet the most gorgeous hazel eyes that are staring down at me. I look quickly back to the ground hoping to hide the faint blush I feel starting to stain my cheeks again.

"Sorry," I mutter and move to stand up, but before I even get a chance to try, a hand reaches down and I look at it like it is going to bite me.

"It was my fault, let me help you up." The deep voice, which could only belong to a god, calmly states, and as if reading my mind he adds "and I won't bite… I promise… well at least not until I know you better anyway." With that I look up sharply knowing my face is bright red and so are the tips of my ears, at this point. Lucky for me most of my face and ears are covered in my mop of hair that lost any resemblance of order after my fiasco of a morning.

"Umm…. Thank you" I mumble as I take his hand letting him help me stand up. His hand is warm and soft but slightly callused and he lets it linger longer than necessary. So before I completely melt, I pull mine back and kneel to pick up my belongings and headphones, which scattered when I hit the tile. I gather my belongings and throw my headphones around my neck letting the faint sound of Marc and Joanne's voices singing The Tango Maureen waft from them. When I stand up again I notice that he is still there smiling at me and his friends are gone.

"Hey, you must be new here." He states more than asks. I nod starting to feel like an idiot.

"Yeah this is my first day." I say and he nods knowingly.

"What grade are you in?" he asks in what seems like a genuinely curious tone.

"Umm…" I run a hand through my hair uneasily while staring at this guy. "Eleventh," I say hesitantly.

"Wow same as me guess I'll get to see you around more than I would of thought." He says casually as if talking to someone he actually would want to see more often. I raise an eyebrow at him but seeing as I am still looking at him trough my hair I doubt he even notices. "Hmm. nice shoes" he says, seemingly out of no where, as he looks at my pink shoes. The shoes that I love so much but am currently wishing I hadn't chosen to wear my first day at a new school. They just scream that I am gay I mean what straight boy will wear pink converses.

'He is so going to kick my ass' I think nervously.

Again he seems to read my mind or my nervousness, "no seriously I like them and don't worry I'm not trying to pick on you about them I think they are awesome." I blink. He surveys my shoes and I am assuming the rest of my oversized wardrobe that makes me look younger and smaller than I already am. I take this time to survey him, he is tall, well everyone is tall compared to me, at least 6'0 with short spiked dirty blonde hair, and well fitting clothes and form fitting tight pants. I blush a deeper red when I realize that I had been starting at him. At this point the bell rings out signaling for us to get to class. I look at my map again quickly making sure I am still going in the right direction. "Do you need help finding…?" I hear him say but I take off as fast as possible needing to get away from him before I make more of a fool of myself than I already have.

'Great Ciaran you look like an idiot.'

I walk into my first class English, great I hate English. However, I love to read, but only things that I choose to read, usually scripts, what? I love drama. I pull my headphones from around my neck and turn off my music, shoving it into my bag. I pull out a notebook and pencil and flip to the first clean page I come to, this happens to be around the middle of the notebook. Without friends and being in a new place that I know nothing about I tend to spend a lot of time drawing, writing plays or poetry, or just jotting my thoughts down on paper. I am doodling in my notebook waiting for class to start when a voice behind me makes me jump.

"Nice sketch, you're good." The same voice from before. I look at him; the same smile still plastered to his heavenly face. I shake my head.

"No I'm not but…. Thanks." I barely manage to whisper.

He smiles at me in a reassuring manner, "Yes you are… oh by the way you dropped this," he says as he holds out a lighter, it is a lighter with pink tribal designs and flick my bic on it. I gulp and touch my pants pocket hoping that maybe, just maybe, it really isn't my lighter, no such luck.

"Umm... thanks." I say meekly as I go to take it from his hand.

He closes his hand around it and grins "you know playing with fire is dangerous you might get burned." I sigh and pull my hand back with a slightly confused look on my face.

"So is smoking but that doesn't stop me." I reply a little more sarcastically and forcefully then I have been speaking to him. Thinking of my lighter makes me think of my cigarettes, and again I realize I never got to have one before school and this day isn't helping my need for one.

His grin only widens at my sarcastic remark "Good point" he replies smoothly. "So it does seem that I will get to see you more often than I thought?" He asks coyly as he rolls my lighter around in his hand.

"It would seem so," I reply rather calmly as I shove my hair, that is suddenly annoying the hell out of me, out of my face. Looking up at him my green eyes meet his hazel ones. My usual lack of confidence being temporarily shoved aside in my quest to retrieve my lighter, my friend, and my ally in slowly killing myself. His grin grows even larger if that is possible, I am assuming this is because I am no longer mumbling and actually looking at him instead of hiding behind my mask of hair. He is enjoying this way too much. In truth I am enjoying it a little as well and allow a small smirk to appear on my lips. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I ask with a rather playful tone. Just as his smile grows into a smirk and he leans in slightly to reply but never gets a chance.

"Oh My GOD" There is a high pitch scream of joy that echoes from the doorway. I jump and look up to see a girl with dark brown hair that hangs past her shoulders in a pig tails bounce towards my desk. She looks vaguely familiar but I can't tell where I would have seen her before seeing as I am new and only this handsome boy behind me has spoken to me. I blink and lower my head looking at her through my hair and turning my head back to my desk but continue to watch her from the corner of my eye. The boy frowns slightly at losing my confidence and quick-witted sarcasm that I started to use with him. She skips towards my desk but ends up making a beeline for the boy behind me….

'I would love him to be behind me'

I muse in my head and then blush again and shake my head trying to clear my mind of those thoughts

'Don't think like that Ciaran he has to be straight and that is his girlfriend. Thoughts like those will get your ass kicked… again. Don't you remember your last school? Yes, I remember. I remember getting my ass kicked everyday because people thought I was gay and was looking at them in a (queer) way. None of them knew for sure I was gay but once the first person made their assumptions known about the drama crazed girly boy, the whole school believed it, and either helped in beating me to a pulp or ignored that I was getting beaten into a pulp. The few friends I had had instantly left my side in fear of being tormented too and joined in the mocking of me'

I run a hand through my hair, pulling roughly at it, dragging myself out of the past and back into the classroom. He grins mischievously at the bouncing girl and tosses my lighter onto my notebook while he dramatically jumps to his feet and throws his arms out to her "AVA MY LOVE!" He cries out and surprisingly only gets a few looks from other kids in the class.

'They must do this often.'

"ADAM I missed you SO much!" I hear the girl squeal as she launches herself into his arms giving him a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Yep definitely his girlfriend" I quietly mutter to myself as I stare at my notebook.

"Ava my dear, it has only been ten minutes," I hear the boy now known as Adam reply with a slight laugh yet still much calmer than before to the girl now known as Ava. At this point I decide to tune them out and go back to drawing in my notebook, or in reality zoning out and musing to myself about what a waste that all the cute guys are straight. I am however rudely jostled from my drawing by Adam clasping a hand on my shoulder and telling Ava that I am the new guy and to check out my shoes. At this I blink, look at his hand, and then look at them with a blank look, yet my eyes show utter confusion.

'Why are they talking about … me?'

I admit I am terribly shy but right now I am just plainly confused. "Hi! I'm Ava Handson! And yes that is Handson not HANDSOME, Call me Handsome and I will castrate you." She says the last part with such seriousness that I gulp and my eyes widen in fear as my face pales slightly. Smirking with satisfaction at my response she continues "Awesome shoes, I love pink! So does Adam… Isn't that right love?" She grins at him and continues again not giving him a chance to reply "You must have really caught Adam's eye if he is already sitting by you and talking to you as animatedly as he was when I walked in."

'She walked in? ... I could have sworn she bounced in.'

I grin slightly at the thought before I notice that she is looking down at my desk towards my notebook and my hand flies to it covering the lighter that I forgot was laying there still. Still looking at her through my bangs… my hair is my shield from the world and that is why I refuse to cut it, I see that she frowns slightly at the lighter. I am assuming that is why she frowns anyway but her smile is soon returned with more enthusiasm than before "You are an awesome artist… what is your name? And just how old are you?" She smiles sweetly with this comment and I blush faintly again.

'Why the hell am I blushing so damn much and why am I blushing at a girl? Oh right there is a sex god sitting behind me. Damn it did this girl just make a fucking crack about my size?'

She just giggles. Shoving my hair out of my face I reply with the same sarcasm I used earlier with Adam "I'm Ciaran and I am… sixteen."

"Wow you are cute… isn't he just the cutest Adam?!" She squeals out.

I raise an eyebrow and blush, "Thank you…Ava is it… but I am far from cute and far from a good artist." She smacks me softly on the arm and Adam's smile shrinks into a slight frown and his brows furrow for a second at my derogatory comment towards myself.

"Oh yes you are, Adam tell him he is cute." She demands of the other boy. I blush again and rub my arm where she hit me. Adam however glares at Ava and smacks her upside the head. At this act of violence she mocks being hurt, "Adam how dare you strike me, you inconsiderate…" He smacks her upside the head again all signs of his former smile erased from his face and he gives her a glare daring her to open her mouth again. She closes her mouth and rubs the side of her head as she leans against the desk next to mine, her smile being replaced with a scowl. Adam takes a deep calming breath and lets it out as he shakes his shoulders and his smile returns to his face before facing me again.

"Ciaran is it? I'm sorry I never introduced myself, I'm Adam." I give a faint smile to him and nervously flick my lighter, which mind you is still on my desk, under my hand, and laying on my notebook. Ava looks at me with a raised brow and lays a hand over mine and shakes her head slowly. My gaze goes down instantly to the hand that is touching me and I realize it is covering my lighter.

'Smooth move dumb ass you are going to get kicked out the first day for playing with a lighter in class.'

"Nice to meet you both" I quietly respond as I shove the lighter into my jeans pocket and then run my hand through my hair again letting it fall back to its typical place in front of my eyes. I am suddenly rather embarrassed when I realize where I recognized Ava from… she was the one giggling when I fell this morning after running into Adam. Either she doesn't know it was me or she doesn't bring it up, for which I am very thankful. Ava just smiles and sits in the desk next to mine while Adam remains behind me.

"You seem nice albeit a little jumpy and nervous but nice… not at all Adam's type" Ava states as she just grins at Adam with what could only be malaise for hitting her earlier. When I glance back at him I see he is blushing now.

"Shut it Ava," he growls at her the smile I have fallen in love with replaced once again by a scowl. I gulp and look back at my desk fast enough I get a head rush. I groan slightly and put my head in my hands with my elbows resting on my desk.

'Wait …what? Not his type… does she mean he is… No way…well it would explain his taste for my shoes and all but even if he is he wouldn't ever be interested in a pathetic excuse for a boy as I am… he could have anyone he wanted.'

I stare at my notebook trying to regain some dignity and remove the blush that has seemed to be permanently fixed to my face since I met Adam and Ava. I do not want to get into the middle of their fight but I have somehow become the main focus. I haven't even been in this school for an hour and already I have two people fighting… over me... and not in that way either. I am lost in my thoughts when the teacher walks in and begins class. I don't even notice her in the front of the room when she takes roll, but when my name comes around.

"Ciaran Ryans."

I am forced back into reality when a hand rests on my shoulder and gently shakes. "Huh what" I mutter looking at the hand with wide scared eyes.

"Ciaran Ryans" I hear the teacher say this time.

"Uh here" I say raising my hand before letting it drop back onto my desk. When I realize the hand is still resting on my shoulder I look at who it belongs to, Adam.

He leans forward to whisper in my ear, his breath tickling the sensitive skin and my eyes drift closed at the nearness of him. "Mrs. Mathews is a pretty awesome teacher being the drama teacher too." He says and I can hear the grin in his voice as he leans slightly closer still, his lips almost touching my ear "but if you don't pay attention she will not hesitate to give you a detention… or worse make you recite poetry to the whole class." My eyes snap open and I gulp. I turn to stare horrified at Adam. He grins and I realize that he never sat back so I am suddenly inches from his face. I jump. He just grins at me and points to the front of the room. So, I let my gaze follow his finger and settle on the teacher in the front of the class. He chuckles and sits back in his seat and Ava giggles. I am not sure if I like them talking to me or not.

'So far all their help has brought me was embarrassment.'

After what feels like forever the bell finally rings signaling class change and I stand up gathering my belongings and shoving them haphazardly into my bag. I pull my headphones and mp3 player out of the bag and once again drape the headphones around my neck turning on the music to let phantom of the opera escape from the headphones. As I make my way as quickly as possible to the door, I am stopped by Ava who stands maybe a foot away from me and around an inch taller than me. She fixes me with a look that I am not sure the meaning of. I gulp and take a step back from the girl trying to put some distance between us. Seriously girls freak me out and if I weren't gay already the look she is giving me would make me gay. She just steps forward to match my backward retreat. "Umm" I struggle to find something to say.

She just smiles at me "When do you have lunch?" She asks innocently enough.

"Fourth… period" I reply hesitantly not so much afraid as confused and worried at to where this conversation is going.

"Awesome us too, Join us for lunch today." This was given as a statement… not a request, not an offer, but an order. I run a hand through my hair pushing it out of my face again, mentally cursing my lack of hair tie suddenly, and look at this crazy girl in front of me eyebrow raised.

"Excuse me? What? Why?" I ask my voice not nearly as shaky as it had been previously in the day.

'Who does this chick think she is?'

I have never taken well to being told what to do probably why my brothers beat me up on a regular basis. "Because silly you don't have anyone else to sit with and as I said before you seem nice and I would love to be your friend." She draws out the word love and giggles.

'Is this girl hitting on me?'

I twitch at the thought. "Umm thanks, but what makes you say that I have no one to sit with." I reply forgetting that I am completely new to this school and it is only first period so I have had no time to make friends other than these two scary people. Damn it she is right though it is either them or finding my brothers.

'Like that would ever happen'

Or I could just sit by myself like at my last school, but I'll be damned if I will let some girl know that. She gives me a look that I swear only girls can give, not quite a smile and not quite a scowl, and I take a few steps back again completely terrified. She again follows my steps keeping the distance to me rather close. I run into something again and look up to see Adam again.

'Why do I keep running into him?'

I squeak an apology and make to move away but his hand stops me as it lands on my shoulder, "Ava down girl! What is going on over here?" He asks as he absently rubs my shoulder causing me to blush at the thoughts of what his hand could rub.

'Damn it hormones'

What can I say I am a sixteen year old boy? Taking in my blush he grins and rubs my shoulder a little harder causing me to close my eyes for a second.

'Wait what?'

I blink and look at him then at Ava grinning like the Cheshire cat. I blink and look to the ground, letting the majority of my hair fall over my features, but I don't pull out of his grasp. If they didn't know I was gay before they do now. "Ava dear can't you see you're scaring the poor boy."

I blink and actually look offended as I turn to look at him "I am not afraid of a girl…" They both give me a skeptical look before I continue "okay so maybe I am… but you don't have to announce it to the whole school!" I growl at him and shake my head as I push past Ava and walk into the hall.

'This day is going to be hell'

Just as that thought runs through my mind someone else runs full tilt into me causing me to go sprawling to the floor once again.