Chapter 1: Being Holden

When you´re named after someone, you're conditioned for life. Probably not in a conscious way, but a name is still something that pattern who you are and who you are going to become.

A name is not 'just a name'. 'That which we call a rose, by any other word would smell as sweet'… Yeah, I don´t think so; a name is part of thee. If my name was something like Charlie or Sebastian or even Joseph, I wouldn´t be writing this.

Take for example my best friend, Holiday Scarlett Bennett. She's named after the girl in 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' and the main character of 'Gone with the wind'. Maybe if she wasn´t, she wouldn´t be petit with long, perfectly curled blonde hair, and shiny big green eyes.

I remembered one time, when we were both little, when she announced that she was going to changed her middle name for Yazmin. She had read 'Gone with the wind' and decided that she hated Scarlett O'Hara.

The worst things of all is that her favorite book is 'Breakfast at Tiffany's', as weird as it sound. And because of that, there are some things that you can't know if they belong to her inherently, or she adopted it because of her name.

Therefore, a name changed and conditioned everything that you are.

Still, don´t believed that I hate my name, no. 'Belonging to a man. O, be some other name'… I never thought about the possibility of changed my name. As bad as it is, is mine. I am who I am, and there's no way to change that.

You are wondering what my name is. I know.

Well, I tell you. Is Holden.

Yes, as the main character in 'The catcher in the rye'.

But that's not all, no.

My name is not just Holden. My full name is Holden Allie Caulfield.

Often, when I grow up, I thought that my parents had serious issues inside their heads. I´m sure that, if they could, they would had add a D.B. to my name. They couldn't thank god, but they named me Allie in exchange.

My parents have both a twisted sense of humor. I think that maybe is because they're named Claire and Peter, two dull names, if you ask me. I hold that this is the reason of the weird names in my family. My older brother is name Jerome David Caulfield, my little brother, Seymour Ian, and his twin, Phoebe Jane.

See? Twisted sense of humor.

While I growth, my name was always like a shadow over me. The childs in the kindergarten didn´t knew the real Holden, but the found the name weird, so they didn´t play with me and I was often bullied by some boys. Kids can be really cruel.

Holly was the only one that approached me. Holiday, that is. She was a strong kid, a very violent, too. She alone fights the bullies that had grabbed my toy. I still remembered that truck, a red truck.

It wasn't easy being Holden Caulfield.

That was when we become friends. Very good friends. We were together all trough elementary school, and all trough high school. We even decided for the same university. She wanted to be a forensic (just as she wanted to be a fashion designer, and an archeologist, and an actress and a lot more things) and I was decided to be an architect.

I need to tell you a few things about Holly before I go on. She's a great girl, and I love her, but she can be quite the intimidating little girl. She's independent, is really impulsive, is a little violent, can get in a fight with Mike Tyson if she think that he is either messing with the people she cared or insulting her or annoying someone smaller, and she is afraid of commitment. You can't possible imagine the number of time I had to retained her for fighting someone that could easily crushed her tiny bones to ashes. Holly never realized when is good to keep her mouth closed, and is always blunt.

But all she does is because she loves you. She can't be mean, is not in her genes.

Now, go on.

So, we were accepted to the same university. I went to the residences, and she rent a small department near by with one of her girlfriends. And we both started together.

We had some classes together, and we kept seeing us in the free time.

In the middle of our first year, I rented a house with two friends, but we ended up being eight. To lower the rent, of course. Thank god the house was big enough for all of us, and we even had some empty rooms. Holly lived near us, but we the amount of classes she was taking and her sports activities, we hardly saw each other.

Until one day, at the evening.

I was in the little garden in the front of the house, sitting with a book in my hands, when I saw her. She had her long hair loose, and dressed with a white and blue plaid skirt and a blue shirt, with a pair of white converse.

She was looking frantically around her, as if she was looking for someone. When our eyes met, I got up instantly.

She was crying.


My second story here so far. I hope you liked it.

I just re-read The catcher in the Rye and this idea pop up in my mind.

It´s dedicated to my beloved NSW. I LOVE YOU GIRL.

Review me, please. Either if you liked it or you hated it.

Love and virtual cookies for all

MAG