"Hey," I said, working not to sound eager.
"Oh, hi Kria," Chris said distractedly. "Nice of you to wait up for me."
"Oh, I wasn't tired," I said, stifling a yawn.
"I kind of have something to talk to you about..." Chris trailed off. I was quite curious. What could he want to talk to me about?
"Um, what?" I asked, beginning grow a bit uneasy. Was something wrong?
"Well, I've been thinking...do you remember Cee?" he asked hesitantly.
"Oh yeah, that tall, dark haired girl who came to all my birthday parties when I was younger?" I questioned.
"Yeah, her," Chris confirmed. Then he pointedly looked at the wall.
"Well, what about her? You guys getting married or something?" I asked sarcastically. A smile flickered across Chris' face. I lived for making him smile or laugh. But his face grew serious again quickly.
"Um, I think you're going to go live with her for a while. I hope that's okay."
I think my mouth dropped open. "Why?" is all I could say.
"Well, I've been very busy lately..."
I couldn't comprehend. He was giving me away? He liked Eli more than me? He...he didn't love me at all? He wanted to be rid of me... I was so hurt, so mad at Chris, at the world. Why is it always me? Does God hate me? My eyes filled with tears and my face twisted with anger. I looked down at my feet for a minute, waiting for the tears to clear.
Chris said uncertainly, "She says she'd love to have you, she said she could try and...help you..."
I looked up at him, rage on my face. "I don't need help!" I shouted fiercely. He flinched a bit, like he thought I might hit him. I nearly did, I was so furious.
But then it melted away and I just felt helpless. Did Chris really think I could hit him? Sure, I got into fights a lot, but I couldn't hurt him. I loved him...didn't he know that? I stared at him, feeling like my soul had been killed.
"I, uh, I just thought it'd be a good change of pace for you for a while. I don't seem to be doing a good job as parental type. You fight with everyone, you hate your sister... Besides, I'm hardly ever home anymore. You'd like it better there. You'd make friends."
I smirked bitterly when he said that. I felt defeated. "Fine, whatever," I muttered. "It doesn't make a difference to me where I live. I hate this place anyway."
I stomped off to my room, looking back at him and saying, "I'll pack my stuff and you can take me there tomorrow." He looked sad, maybe hurt. I wanted to run to him and hug him, apologize and promise to be good from now on and beg him to let me stay.
Instead I gave him my practiced I-couldn't-care-less-about-you look and went into my room, slamming the door. I broke down into a fit of quiet tears, but then I stopped and just looked at the ceiling. Nobody would hurt me anymore. I planned not to care about anyone from now on. I felt calm hatred for Chris, Eli, Cee, and the rest of the world. I fell into a dreamless, feelingless sleep.