Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl who, long ago, felt like she lived in a castle and she was a princess. Then reality plopped into her lap, and though she was now much wiser, she still could not be stopped from falling for the ever alluring…marketing scam. She was conned into wearing a suffocating costume all day and was stuck with the job for the rest of her life. Her Prince Charming realized he wanted a girl with a real career. She never lived happily ever after.

The E—wait a second. That is so not the end of this story.

Let's start this over, shall we?

How do these all start? Oh, yes:

Once upon a time...

Note to self: Don't believe everything you read. Especially things you find on HELP: WANTED posters with a Disney insignia. Especially not those.

Why, you ask? Because, this my friends, is not the Happiest Place on Earth. I don't care about what Disney says on their snow globes. Or what the World Series winners say, that Disneyland is the best place to celebrate—it's all a bunch of blasphemous deception.

Lies, all lies.

This so-called Happiest Place on Earth actually involves bickering siblings, torturous hour-long waits in lines for a ride that lasts no longer than five minutes, exhausted parents, and suffocating and unbelievably hot fur costumes.

Oh, by the way, have I mentioned that is very much like where I am right now?

But, oh no, but I'm not in any old fur ensemble. I'm not just any sweating college student struggling to keep a promise; I'm the in the King— well, Queen, considering my gender—of them all. The Head Honcho, the Big Boss—hell, I'm practically dying in the one who started it all. You see folks: I'm not about to collapse of heat exhaustion dressed as some underdog like Donald or Goofy. I was destined to be a star. I, good people of the world, am Mickey Mouse.

Well, one of them that is. Of course, there can't be just one Mickey; there's a Mickey for breakfast shows to scare you out of your mind while you're munching on your prepaid continental breakfast. It's really creepy, actually; I witnessed a small five year old child nearly piss himself out of fear when the breakfast shift Mickey loomed over him at his table, expecting him to just get up from his yummy meal for a hug.

Then, there's the easiest Mickey for the float ride. And finally, there's me; that third and final Mickey, who resides in "Toon Town" and scorches under the blazing, unforgiving Southern California sun.

And yup, you guessed it. That last, poor unlucky Mickey is me.

I know what you're wondering: What's an intelligent, not gorgeous-but-still-relatively-attractive-enough-to-land-an-amazing-boyfriend college student at UCLA doing suffering in a giant mouse costume (forgetting the fact that she desperately needs the money). Because this is so not worth it.

Well, if you can figure out the answer, please, do let me know.

A/N: Ahh! I'm so excited to finally be uploading this. (sorry for the uber long author's note, in advance) I've been working on it since at least September, so I've already got a lot written. So, don't expect this story to fall off the face of the earth, like the rest of my stories have. Keep in mind, this is only a teaser prologue. I'll update again with the first chapter soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own Disneyland. Or any of their characters. Or anything I mention that is normally copyrighted. But, I'm lazy, so I won't be doing this every chapter, just thought I'd get it out there now. And, oh, I love Disney(land), so it won't be lol keel disneyland i h8 it all the time.

Also, know I'm not one of those writers who only updates when they get a certain number of reviews. I love my story too much to let it go that quickly, because I know it's worth getting out there. So, anyway, I will still update if you don't review.

But...I will update sooner if you do. :)

Special thanks to my beta, Tasha Lee, for going over the prologue and first chapter, and catching a bunch of mistakes I didn't see. (I know someone else was interested in beta'ing, but...I sort of lost your pen name. Sorry.)

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