i miss your voice,
softly singing in the background
amidst the sound of the radio,
the television, and the slight
buzz of the computer monitor.

you defied everything
your mother said about you
but you reminded me to hide
the necklace that i wore just
in case your mother saw it.

i love(d) the way
you adored the color of your eyes.
your eyes are blue and shone
like the morning sky. it was as
if God had painted your eyes
to match the color of the sky.

we wore black
to defy the world and everyone
around us but of course, it didn't
work out and we couldn't pass
to be "gothic." but we laughed
anyways at our sad attempt.

i ble(e)d for you
and it took me too long to realize
that bleeding wasn't worth it but
it doesn't mean that the feeling
has all but disappeared because
the scars are constant reminders.

i can't escape the way
this makes me feel and i know
that this defines me as a person.
i carry my past across my wrists
and forearms as healed scars that
protrude from skin in two colors.