With Time

Dear Jake,

My life is falling apart. I'm sure you've heard this from numerous people, with different horrible situations. Death, divorce, stress at work, fighting with family, fighting with friends. We've all been there, at some point. We've all had to deal with something we didn't want to, but sometimes, when you're in situations like mine, you have no choice but to watch your life slowly crumble before you, and not even bother to grab some glue and try to stick it all back together.

You're leaving me.

That's not even the worst part.

You're leaving me for her.

You've ruined me, you know? I'll never be able to trust you again, and you were my best fucking friend, and the love of my life. "I'll never hurt you, not ever, Mason." That's what you said to me, and I had no doubt that you were telling the truth, because I loved you. I still love you.

I love you.

Even after watching you pack all your bags, take your things, and pick up my dog, with the excuse of, "You'll never be able to take care of her alone."

Alone. It hit me then. I'd cried. I'd thrown things. You were leaving. You were leaving, when just the night before we'd lain in bed, and you'd held me in your arms, whispering in my ear and making my heart beat fast against my ribcage. You kissed me, told me you loved me. You lied to me. Liar. Stupid, two-timing, backstabbing, sister-fucking, LIAR.

She's eleven years younger then you, and she'll fuck anything with a dick, and I know she's going to hurt you one day. She's going to rip your heart out of your chest, throw it on the ground and SPIT on it.

Is it bad that I can't wait for that day to come?

I'm bitter.

You're an asshole.

I love you.

You lied.

I miss you…

Even after all of this. I miss you.

I want you to be here with me.

You're not, though, and you won't be again.

Is it sad that I'm planning on skipping all my family's get-togethers because I know she'll bring you? I'm sure it is. I may show up though, just so I can see the death glares and forced smiles my parents and family give the two of you.


She's my sister, Jake.

I didn't think she was capable of killing me, but hell, I guess she is, because I'm dying.


There's a gaping hole in my chest where my heart used to be.

Where is it?

You're holding it hostage and laughing at it with my sister.


I love you.

I won't how many times I've said that now. I shouldn't love you. I shouldn't still have to hold my breath every time you walk into a room, and hope to God you notice me… hope to God you look at me, smile at me, love me.


You used to love me.

I know you did.

You loved me.

Numerous people have told me, that with time you'll eventually fade from my mind, but I doubt that. Our room… sorry, MY room is completely decorated in pictures of us, and I keep my very favorite one hidden under the pillow, so when I feel lonely I can pull it out and look at it.

It's the one of us at Christmas with my family. I was in your arms and you were smiling as you whispered something against my ear and FLASH. A picture. Haha… it's almost ironic how little Miss bitch sister took that picture.

Well, I'd love to stick around and watch you get your heart broken, and watch little Miss Bitch die of her numerous STDs… but I've got somewhere I need to be.

I love you.

I really do.

I don't care if you don't love me.

I don't care if you don't think I love you.

As long as I know I do, and everyone else knows I do.

Because I do.

They're not gonna love you much anymore, after they read this, I'm sure. I mean… because when you read this, I'm already going to be long gone. I'll be gambling with the devil by the time this damned letter is found, because no one comes to visit me much anymore.

I never had any friends.

Well. I had YOUR friends… and I had you.

Well. I guess this is goodbye forever, baby.

Long gone,