This was (basically) a real conversation between a friend and me a couple weeks ago. He was asking for my help online in this (ahem) department of his newfound relationship with a friend of mine (apparently I am the "sexpert" amongst my friends. -.-' Gee, thanks for the implication, guys. Sheesh.). I don't have the exact convo posted because I didn't think about it, but here's a part that I do remember that he suggested I should put into one of my stories. However, I have no idea what story I would put this in, let alone how I would fit it into said story, so I'll just post it as this…erm…thing. d:P Um…enjoy? dxD
There is a fine line between love and lust. Of love and passion. One that is not easily distinguishable in the mist…
But who's to say that they cannot coincide?
I am not one here to argue semantics and say that they are the same thing, because they aren't. You can easily lust for someone yet never love him or her, and you can just as easily love someone and yet never feel that passion that drives so many of us wild.
Okay. Now for the reality check.
How do you get that one you love to really feel loved in those secret hours of passion? How do you make her know in those times when you both are one that she means so much to you? That she's not just some random screw in the middle of the night?
Here's one way. This will be somewhat vague; I won't tell you every detail, because, like everything else, to each his own. How you interpret this information I give you and how she reacts to it can and will be very different from what I tell you if I were to tell you every tiny detail and how she should react to it. So…interpret it however you choose. But before I go any further, make sure this isn't a quickie; if it is, then the use of any of this information is pointless. One thing to keep in mind here is time: don't rush anything. Make sure you have the time to do whatever it is you want/need to do. Again, do not rush any of this. I cannot emphasize that enough. Okay, anyways…
If she's anything like me...
Before you do so much as kiss her, when you're looking into her eyes, draw close to her. Slowly. You know how we women seem to like that. Gently cup her cheek in your hand, and tilt her face up. Greet her lips with yours, your lips lightly parted. Your hands are to only pull her closer to you at first. Bring her body close to yours, press her against you gently. Then, allow your hands to explore her body. Not anywhere that is forbidden quite yet; just around her waist and hips. Use a gentle but firm grip. It gives the illusion that you can't resist her.
First, keep the kisses just as they are: kisses. Lips slightly (emphasis on slightly) parted, not too forceful, but not too soft either. Then, allow your tongue to slip past both of your lips, and let it explore her mouth and dance with hers.
One point when using your tongue: do not slobber all over her, okay? Jeez, I dunno how some guys can think that being so sloppy with their tongues is sexy. No; when you use your tongue, use it…pointedly, for lack of a better term. Use the very tip of it. If your tongue is in her mouth and doing everything but playing with hers, then use the tip (if you two are having a battle of the tongues, then by all means, go all out). If you're, say, tracing her collarbone, then use the tip. Whatever you're doing with it (besides the moment mentioned before), use the tip of your tongue. It's a lot more satisfactory, trust me.
Okay, back to kissing. First, do what I told you to do. Then, let your lips wander. Kiss along her cheek then down her neck. If she's anything like me, she'll love the neck. And when you kiss her, don't be afraid to do more. Pretend to bite at her neck. Not hard enough to hurt or leave a mark, but kind of brush your teeth lightly against her skin. It'll send shivers down her spine. Suckle on her skin. It gives a tingly feeling like no other. Another spot she may like would be along that soft spot between where the side of her neck and her shoulder connects. There and along her collarbone. Very sensitive areas. Another would be that spot on her neck where her larynx is (if you're retarded or having a blonde moment, my dearest insert friend's name here, it's where your Adam's apple is d:) got it?) The base of her neck and that middle spot in between her shoulder blades in back are also highly effective areas.
But then again, don't forget that her lips are still there. Don't abandon them.
When you are back at her lips, nibble at her bottom lip. Most people have had someone suck on their bottom lip; it gets boring after the hundredth time, so don't even go there with your girlfriend. She has had her share of boyfriends, and more than likely every one of them that she has been intimate with has done that, so don't be one of the masses. Skip the sucking on the bottom lip and go straight for the gentle nibbling.
Of course, if you really want to be adventurous, then combine nibbling, sucking, and (pausing as you hold onto her lip gently while nibbling) running your tongue back and forth along her lip. Oh, the ideas she'll get from you doing that.
Now, as things progress, let things get more…forceful. Let your grip tighten. Push her body into yours. Let the kisses become harder. Faster, even. More passionate than before. Put one hand at the small of her back and put the other at the spot on the back of her head where her hairline and her neck connect, and bring her closer to you. It gives the illusion that you need her there.
Noticing a pattern here?
Now, when things have gone beyond the point of no return, don't go too hard or too fast. Keep things the way they were when you first started this little escapade. When you slip in, don't force it. If you don't go all the way in on the first try, then try again. It's not like you have to be all the way in the first time around. Go in slowly, but not too slow. Too slow will kill the feeling (at least at this juncture), too fast will hurt her (again, at least at this juncture).
When you've entered her, keep the same fluid motions as before. Go fast enough to keep things interesting, but slow enough to make her still want more. Allow your hands and fingers to explore her body, the whole thing this time. Don't just keep your hands on either side of her or just on one body part.
Run your fingers through her hair. Not too quickly; this is one thing you do slowly. Slowly so that the effect lasts longer. And you only do this every once and a while. Never often. This is one thing where too much will kill the mood. Run your fingers ever so sensually through her hair; let your hands savor every feeling you get as you feel the strands of her hair pass through your fingers and under you palm.
As you kiss her (gasp! Yes, you're still kissing her), do the same as before when you first started: kiss her with those innocently sweet kisses, and kiss along her cheek, neck, and collarbone. You want to please her, don't you? This will enhance her feelings like nothing else will. See, it's like a gift: the gift as a whole (making love to her) is wonderful, but it's the little things, like the fact you remembered to get it in her favorite color or that you remembered how much she loves the little pattern that runs across it (the kisses and the touches that made her yours to begin with) that make it all worth while.
When you do decide to kiss her skin and go beyond the limits you reached at the beginning, remember that no one body part should have all the attention. Pass her neck and shoulder and collarbone; explore the uncharted regions that have made you hunger so dearly for her. Her arms, her chest, her breasts, her stomach. Whatever you desire. But make sure to never abandon the key areas that got you here in the first place. Keep your grip, your touch, your very movements, firm but gentle. Hard enough to make it feel good; soft enough so as not to hurt her.
Tease her. Make her think you'll do something, something that she wants so badly, then pull away. For example, kissing her neck. Come close to her, let your warm breath caress her skin. Let your lips barely, if even at all, brush against her. Then pull back. Keep your movements sensual, unpredictable, fluid. Think…vampire like. Think…the way Aaliyah and Lestat moved in the movie The Queen of the Damned. Starting to do something, then backing away, making the other want them to continue. Make her want you. Make her need you the way you need her. Let her know that though she can control you, you have control of the reigns as well. Give her the illusion that you can just as easily make her do whatever you want, just the way she can do to you. Of course, never use that against her, never make her do anything unless it is what she wants. But, never let her know that you won't (okay, let me rephrase that: let her know you won't make her do anything she doesn't want to do, but when you're being a tease, just casually not mention that to her). Make it your version of playing hard to get; tease her, be mischievous, be flirty and playful.
And last, but certainly not least, whisper in her ear. Tell her sweet nothings that will send shivers down her spine. Tell her how beautiful she is. Tell her how good this feels. Tell her how much you love her. Seriously. We women are not that hard to figure out when it comes to this. Tell us the things you know we want to hear. Whether you're telling her how the feel of her entices your senses, how that special little thing she does to you makes her that much sexier, or how you just love being this close to her (or, for a little dirty talk, being in her), just tell her. Whisper into her ear how you will never leave her as you make love to her. Whisper to her how much you love her. Quietly tell her how she's the only woman (and I emphasize on woman) you will ever love like this, how there is no other woman for you. Softly tell her how this feels so right. Breathe sweet things about how you two were meant to be together in her ear as you move in and out of her. That deep throaty whisper that they emphasize movie sex scenes? Yeah. That's there for a reason. I have yet to meet one girl who'll tell me that she hates it when her boyfriend whispers in her ear like that. Trust me. Tell her anything and everything you can think of that will make her feel like she's beautiful, like there's no one else in the world you'd rather lay your eyes upon, like she's the only one who matters.
In essence, worship her body. Make her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Make her feel like there's no one else in the world for you (for that is what you wanted this information for, isn't it?). Make her feel like you need her there like the very air you breathe, like she is the sole key to your survival, like she is the only thing you live for. Give her that illusion; it will make her feel genuinely loved.
And that, my friend (at least, when it comes to that physical part of the relationship d:P), is one way to show her that you truly love her.