alcohol consumes me daily
never have I taken a sip…

acid rains down on me,
washing me away in it's wake
intoxication taking a seat next to me…

drowning, drowning, drowning
no, I am still alive…

it was her, it was her,
she took it, she drank it…
she is the one that is dying…

and the fumes coming off of her are…
consuming, consuming, consuming,
every cell within my soul…

and guilt.

the rubix cube that can't be solved
the pain that eats at my soul…

"it's your fault."

she's drowning, and all you can do is float,
hoping that you won't sink from the same wave…

"I was drunk last night…"

no, it can't be true…
the gases of the intoxication beside me
are suffocating me…
killing me, as much as they are killing her...

and somehow it's like déjà vu…

gases make me faint,
comatose; I begin to dream…
she wasn't the only one who ever ended up that way

…my mother…
she was hurt, too.
broken by the same chemical
just as consumed,
she…

my eyes open, a face much younger
sits at the same dock in which I am seated…
she's sober…
…just telling me
how much she can't remember…
…but the part that she can remember
is what worries me the most…

and her words only brought me back to
a broken childhood, reminding me
battles aren't over…
more are still to be won.
as I fight for her life too…

and hopefully she will use the lifesaver that I threw out to her
last night.