Well, this is basically a collection of funny/odd things my friends and I have said/done... enjoy!

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Mrs. Adair: The majority of you guys aren't doing beans!

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Hannah (in gym class): Ooh, I want to go on the Boner machine!

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ENGLISH CLASS

Brady (reading a part of a mad lib): And they broke the record for most sticks scored in a water bed... wait a minute, what??

Brady: And the town's baseball team, the Little League Crackers

Brady (talking to about 5 of us): Ok, if you guys laugh at this you are retards: "Jimmy licks his grandfather's lumpy nipples" (and later we all get in trouble for laughing while we're supposed to be reading Anne Frank)

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Craig: Why is she talking about pencils and rubbers?

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Miss Lasota: And now we need a school-appropriate body part…

Brady: Penis

Miss Lasota: That's not school-appropriate

Brady: What? Mr. Klenk says it in Health all the time!

Katelyn (after finding something on top of her desk): Eew, what the hell is this white stuff?

Loren & I (cracking up): Oh my god, you are so messed up!

Imane: I wonder what Miss Lasota and Mr. Holloway were doing on that desk last night…

Me: I think she heard you…

Katelyn: There's something in my shoe (pulls it out. It's one of those things you try on shoes with)!

Me: It's panty hose…

Katelyn: But it's only one… what's the singular form of panty hose?

Me (not thinking): I don't know, a panty ho?

Me (in gym, doing push-ups): This is so hard!

Craig: That's what she said

Brady (talking about what we would do if we were rich): I would buy the Ravens, and the Redskins and make the Redskins have a cage match with the Ravens, and buy a Porsche, and all the Victoria's Secret models, and Neverland Ranch…

Mr. Holloway: You want to live with Michael Jackson?!?!

Brady: No, I'd make him move out.

Mr. Holloway: Yeah, but he'd still know where you live…

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Mr. Klenk: Taking steroids would be like…. It would be like….

Craig: A kink in the hose of life?

Mr. Klenk: Exactly!

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Katrina: Mrs. Cortinas told us this story about alka-seltzer and pigeons…

Hannah: And…?

Katrina: And if they drink it they blow up and I was like "no way!"

Hannah: Eew!

Katrina: And then I was all "what if they had a baby and they blew up and then there was a baby seagull like 'pop!'"

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Imane: This one time…

Elizabeth: Was it at band camp?

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SOTTERLY

Colin: I was thinking of adding a new dimension to my character

Me: Hmm…

Colin: I'm making him gay.

Me: Oh, so that's why you hang out with Danny all the time!

Danny (in the makeup chair): Wait, what are you doing? I'll look queer!

Ashley: I'm putting these on so the light will reflect off of them and people will be able to see you better.

Danny: Why sparkles? What self-respecting man wears sparkles?

Me (eating a mini hot dog): Mmm, I love this weenie…

Danny: That's what she said

Me: And those buns!

Danny: That's what she said

Me: I want to bite it….

Danny (laughing): Ok, ok you win!

Anna (making up "background stories" for our characters): I'm a pirate whose last night was spent with the captain, Long-Arm.

Jacqueline: I'm a spy… who was SHOT!

Nick: I'm a pirate/traveling insurance salesmen

Me: I'm an… 18th-century prostitute and I was the captain's maiden!

Anna: Hey!

Me: And you shot me!

Dawna: And you field girls, we need more wistfulness, more sad, more….

Nick: More angst?

(Waiting for the next tour to come, attempting to be quiet)

Anna:Let's go in the woods so people won't be able to see us

(backing up)

Me: Oh crap! Ouch! I just backed into something painful!

Jacqueline: What??

Me: I think… I think it's burrs. Yeah, it is. There are burrs stuck to my ass.

Nick (laughing): Try to pull them out…

Me: (I do, and I hear a huge riiipp) Great. I ripped my panty hose.

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FRENCH CLASS

Me: Il pleut!

Kristen: It's not raining…

Me: Ta mere! (Your mom!)

(Going around saying what we like to eat)

Kristen: J'aime manger un pizza

Megan: J'aime manger un hot dog

Me: J'aime manger la radio! (???)

Me: I'm going to write a song in French, and it's going to be called La Petite Poubelle ('The Little Trashcan')

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Tell me what you think!