A tear drop.

A teddy bear.

Holding onto my knees...

I couldn't let go.

It had been exactly three months and seven days since we'd broken up...

And still, he was the only one on my mind.

Sure, this is starting off sounding like he left me for some chick, isn't it?


I left him. It was stupid. But I thought it was the right thing to do.

Why wouldn't he wait for me, he said he loved me, so he would wait, right?

Wrong. But it was my fault.

My own friends told him I left him for some douche named Andy.

And I sure made it seem reasonable.

But at any rate, now he's with one of those friends, and he's not coming back...

These thoughts were going through my head, while I was curled up in the corner of my room, hugging my knees. Tear drops glistened and dripped onto my knees, making them awkwardly wet to lean on, but I didn't care. I didn't care that mascara and eyeliner were staining my arms and legs, I didn't care that someone could very well walk into my room and see how much of a mess I was, I didn't care. He was the only one I cared about, and he was probably off on some date with her. It was a friday night, after all. And I was sick, so my own friends abandoned me.

I sighed, as on the radio, his old favourite song came on.

"You Don't Know What Love Is" by the White Stripes. Tears were falling from my eyes, and I was just blinking them away, not even bothering to wipe them away. I knew the song by heart, I had grown so obsessed with everything about him as we were dating... but towards the end of that episode, we were falling apart. He was growing away and onto another girl, and I was meeting new guys that caught my fancy, but not enough that I wanted to leave Derek for them. Derek... was my whole world.

Staggering upwards, I made my way over to my stereo. With a click, and a fwip, the song stopped. I sobbed into my free hand, leaning against my radio. Blindly, I walked into my bathroom and pulled a towel out of a drawer. It had stains of eyeliner from previous mental breakdowns, and I only made the stains worse as I wiped off all the tears. I stared into my mirror.

"God... what a mess," I whispered to myself. I wiped away the random streaks of eyeliner that crawled down my cheeks, but the blobby black mess around my eyes was too much to work with, so I left it. Crawling back into my corner. I hugged the teddy bear that I'd named Derek when I bought him. He had the same fur colour as Derek's hair, and had a strange strong yet soft look to it. Eyeliner stained its ears, making it look like someone had stupidly attached the wrong color ears to the bear.

THWACK! a sound made me jump. I ignored it, burying my face in my knees again. THWACK! another sound echoed through my room. I looked up. A rock ricocheted off of my window. I stood up as a third rock hit. Glancing down and out of my window, a familiar face made me choke. A lump arose in my throat. Was I hallucinating?

No. Derek was standing just outside my window, holding tiny stones in his hands. He waved, and I gave a faint smile. Then, he pointed at the ground, gesturing for me to come down and outside. I ran down stairs and out the front door, yelling that I forgot something in the mailbox to my utterly confused parents. He greeted me, just under the plum tree in my front yard.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him, the lump in my throat making me gasp out every other word. He smiled.

"I had to see you. I... well, I heard you were still in love with me," he said, a smile to gentle to be mocking on his face. I looked down at my feet.

"Yeah..." I said, knowing how obvious it was that I was still in love with him. My cheeks were burning an awful shade of maroon, laced with new streaks of eyeliner. I self-conciously tried to wipe it away, and he frowned at me.

"Were you crying?" he asked me, putting his hands on my shoulders, in a caring, fatherly way. I nodded, feeling very sheepish and childish. He grimaced.

"Was it because of me?" he asked again, looking right into my eyes. I wanted to look away, but his eyes were just so... magnetic. I nodded softly, and he leaned forward and held me in his arms. A warm shiver was sent down my spine, as it felt so right to be in his arms again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and all of a sudden, I had my tongue back.

"I'm sorry too." I breathed in his ear, and then it began to rain. It was soft, and it didn't bother me in the least. It was almost romantic to be hugging under the plum tree, stray drops of water splashing every so often on our noses.

"I'm sorry I didn't wait for you, I shouldn't have believed them..." he went on, squeezing me tighter, still gently. A tear fell from my eye but it just looked like another raindrop.

"I'm sorry, I... I shouldn't have left you, I should've kept holding on... I should've been more loyal, more faithful... I shouldn't have screwed up so badly," I said, burying my face in his shoulder, my voice quivering. He just held me in his arms, safe and protective.

"It's okay," he said, smiling down at me. "Just never let go of this again," he continued, stroking my hair. I looked up into his eyes.

"I promise, I'll never let go of this... as long as you never let me go again," I whispered, and rather than using words, he just leaned down and kissed me. Yes.