A/N: Ahem. I needed to vent. I don't know if this even makes sense. Yes, I do realise there are no full stops and there's very limited punctuation. That was deliberate. This is like...free verse. Everything in italics would normally be put in "quotation marks". I don't know if writing this has made me feel better or worse. I don't know what I'm going to do with it. Whether or not I'm going to show it to who I wrote it for. (Regular readers of mine/ones who've been to my profile will know who that is.) Reviews will eventually be returned. Thanks for taking the time to read my depressive rantings.


I want to stay friends (you said)
Oh yes, let's stay friends
So we won't talk for six months
Maybe after that we'll be able to muster a(n awkward) Hi
And maybe in another six months we'll be able to ask How are you?
And (actually) care about the answer
But not in the (vindictive) way we do now
Not in that way that makes me wonder (makes me wish) that you would reply Horribly, Everything's going wrong (since you left)

Oh, but I don't care (about you) anymore
I don't care that you look at her the way you (used to) look at me
Like you don't care that I put my scissors away (under my bed)
You don't see the pretty patterns I make on my skin (so we can both pretend they're not there)
You're better (than that) You're doing so well
How would you know?
It's not like we talk anymore
It's not like you ever see me
(It's not like) you care

When (it feels like) everyone else has left I'm here for you You promised (you lied)

You want to forget (about me)
About all my mistakes which became yours too
About how I once made you feel
Maybe because it hurts (me) too much
To know that I still want to make you feel that way
Even though we both know you can't
I want to forget
I want to remember
I don't know what I want
(Do I want you?)

I carved an M into my skin (for you)
No, for me
For masochism (the pain I put myself through, for you)
For moan
For melodramatic (me)
For malicious (you)
For memories
For mirror (mirror)

I want to stay friends
Ha, I'll see what I can do

Darling, we both know what you're capable of
There's the evidence right here
When I look in the mirror
To see myself (fading again)
There's more each day
Jagged red cuts
Bones visible
But you don't see (them)
She is all you see
You don't see me