The Good Kind of Forever
Here I was again. Knocking on his door and crying my heart out. One would think he would open the door, take one look at me and call the mental institute. But no, instead, as if expecting me, he opened the door with a small smile and a carton of Coldstone's 'All Lovin No Oven' icecream. This, people, is why Brian McAdams is my best friend.
"H-he broke up with me!" I sobbed, gratefully taking the icecream carton from him as he ushered me into his house. "I mean, i-it just came out of nowhere. I thought he was h-happy."
"Shh, I know, I know." He soothed, sitting me down on the couch and producing two spoons from seemingly nowhere. "I've got A Walk to Remember in the DVD player; I know it's your favorite." He smiled at me again, hopped up and pressed play. The familiar first scene started to play and he plopped back down, drawing my head to his shoulder. We sat there in silence for a few minutes, both of us taking turns scooping icecream out of the carton and into our mouths. That is, until I broke the silence with the same question I always ask when I'm in this situation.
"What's wrong with me?" I ask quietly, looking up at him. He sighed, like he always does and gave me the same answer he always does.
"Nothing, he's just crazy not to see what is right in front of his eyes." He said, offering his signature smile. This was as much a part of our post-breakup ritual as the icecream and romantic movie. He knew just what to do to give me a shred of my confidence back. I smiled sadly and snuggled into him, as he wrapped his arms around me in a comforting hug.
"I know…it's just…I don't know. Jason broke up with me because he liked the girl he was cheating on me with better, and Matt broke up with me because I was going to slow for him, and now Adam just…broke up with me for no apparent reason. There has to be something I could change. I could…Get a makeover, or move faster in a relationship, or get a personality change, or-"
"Never," Brian interrupted me, tilting my head to look at him in the eyes, "change yourself for anyone. Especially if they're too dense to see how wonderful you are without all that." His eyes burned into mine. I commented on them all the time, they were the kind of eyes someone could miss at first but on a second glance they could keep you intrigued for hours. They were hazel, technically, but they had flecs of gold in them, too, which made them that more intense when he looked you in the eye like he was to me now. Even the disheveled brown hair falling in front of them couldn't diminish the intensity of his gaze. It gave me the chills sometimes, but at the same time it assured me of his sincerity. I nodded slowly and he finally released me and we fell into our comfortable silence again.
"Why can't there be more Landon Carters in the world?" I asked with a sigh.
"Because bad boys don't miraculously become good in real life thanks to one person, Anna."
"Oh bah humbug. You have no faith."
"But I have common sense to make up for it. That's why we have these little sessions, you know. You try to reform the unreformable. You should just fall in love with a good guy for once." He said, shifting underneath me a little.
"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?"
"Brian!" I squealed gleefully, dancing towards him.
He laughed at the sight of me and closed his locker. "What is it now? Did your Physics teacher finally feel the wrath of your voodoo powers?" He asked, smiling happily.
"No, even better! Pat Shea just asked me out!" I said delightfully. My smile fell when I saw his dark expression.
"Great!" He said with fake enthusiasm, shutting his locker a littler more forcefully than necessary.
"You're kinda putting a damper on my mood, McAdams."
"Well, I'm sorry I'm not rejoicing in the fact that my best friend is setting herself up for heartbreak, Ms. Collins." He snapped moodily, stomping down the hallway. I scurried after him, indignant.
"What are you talking about? Pat's a nice guy-"
"Yeah if you get past the vandalism charges."
"That was never proven to be him! Besides, I really felt like there was an attraction between-"
"No, there's an Anna-Traction."
"That's what I said…wait, what?"
"Anna, as in you, and traction as in attraction. Annattraction is when you delude yourself into falling for these losers-"
"Pat is not a loser!"
He stopped suddenly and stared me down. "Anna! Landon Carter is not a real person, and you can't make him one! You can't convince a lost cause to change his ways. Now excuse me, but I'm going to go stock up on 'All Lovin No Oven'." And with that he stomped off towards the parking lot.
I looked up from where I was sitting on the park bench to see Brian sitting down next to me. I quickly lowered my gaze to my feet.
"Pat's a nice guy." I said meekly, rubbing my hands together. It was getting pretty cold lately.
"I'm sure he is."
"He's just misunderstood."
"You don't think so."
I heard him sigh, but I was still avoiding looking into those eyes because I was afraid I'd see just how right he was. "No, I don't. But then again, while you're optimistic to a fault, I'm cynical to a fault, so I guess neither of us should be given an award for best judge of character."
I didn't respond, just shuffled my feet. I felt him hug me, which on one hand was bad because I was still a little peeved at him, but on the other it felt good against the cold.
"I just don't want to see you get hurt." He said, his hot breath warming the side of my face.
"I know, it's just…Mr. Right isn't just gonna show up one day, I have to look for him."
He sighed heavily, and unwound his arms, pulling back from me. "Yeah."
There was silence again, but it wasn't our usual comfortable one. This one was tense, full of something that I couldn't quite place. I convinced myself it was leftover from our argument to soothe my discomfort, but the truth was it really unnerved me.
"What about you, mister? Any lucky girls you're planning to woo?" I asked, unable to stand another moment of silence.
He laughed and shook his head. "Nah, I'm sorta still pining for a hopeless case."
"Oh, is it Sandy still?" I shifted to look at him, but he was now the one looking at his feet. "Brian, I told you, anyone who has a stripper name is bad news."
He chuckled but didn't answer me.
"So? Is that who it is?" he shook his head. "Oooh, a new crush? Do tell."
"Aw why not?" I pouted.
"Because…" He paused and glanced at me. For a second there was a new emotion in those intense eyes, something I couldn't quite figure out. But almost as soon as I spotted it, he smirked and turned his head. "Because if I tell you, I'll have no chance with her."
"Are you saying I'd ruin your chances? Mr. McAdams, I am insulted." I said, thankful for the familiar playfulness to be back.
He just laughed and started to walk off.
"Don't run away from me, Brian! I will discover who she is!"
I was running. I don't know where to, but I was running. On a yellow brick road, no less. I ran past Adam, then Matt and Jason, then Andrew, Dan, Frank, and Joe, then Kyle and Jeremy. Finally I ran past Pat. I made a move to reach out to him but I couldn't stop running, and he only looked on with mild interest as I kept speeding along.
I stopped but everyone was gone, and then I started to cry. A river started to form around me and apparently the $120 my mom had spent on private swimming lessons went down the tubes because I started to sink. But just when my head was about to go under, a pair of strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me up to the air. I couldn't see who it was, and I could only guess it was Pat. I felt myself being laid on solid ground and a distant, familiar voice telling me I was okay. And I believed it.
Next thing I knew something soft was pressing against my lips. It took me a moment to figure out it was another pair of lips. Yes, this had to be Pat. But as the lips lingered, I realized it couldn't be him. He was forceful and urgent. No, whoever this was was kissing me slowly and gently, as if going too fast or hard would break me. Even though it lasted for only a few seconds, it seemed like that one kiss went on forever. And not in the way that you wish it would just stop, but in the way that you wish forever was longer.
I felt him, whoever he was, pulling away and I wanted to tell him to keep kissing me, but my voice had left me. Instead, I slowly tried to open my eyes. My vision was blurred at first, but slowly a pair of eyes came into focus. I started to smile, until I remembered who those intensely beautiful hazel eyes with gold specs belongs to.
And then I woke up.
I sat up strait in my bead, glancing wildly around me, but there was no yellow brick road, now boyfriends, past or otherwise, no rivers of tears and most importantly, no best friends giving me the best kiss I have ever received.
That…is a good thing, right?
Here I was again. Knocking on the door and crying my heart out. I had all but avoided Brian since my really messed-up dream two weeks ago, but I knew I needed him. Not to mention his delicious icecream. It would have been perfect if it was raining, but now, the weather chose not to listen to my heart and decided to send big fluffy snowflakes, instead of the heavy, depressing raindrops that would hide my tears a little.
Brian's mom answered the door, yawning. It wasn't surprising since it was ten o'clock at night. "Hi, Mrs. McAdams. Sorry to be here so late, I was just wondering if Brian-"
"I'll go get him honey." She said with a gentle smile. She was like my second mom, so she knew why I was here. "Come in." I nodded and stepped into the doorway as she walked up the stairs. I heard her call Brian, and tell him who it was. I heard shuffling feet and soon saw Brian bounding down the stairs. He caught one look at me, trying to smile but the tears weren't making it very convincing.
"God, Anna, I'm gonna kill him. I'll go get the ice-cream."
"No…no, I just want to go for a walk…it's snowing." I said, trying to smile again. I did love the snow, thought it didn't really reflect my mood. It was part of the reason I loved New England so much. You know, aside from the Red Sox.
He stared at me for a minute then nodded. "Okay, let me get my coat."
We walked in silence for most of it. It was one of those comfortable ones that I was used to, thankfully. But, being me, I just couldn't break tradition entirely.
"What's wrong with me? I mean, they all start out great, they tell me the right things, but in the end I'm not good enough. Please, just tell me what's wrong with me." I looked at him with pleading eyes, trying not to cry again. I was too much of a crybaby for my own good.
I was expecting the usually sigh, 'nothing, he's just crazy' spiel and a comforting smile. But what he did definitely wasn't tradition.
"You know, you always ask me that, but damnit, Anna you're asking the wrong guy." He said, stopping in his tracks. I stopped and turned to him, but before I could ask him what he meant, he pulled me by the arm to him and his lips were on mine.
My heart leapt in my throat and I remembered my dream-kiss. It was surprisingly similar. Normally you would think in a situation like this you would thing he would be passionate and fierce. But no, he kissed me like he was almost afraid to. His lips lingered a moment an inch from mine, before brushing mine lightly then pressing firmer. Our lips were both cold from the weather, so the sensation was a little strange. It was like kissing a ghost at first, barely there, and then becoming more real by the second. I felt my lips parting and his tongue danced over mine. I tasted something like cinnamon and vanilla, it was amazing. I wish I could find a better adjective but that's all I could come up with. Before I knew it, it was over and he was pulling away from me.
I opened my eyes, my vision a little foggy at first, but then I saw those gold-flecked eyes staring intently into mine. I felt his warm hand touching my cold cheek and I shivered, not from the cold but from something else. I saw in his eyes that same thing I saw in the park that day, and I finally realized what it was. My shiver, however seemed to break Brian from his trance and he pulled his hand away.
"You know what? I take that back. I know what's wrong with you. You don't see what's right in front of you. I'm so stupid. I mean, you haven't even looked at me for the past two weeks, what makes me think-? You know what? Never mind, just…forget about it." He said, digging his hands in his pockets and starting to walk back to his house.
My legs felt like jelly, but I somehow managed to make them run after him. I grabbed his coat sleeve, and when he turned around, I tried to say something, but nothing seemed to come out. We stood there staring at each other for God knows how long, until I finally said, "What if we break up?"
He paused for a second before a smile spread across his features and he faced me completely. "I'll be at home with 'All Lovin No Oven' and A Walk to Remember in the DVD player ready for you."
And then he kissed me again, gently at first, but then picked me up and spun me around, getting more excited with each second. I laughed, at his happiness and gladly kissed him back. It was one of those amazing kisses that seem to last forever. But the good kind of forever.
A/N Ok, this is my first ever one-shot, so I'd appreciate some feedback. I've never really been good at describing kissing, so sorry if it makes you cringe?
I started this Friday, we had a snow day :), but then didn't finish it. Then it snowed again today so I finished it, even though I should be writing my English research paper/ Hehe, oops.