Here is what you should know about me: I'm a sucker.
I mean it. I'm gullible and I'd rather believe the best of people. I am a prime target for the advertising industry, for guys with cheap pick-up lines and credit card agencies. I see a commercial with a girl wearing the latest perfume and I want it, I want it all – I want the perfume she's wearing, the boots on her feet, the long blonde hair and the boy standing next to her. If you tell me you'll do something, I'll believe you. I am a lesson in naivety, an example in futility and I am constantly disappointed, in myself, in others, and in the commercials on the television.
I have spent hundreds of dollars on hair product and yet my hair still doesn't shimmer and shine like the girls on TV. I have bought the perfume, worn the stilettos and mastered the eye shadow look guaranteed to improve your life and yet my life is still pretty much the same. Am I stupid, or merely a wishful thinker? I like to think that I'm simply hopeful. I'd like to believe that the make up, clothes, music, or computer being plugged on the TV really does have the ability to make everything a little bit better. But so far, no such luck.
I've learned, in my nineteen years, that people tend to scorn the gullible. Young couples in love are scoffed at and given the statistic that two in five marriages end in divorce. Credit card agencies and identity thieves are literally out to get us. Groups of people have been persecuted for different reasons throughout history. But we never hear about the plight of the hopeful. We are, without a doubt, just as persecuted as the rest of the world. When a boy tells me he'll call, I believe him. Why say you will if you won't? It is my own personal form of hell, sitting waiting for the phone to ring, unwilling to let it leave my sight for even a second because of course he'll call. He said he would.
I like to consider myself a relatively intelligent person. I've read Dante, learned about Napoleon, and survived calculus. But does being well educated mean you lose your hopefulness? Do we trade it in, for our books and calculators – one biology text book, in exchange for our trust? Why do we allow ourselves to live in a world where we are supposed to take everything anyone says with a grain of salt? If you say this face lotion will make my freckles go away, I will spend $89.99 on it. If you tell me if I study hard enough I will get an A, I will spend three hours a day in the library. I am willing to hold my up end of the bargain; since when is it okay if the rest of the world doesn't? If you say you're going to call, do it. If you say you love me, mean it. If you say this i-pod/computer/shirt/shoe/makeup will make my life better, then it should. Since when have we made it okay for the world to lie to us?
And so I will continue to be gullible. I will continue to believe in the face value of people, and trust that they mean what they say. It is very naïve and far too innocent, but the alternative – cynicism – is far too distasteful for me.