This was a project for creative writing, our prompt was people wanting to be amputees. Creepy, but whatev. Enjoy.
Alexia stood with her leg strapped upwards to her thigh. She smiled eerily at the reflection in the mirror. From this line of view, it looked as if she only had half a leg, that her leg was actually amputated at the knee. Or would it look better amputated with the left leg?
She quickly unstrapped her right leg, and hopped on her foot as she strapped up the other leg. Closing her eyes so she could get in the perfect position before looking, she slowly opened them.
"Beautiful," she breathed, seeing herself for the first time as she truly was, or wanted to be. Ever since she met an army veteran when she was little, she had wanted to be an amputee. She just couldn't grasp the concept of a person with one leg, or one arm maybe, being unhappy. They were individuals! They were unique, breaking from a society where both arms and legs were needed to be beautiful and successful.
Alexia reached down and felt the stub her knee had become, and wiggled her fingers in the empty air below the knee. She took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. This was who she wanted to be.
But no one would help her achieve her goal. Doctors refused to cut off her perfectly healthy legs, and her mother just told her to let go of such crazy notions. Shouldn't they be supporting her, trying to make her happy? Instead of making her miserable with her imperfect image?
She stared long and hard at her beautiful reflection. She shouldn't be controlled, or forced to live a lie. She knew how she was supposed to look, and it wasn't like this.
She unstrapped her leg and flinched as it came back into view as she planted both feet on the ground. Since they didn't listen to her now, maybe she could force them to. But how?
She looked around her clean room. Everything was in it's proper place. Her mother made sure of it. "First impressions always count the most," her mother always said. And she kept saying it, even when her friends continually came over.
Alexia rolled her eyes at the thought, and walked over to her desk. She opened and closed the drawers, not really sure of what she was looking for, until she opened the bottom left drawer. A dagger with a white rose on the hilt flashed up at her. She froze, then slowly picked it up. She grabbed the handle, and slowly pulled the blade out of its sheath. No, it surely couldn't cut through her entire leg, but maybe it could do enough damage to….
She looked up quickly, trying to find some logic in what she was actually saying. Try to cut off her own leg. It was an absurd notion, yes, but if it could actually work… She ran a finger down the sharp side of the blade. A thin line of blood appeared and she lifted the finger, watching the blood ooze silently out of the cut. It was still very sharp.
She walked over and sat on the end of the bed, both her legs spread in front of her. She traced the blade where she longed to have the leg disappear. Then she pressed harder into the skin. A flash of pain, and blood started to appear. But it seemed so right.
In a sawing motion, she continued to cut through the layers of skin. She had went over them during her anatomy class. There was three distinct layers. First, (she pressed even harder, a pain like nothing she felt caused her to clench her teeth) the epidermis layer. Blood streamed down her leg, staining the perfectly white carpet. She experimented, tilting the blade up and driving the very tip of the blade in. A horrid but surprisingly pleasant pain distinguished itself. Next, the dermis layer. She pressed the tip as far as she could, and wonder faintly if sex could achieve pleasure such as this. Her mind began to wander as more blood pooled around the bed. And finally, the subcutaneous fat layer. She felt the knife hit something hard, and looked down through a haze of what could be tears. The white of her bone glinted up at her. In confusion, she sawed at the bone, but only appeared to make scratches on it.
Well, maybe she could just cut around the bone, and leave that to the doctors to saw through. Alexia then proceeded to cut in a circle around the bone. In feeling as if she had succeeded, she tried to push the skin down her leg, like she would do if she was wearing pants. She failed, and just looked down at her work.
"Beautiful," she sighed again then fainted, falling forward onto the floor, making a splashing sound as she hit the soaked carpet.