Just call me George
"You know what Molly?" I said to my best friend, staring down at the present she gave me in wonder "You beat me."
Molly blinked back at me confusedly of course, because she obviously knows what on Earth she has got me. Honestly, I have no idea what the thing is or how it symbolised Christmas in any way, shape or form-but I loved it.
"What?" she said, smiling obliviously "Beat you at what Angie?"
"This gift," I said, clearing my throat "I have no clue at what it is, you beat me."
"Oh, it's an angel cat, see?" she pointed at the pointy things on top of it's head that barely resembled ears "See there's it's ears and-" she pointed to a bit of yellow she saw on the head "That's the halo."
"Oh, I see now. Thankyou, I love it-" And I want to throw it at the wall. "Really, it's way more creative then my gift, look at that, eh, shitty digital wide screen over there. Doesn't it suck?"
The sad thing was I managed to sound completely and utterly genuine about it-and she believed me. I don't know where the words that came out my mouth had come from, obviously some kind hearted and lying son of-cough, part of me.
"Just knew you'd like it," her big brown eyes beamed at me and she squeezed my hand "The minute I saw it I just, it just, well-it made me think of you."
I remind her of a deranged cow look alike that has been made out of a brick and fed some kind of drugs, that is if a brick could take drugs-in which case; this brick had definitely taken a bad overdose. Really, I'm flattered.
"Oh, and the TV made me think of you." I smiled.
Square and emitting light that if stared at too long will make your eyes go bloodshot and sometimes make you want to scream, smash or throttle it. I love Molly, really I do, but she has no clue when it comes to presents. Take last year she thought pleasantly surprising me meant leaving a python on my couch. So, when I got home to watch the rest of the Christmas specials I sat on it and squealed when it started wrapping itself around one of my legs.
Sure, that may have not been all Molly's fault considering at the time she was dating this animal freak who worked at the zoo cleaning up droppings. Really now, who dates a guy who's job is to clean up animal crap at a zoo? One mentally challenged girl that's who, so I should be thankful she can even make breakfast without giving herself food poisoning.
"Thanks, I think." She smiled, patting me on the arm "You're going to be late for work if you don't leave now, aren't you?"
Ah yes, work! Away from this scattered brain ninny and off to save the world by doing paperwork and sending out emails to my employee's asking why they are late. Well really, they weren't exactly my employee's, I was just their supervisor-I wasn't the big cheese. But some day, I will be, and all those stupid little cheeses will be sorry that they ever ignored my damned emails.
Anyway, atleast I was at a higher rank then they ever will be. Well, until I get a better job, anyway, forcing me to have to replace someone or take on both jobs at once. Which is impossible, because being the big cheese involves a lot of time consuming activities and truckloads of coffee-or for me, Milo.
"Yes, yes I am." I said happily patting Molly on the shoulder "Bye, Molly."
Giving her one last smile I walked out the door to go to work, luckily Molly lives close to work otherwise I'd have to call someone for a ride having not obtained my license-who even said those stupid signs with '60' or '80' or something aren't suggestions? I saw a stupid little blue and white checked car go past going way above the speed limit, honestly, police car my ass.
Squish? No, that can not be a squish-this is unjustified! Whatever did I do to deserve this?
Looking down at my shoe I let out a groan and frowned at my heel in disdain. Yup, I had stepped in dog crap. Brilliant, marvellous Christmas present-best I could ever hope for.
In my inward battle I threw the cat angel at the ground, and it didn't even break. Not one single flipping chip, damn it.
"You know what cow face," I sneered at it, walking along and kicking it in front of me as I walked "You're a stupid present, and now I'm going to have to stick you on my mantelpiece aren't I? And no one will ever go in my lounge ever again because you're ugly. And, you know why else I hate you? Because I can't 'accidentally' break you, you know that? You're a freaking brick; the only way I can get rid of you is to set you on fire-"
Ah! An idea, I could drop it in the fireplace! Accidentally! But...bricks take a long time to burn; quite a long time-Molly will get suspicious. Damn it.
"Why are you angry at a painted brick with ears?" a voice came from behind me, startling me enough to trip over the brick, fall into someone's backyard-and land into their barb wire Christmas tree.
"Who the Christ has a freaking barb wire Christmas tree?" I hissed at it wincing in pain-then I heard a riiippp.
My skirt, that demented tree just ripped the back half of my skirt clean off of me! I'll kill it, that tree is fire kindle. (Or well, I'm sure I'll turn it into some kind of nice fence. Seeing as it isn't a real tree, consarnit. )
"Angelina," I looked up to see one of my co-workers and swore inwardly "Do you need a hand?"
It was George. Just call me George George. I just got promoted ahead of you George. We'll get along like two pods and a pea boss and I look like a freaking Greek god George.
"No," I snorted and narrowed my eyes at him "I'm all good, no thanks to you, George."
Cue the dramatic exit, now if only I could get up for it-I am currently stuck to a barb wire Christmas tree, and I'm not getting up with my skirt like this either.
"Yeah well," he said the edges of his lips quirking upwards, making me intensify my glare "You don't look like it."
Oh, really? It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out genius. Stupid George.
"Come on," he said, reaching out for my hands and rolling his eyes "Get up."
I looked up at him and withdrew, setting my jaw "No, shove off."
"What?" his eyes rolled back into his head in exasperation.
Did I really have to say it out loud? I didn't want to say something that could make him think of ahem, certain uncovered parts of me. Wait, what am I thinking about? It was as if I was expecting him jump on me just because a little bit of my skirt got ripped off-what is wrong with me? What makes my brain come to all these stupid conclusions?
"Why? If you just get up-"
"My skirt got ripped off." I said quickly, making him immediately look down at me.
"What?" his eyes returned to my face "What are you talking about?"
"I don't want to say it again-" I hissed, reddening "The back of my skirt, barb wire, RIP? Ok? Get it? Now, if you would just help me out for once because I don't want to be late for work and-what are you doing?"
He was taking off his trench coat, he is now resting it on my lap he is-he just untangled the wire. He is a genius, he is so nice he is-he stole your job, Angelina. Stop drooling.
"Turn around," I said and he rolled his eyes and turned around "No peeking."
Damn it, why did I say that? Of course he wouldn't peek! Why can't my mouth keep itself shut for once?
"As if I'd want to." He snorted and my brain said see?
Wrapping his trench coat around myself I snuck glances at him, ignoring my brain's eye rolls at me. Stupid George and his stupid trench coat that is really, really warm.
"You can turn around," I said and he did a 180 degree turn and looked at me "What?"
"Nothing, nothing," he said looking down at his watch "We're late, is all. Come on now, Angie pants."
Snorting at the silly nickname I sauntered after him, atleast it wasn't a long walk to work.
When we got there he turned to look at me "So? Don't you have something to say?"
It is polite to say thankyou, Angelina. So go on, do it.
"What?" I said, noooo "Want a trophy for it or something?"
And then he regarded me coldly, walking off without so much as a wave-I am such a dumbass. I always get everything wrong when speaking to him, saying the wrong things at the wrong time.
Sighing I walked off to my office, ignoring peoples why are you wearing George's trench coat and why so glum, chum's. Some people can be so nosey.
It was Christmas morning, and why am I even at work? Well, our work requires it unless you write an excuse note-besides, it's only for the morning and I am going to my parents for tea. Oh, and I have to give back George's trench coat.
"I'm serious Molls," I said looking out my office door with a snort "Someone came in and stuck mistletoe everywhere-I walked into the kitchen to get myself a Milo to find the receptionist and the donut boy making out on the bench! I couldn't even get to the tin!"
"Oh," she said, not sounding surprised and sounding oddly guilty to me "Wow."
"Yeah," I said with a nod and throwing another paper aeroplane at the wall "Anyway, I should get back to work."
"Uha," she said cheerfully "Be sure to take advantage of all that mistletoe-before somebody else does."
"What?" I said and was answered by the beep beep beep of Molly hanging up "Great, oh well, bye-bye trench coat."
Awkwardly I made my way around couples that scattered across the halls and one of them stuck their thumbs up at me when I went to walk into George's office. I responded the only acceptable way to such an insinuation-I stuck my tongue out at her and flashed my middle digit. Mature, I know.
Walking in there George failed to even acknowledge me, even as I stood in front of his desk shifting my weight and looking down at my shoes.
"George," I said and he blanked me, just plain ignored my existence he did. So of course, I, as per usual didn't get the message and I tried again "George."
He found his papers very interesting and I let an annoyed noise come out unintentionally and I slammed a fist on his desk "George, I have your trench coat here for you."
His face tilted upwards and his eyes were stone cold, he held out his hands "Ok, give it."
Biting the bottom of my lip I begrudgingly placed it into his hands. He tugged at it and looked up at me, clearing his throat "Normally one would let go when-"
"I know, I know." I snatched my hands away from it and looked at the coat forlornly, then tried to cover it up and ended up looking like some kind of confused barn animal.
"You can keep it if you-" he started, sounding sardonic.
"No," I said, holding up my hands "I'm fine, you keep it. Have-Have a nice work day, I mean, Merry Christmas. Bye."
Quickly I made my way back to the doorway and paused, staring at the wall in front of me "Thankyou."
I shut the door behind me before he could respond and quickly made my way away from his office, hearing a lady go "Did you see those marks on the floor yesterday? Someone must have stepped in dog crap!"
"It wasn't me," I found myself saying and then scrunched up my nose, walking even quicker "Damn it..."
After going back to my office and spinning around in my chair a couple times I realised I was out of paper to turn into aeroplanes-it was time to pilfer some more paper from the photocopier.
It was when I was about to snatch up the paper that I felt a tap on my shoulder, and when I turned around-George was standing there.
"H-hello? I wasn't stealing paper?" I said uncertainly, and then mentally slapped myself.
I stepped back a bit and gulped, but he only ventured further forward "So, you do appreciate what I did?"
"Yes?" I said, backing up against the photocopier in panic "Should I not?"
He stared at me.
"You know what?" I found my self saying with a nervous laugh "My Milo is getting cold, I should go drink it before it gets-"
"I know very well that the donut guy and the receptionist are making out in the kitchen-don't tell me you interrupted them just to get a bit of Milo-" his other hand is on the other side of the photocopier now, other side of photocopier!
"Yes, that's exactly what I did," I lied "Now, I think my Milo is getting cold so if you would please-"
"There is a lot of mistletoe around here around now isn't there?" he said, looking to a spot above my head and then back at me "In fact, there is one right above your head."
I opened my mouth to say no there isn't but then after twisting my head around to look I saw that there totally was.
"Look I-" I twisted my head back around to find that his face was only inches away from my own "Hey, what are you doing, this is a-"
But my words died as I tried to get work place out of my mouth because then his lips were on my own and he was pressing me back against the photocopier machine. Which is, might I say, kind of uncomfortable seeing as my ass is pressing into all kinds of buttons and now the photocopier machine is flashing.
"Shit," he murmured against my lips, which actually turned me on despite his word of choice "Follow me."
He led me out onto the small balcony outside his office and stood for a bit, staring out at the city.
"Um, George I-" I started but then was interrupted.
"You know," he said turning away from the balcony edge "I think we started out on the wrong foot. I mean when we met we argued, and just yesterday we were arguing and well-pretty much every time we came in contact with each other-we argued."
Looking at him my stomach twisted, what did Molly say this was? Frisson? A tremor of extreme attraction...that's not it, it couldn't be it-she used it when describing this stupid guy she is dating about now. And him? He's a garbage man.
"The arguing was my fault." I said with a shrug, screwing my nose.
I guess Molly and him did seem happy, but did happiness give you a future? Money gave you a future, promotions gave you a future.
"We could start again if you'd like-" he started, scratching the back of his head "Without the arguing..."
Didn't a wise man once say 'money can't buy you happiness'?
Looking up at George I found myself saying quietly "But, I like arguing."
He didn't hear me, perhaps he never would. I went to walk back inside but a bit of mistletoe dropped to my feet.
I picked it up.
"George," I said and turned around, he looked down at me.
I waggled the mistletoe in his face and he widened his eyes "You-"
He trailed off as I grabbed his collar and jerked his head towards mine, brushing my lips lightly against his. He grinned and his arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me to him almost possessively "I knew you couldn't help but fall for my charms."
He started kissing me, and I kissed him back, flinging my arms around his neck.
"Alright," I heard our boss shout from inside the building "Who wrecked the photocopying machine?"
"Shit," he murmured against my lips again but this time he grinned and said "It wasn't us, kay?"
"Kay." I said.
And then went right on kissing me.
Just call me cupid, stupid. I couldn't help myself, really, it was Christmas and I just had to do a story-even though I should, cough, be writing the next chapter of Dawn right now. Which I will start to finish, right after I post this.
Merry Christmas everybody!
And a happy new year.