'This is the first day of the future'
She's crying inside, you can see it in her eyes. The bittersweet tones of Ben Lee float through the room, and laughter hangs in the air. But still she sits, staring into space, her eyes saying the words she can't quite say.
Her face is stark – her skin pale, not covered by layers of make up, but still white. The dark dye in her hair contrasts her ashen face. Her eyes, normally ringed by eyeliner, are bare, leaving the green to bounce off the distinction in the rest of her features. Had she cried, her tears washing away the cosmetics?
She sits separate from the rest of the group, only just, but in a class of 8, this gap is conspicuous. Everyone knows about the fight, about what happened. Everyone knows the reason for the lost look in her eyes.
'Please me with your promises and hurt me with your lies.'
She sits still, not quite connecting with the world. Her vacant stare hides so much. You can see the scene replaying before her, again and again, stuck on repeat. She hides behind it, disconnecting herself from us. She is lost.
I turn, only for a moment, and see the look in her eyes. She tries to hide it, but you can see how much she is hurting. You can tell she is barely holding back tears, barely controlling the urge to let go. She is suffering.
I know that look – the one in her eyes. I've been there, and I wish that I could reach out to her, help her; but I know that she needs her friends, not me, some random person in her class. All the same, I wonder if it still feels the same, to have your heart stepped on by those who always promised to help.
I remember how it feels. The way you want to run, hide; cry like the world is ending. The way you wonder if every minute spent laughing every minute spent together; every promise; was a lie? The way you wonder if they had it planned from the start – to hurt you this way. I remember the pain, and the want; the need, to wake up and find it was all a bad dream. Is it still like that?
So Ben Lee continues to sing, and the laughter still rings in my ears. She still hurts and I still wonder.
Love me like the world is ending'