toxic stares fade with their voices
down the hall to the lunchroom, and you stick
your finger down your throat wishing
you could vomit

yourself, vomit all
their lies

(you're so starved for any truth.)
you never got that far so now

you look up and around at
the barriers surrounding scrawling
love on the walls of the bathroom stall,

saying
love is the answer, but you don't believe,

don't believe your very own words. love isn't the answer and never
can be if hate isn't the question, no not hate but indifference.
in your mind you really actually finally break away

,throw yourself through the doors but where will the streets
lead you
when your house isn't home and your mother
won't look at you.

(bow your head and cry now, but you've used up your tears
trying to wash away the reality that's filled with your fears.)

the unknown is something you used to adore
when it meant beauty and not dull screeching terror, limbs splaying
mid-air, trying to break the fall and hide your ears from their mocking

silence.