THE ANTI-MUSTARD ASSOCIATION
THE UTTERLY ODD ADVENTURES OF MY FRIENDS AND I

IT all started on the first day of school. The students of Bob Sanders
Middle School we're all sitting in the cafeteria waiting to be summoned by their teachers and start the morning work. As the Principal came into the cafeteria, she walked up to the microphone. Mrs. Ketchup started speaking.

"Hello students, this year we will be having a new vice-principal. His name is Mr. Musty."she "glared" at a man standing next to her. He stepped up to the microphone, an odd glint of evil in his eye. "Hello, earthlin- I mean, students. As Mrs. Ketchup has said, I will be taking over the worl- I mean taking over the VP job here."

The students looked at the weirdo, all thinking the same thing. HE IS AN ALIEN. But of course one girl wasn't just thinking he was an alien. She KNEW it. This girls name was Lindsay. She sat with her friends at one end of the lunch table. She looked around at her odd group of friends. There was Jamie, the Queen. All the girls wanted to be Jamie's friend. She is very nice and very funny. Once she told a story about dialing 911 using the Morris Code, and how it was very stupid. There was Laura, a shorter girl, who was in Jamie's inner circle. Then there was Morgan. She was as nutty as a monkey. Jamie lived across the street from her so they were best friends. There was Sung, who read more than the average person. She would read even the most boring books in the world as long as she could get AR points for it. There was Laura's best friend, Beka, who was an excellent basketball player, and along with Jamie & Laura, was on the advanced B-ball league in our town. Liane was a very quite girl who often hung out with Lindsay and her friend Emily. Now Emily was what Lindsay called 99.9% sarcasm. She loved old music like U2 and Aerosmith.

When Mr. Musty was finished with his little speech, the group of girls all looked at each other. Without saying anything at all, they all silently agreed. This guy was strange.

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When Lindsay got home after school, she went into her room and got on the Internet. She was an Internet freak so this was her daily routine. Wake up, go to school, come home, get on the net. A very simple life. As the hours passed and the day sky turned from blue, to pink, to purple, then to ebony for the sun's slumber, she looked outside at the twinkling lights sparkle from under the silky black paint that the world called the universe. She stared for awhile, until she saw something that made her want to scream.

She had always believed in aliens. Lindsay thought it was highly unlikely that humans could be the only living thing in the universe, so undeservingly. But she could not have been prepared for what she just saw. It was a downright, good old-fashioned, UFO. The UFO came down...closer...and closer...until it silently landed in her field in her backyard. She sighed...finally an adventure.

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The night air was cold against Lindsay's legs. She had been stupid enough to venture out searching for aliens wearing some pajama shorts and a T-shirt. The fenced creaked as she climbed it. Landing like a cat, she crept on all fours behind a big piece of machinery in her 2 acre backyard. She stood up and breathed in the night air. Only 40 feet in front of her was a very small spacecraft . It reminded Lindsay of the one on Space Jam. Once again she crept on her knees and walked toward the spacecraft. Looking inside one of the windows, she saw...Mr. Musty...in mid-transformation. He looked just like the man who made the announcement that morning at school, except there was an antenna coming out of his head, and one eye was large and black while the other was a normal human one.

HEHEHE! Lindsay thought. She was going to tell her friends about this. She walked back into the house, very pleased. Oh the powers of blackmail. (just kidding!!)

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Walking into her school the next morning Lindsay told her friends about what she saw. And even though her tale was strange, they believed her. Well, they only believed her when they snuck into the principal's office the next day, but that's besides the point. The point is is that they believed her, eventually.

@@@@@@@@...DISCOVERIES IN MR. MUSTY'S [email protected]@@@@@@@@@

The Lindsay and Emily were the ones to sneak into the office of the crazed alien. Looking around in the office they found some interesting documents. One being a diary. This is what was written inside.


DAY 3. GOT JOB AT LOCAL SCHOOL. LANDED SPACECRAFT SAFELY IN BACKYARD OF UNSUSPECTING EARTH PEOPLES. PLAN IN ACTION. OTHER ALIENS WORKING AT SCHOOL ARE READY TO TAKE ACTION. MEMBERS OF THE ALIEN ARMY ARE AS FOLLOWS...

NAME: DISGUISE:
ZIRD MR. DUTY...6TH GRADE TEACHER

PHISO MRS. HELSLEY...6TH GRADE TEACHER

CERPU MRS. BOYER...5TH GRADE TEACHER

FINI MS (Mrs.?) FINERRENERNERNERNERNER

TOG MR. HARRIS...DISTRICT SUPERINTENDENT

HOPE TO START USING THE BRAINWASH_2000 SOON. IT HAS BEEN HIDDEN IN A ROOM BEHIND THE STAGE. TOG IS STARTING TO MAKE THE STUDENTS LOOK ALIKE BY MAKING SOMETHING CALLED A "DRESS CODE". SOON WE WILL BE BRAINWASHING THE STUDENT TO START OUR ARMY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!! IN OTHER NEWS I FOUND THIS GREAT THING THEY CALL A "TIE" TODAY. I BOUGHT ONE WITH LITTLE CHILDREN ALL OVER IT ON TOP OF THE WORLD. I THINK IT FITS OUR MISSION PERFECTLY. WILL WRITE MORE SOON.

AGENT MUSTY


"WOAH, HE'S REALLY GOT PLANS NOW DOESN'T HE?" said Emily.

"Well you know what this means don't you?" said Lindsay.

"No."

"Well, we are the only ones who know about this "taking over the world bit". We're going to either A: tell the cops, get laughed at, then sent to an asylum. or B: make a plan to destroy the alien race," replied Lindsay, VERY serious.

"I think option B sounds good."said Emily, also serious.

"Me too"

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AUTHORS NOTE: I promise you, this is what me and my friends think about our VP. we honest to bob think he is an ALIEN!!! he just shows up one day acting all weird. and thus, the ANTI-MUSTARD ASSOCIATION was born. call us crazy, but we have a lot of evidence! once we asked him what he like better...MUSTARD OF KETCHUP and he said MUSTARD! now if that ain't proof I dont know what is!

UN-CLAIMING-Ritual: I own all the characters, the plot and the ANTI-MUSTARD ASSOCIATION. I dont own Mr. Musty's tie, cuz thats his horrible fashion sense. (the real Mr. Musty actually has a tie like that, another piece of evidence)

NOTE: SOME NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE "INNOCENT"
Mr. Musty is not the name of my VP...his is even worse...his last name means ARMY WARRIOR!!!! cowinky dink? I think not!

DEDICATED TO: the person who invented the CD...cuz without it I dont think computers or music would be very good...