The voice inside your head.
When I first heard him I was... seven. Young enough not to think I was going mad but old enough to know this was the kind of thing where it was best not to tell anyone.
He said Hello. That's all. Sweet and simple. The beginning of a beautiful friendship.
I thought back, Who are you?. Somehow I knew not to speak out loud.
"Scarlett!" My real-world seven-year-old friends called to me to come and play in the house, which we had made into a spacecraft. Flying to Mars became more important to me, and I never found out the answer.
But he didn't leave.
I never tried to find out about him again. I never asked his name, or how old he was. I knew he was male because of his voice, but I didn't know anything else about him.
We talked all the time. We talked about the songs I had stuck in my head, what I'd been doing, the films I'd been watching, the books I'd been reading.
We were best friends. We never left each other alone.
Sometimes I asked where he was. He was always in bed or with his friends. I asked about his friends. They were all male, all his age, and there were three of them. That was all he would tell me.
Sometimes I grew jealous of him, asking all these questions of me, getting more and more personal over the years, while he would only impart a tiny fraction of his life to me.
I kept this from him, though.
I tried to keep these thoughts stuffed into the back of my mind, where he could never dig them out. I still couldn't completely control this mind-talking thing. Sometimes I would get excited about something and shout in my brain with joy, then remember my brain wasn't my own, as he said You woke me up for that
I met Indigo when I got older, left school, and started college. He was the first person I saw, waiting in the crowded station for the train that would take me to my new life. He was the first one I talked to in those nervous few minutes after arriving. His room was only four doors down from mine.
I found out he was taking pretty much the same courses as me, so we were together pretty much all the time. We ended up great friends. I've always got on better with boys than girls, and with Indigo there was just- something.It felt like we'd known each other for years. I never heard from the voice in my head when I was with Indigo. I assumed he was trying to give me a chance to talk without being distracted. Or he was jealous.
Indigo was sweet, kind, funny and good-looking. We were interested in all the same things. Same taste in music, same in books,and in clothes. Same in ways of passing the time- films, bowling, swimming, shopping. I couldn't believe it- a boy that liked shopping!
Eventually our list of interests grew to include each other.
We became a couple. We went out on dates. We saw each other all the time. Everyone around the college knew us as IndigoandScarlett – one person. We got closer and closer, until I couldn't see a future for myself that didn't include Indigo. I really loved him. I thought it was true love. I thought it would never end. Then the bomb was dropped.
We'd got all our exam results a few days earlier. We both passed everything and I was very pleased with my results. The voice congratulated me on my results, and I accepted, pleased he was talking to me again. It had become a very bittersweet friendship, nothing like what I had with Indigo. I hoped it might return to the friendship I'd had with him in childhood.
I sensed he was worried about something, but I couldn't tell what.
Two days later, Indigo came to talk to me.
I moved in to kiss him, but he pushed me away. I immediately worried he might want to break up with me. Don't worry about that, said the voice.
"Scar," he said. "Don't interrupt me- this isn't easy to say. Just let me finish, and then you can talk or whatever."
I nodded. Normally I'd have screamed at him for using the word whatever. This wasn't normal.
Indigo carried on with his story. "My uncle - in America - has just had a heart attack. He died. We're all going over there for the funeral – my mum, dad, gran and granddad. It's next week. My uncle had three kids. Twins, one boy, one girl, and a little brother. Anna, Ricky and Louis, I'm sure you know of them. Thing is, there's no-one to look after them now. They could just move here. But their house is bigger and they've got a swimming pool, and the climate's warmer, and they've been through a lot so maybe we shouldn't make them move. I'm not supposed to know, Scar. My mum's convinced I don't. You know how parents always think you're young. "
He coughed.
"You know my dad lost his job?"
I nodded.
"And we can't find a job here, so he was going to retire early. But the age has just gone up, so he can't. Dad figures there'll be jobs for him in California. So I'm going out there in four days' time, but I don't know if I'll be coming back. I'm sorry, Scar."
I didn't know what to say. I couldn't believe it. I sat there in silence. Indigo turned away from me to leave. I reached out and grabbed his hand to stop him. But I still couldn't say anything.
The last four days with him felt like a dream. It had been wonderful before. When I didn't have to think about the future I could really enjoy myself. Now I had a time limit I knew I should make the most of my time with Indigo. Trouble was, I could only think that I might never see him again.
On the last day, we walked down to the station together. Indigo was going by train to the airport. He promised to phone me and tell me the second he knew what was going to happen to him.
We entered the underground station. I bought a ticket as well so I could follow Indigo up to the platform. I didn't care about the cost. It was worth it.
We went onto the platform together. I heard the noise of a train rattling down the tracks.
"The train now arriving is a Piccadilly line train to Heathrow airport terminals one,two and three. All trains stop at Westminster."
I looked at Indigo then, standing there with his green trolley suitcase, and just then I wanted to cry. I suddenly grabbed him and tried to hug him close to me, but the suitcase got in the way.
Just as the train was arriving he turned me round and kissed me. It was the most wonderful kiss I'd had. It nearly made me forget all my worries. But I couldn't help feeling disappointed that I'd never have it again.
Then Indigo whispered something to me that changed everything completely.
As I saw him get onto the train that might never bring him back, I felt happy.
As I began to walk out of the station, I kept stopping. I was overwhelmed. All my troubles had evaporated. I had to go and stand in a corner so I wouldn't get in people's way.
I thought over what Indigo had said to me: "I am the voice inside your head, Scarlett."
And I knew I would never lose him.