There are so many words

Like tiles on the floor

Dull and dreary and broken and stained

It cuts me to my core

As I walk upon them

Gingerly, at first,

They break and I become submerged

Frigidly immersed

Now I know that they are written,

They are filled with fire

I cannot escape them; I helped create them

They will not expire

Oblivious I floated along,

My eyes remained quite closed

Telling myself the darkness hurt

And that my heart lay out, exposed

But there was no heart to bear,

There was no soul to show

There was no blood inside my veins,

There were only cliffs below

Seeking what I did not see

With a map inside my head

I had a dream, I knew it was real,

But I remained the walking dead

Breathing death into your lungs,

Filling you with pain,

Your words became a silver stake

That stabs into my brain

Don't let me deceive you,

I wanted to believe

That what I had with you was right

And pleasure enough for me

But you are the only one alive

In a world of stalking ghouls

An angel in a zombie world

A genius among fools

I was an angel of light,

You thought that I was perfect?

I hated every cell I had

And I suffer for it

Mirrors on my broken eyes like

A wizard that we know

Except, I had the charms that

He obviously didn't show

I hate I hate I hate

every thing that I have done

I melt and shatter, bend and break,

like a snowflake in the sun.

The fires of hell kindled in my heart,

it burned me with regret;

an acid dripping in my eyes,

but I couldn't die just yet.

You taught me something; you taught me much.

My tears would fall like rain.

When I would finally fall asleep,

my dreams were filled with pain.

"Regret, regret, regret"

was my haunting siren song,

as I fled into my pain to try

and rid me from this wrong.

You really showed me love

because you showed me hell.

You gave me all your hurt

and you shattered my mirrored shell.

Stunned, I wandered aimlessly,

pretending to be searching

"I like her, let's go on a date,"

but I knew you were still hurting.

But I needed to heal you,

I needed to reveal you,

I needed to show you love.

I hated myself, I hated the world,

and you were none of the above.

Like a thunderbolt from God, he said

"You stupid shit.

She's the one that gave you me.

I'm the perfect fit"

Because God is love is God

is love is all you need to have,

and by your hand and by your pen

that's all I have to give.

I'm not worthy of anything,

I deserve to die

(of course after being tortured, beaten

white-hot needles in my eye.)

Can I ever say I'm sorry?

Can my love ever be enough?

I just feel so worthless

and your words were more than rough.

But I deserved every syllable

every bitter word and phrase

but it so fills my eyes with gladness

when I can look upon your face.

Remember when I held your hand?

The first day that we met?

It was nothing like when I found love

and I knew that you were it.

I can't but love you forever

because if you hadn't spoke

my life would be destruction

a trail of blackened smoke.

This poem is predictable

repetitive, I'm sure.

Dear readers, criticize it:

sharpen your words to hurt.

I just want to leave

when I read your words of hate

run out of my home and

not even latch the gate

But you taught me what love is

you taught me how to live

and when you stripped me all away

you then began to give.

Don't act all romantic

I'm just an ordinary guy

but with your words buried in my flesh

I used to want to die.

But you gave a second chance

you pulled me from the mud

you showed me what love is

and you showed me that it's good.

Can I love you forever?

Can I erase the pain?

Can we press 'delete'

on each and every sickly blood stain?

I've read every single one

not a word goes missed

Their meaning pierced my heart

and made me hate me when we kissed.

I am sorry, Ashelin,

and I have so many regrets,

but with your help, and some from God,

we'll do life good, I bet.