Cycle

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It's a cycle,

Of never ending confusion,

Why do you change your mood?

As easily as a human being can walk?

As fast as I could talk?

As long or short as I can laugh?

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Randomly, it seems,

Just to come at me,

Grasping body,

Containing my emotions,

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Until I can see,

That the cycle's coming again,

Then I realize it's only for me…

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There's phases to this cycle that only happens to me

One:

Sweet and innocent,

Two:

Nice and kind,

Three:

Slowly getting less patient,

Four:

Lash-out,

Five:

Repeat phase four several times…

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It goes roughly,

Something like that,

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The phases vary lengths of time,

I count the days,

And it's never been the same,

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When I realize,

That it's at the beginning again,

At first,

I am completely joyous,

But, now I've learned,

It's only the shortest stage in this cycle for me,

I just anticipate the next one,

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Who knows when it'll take place?

Maybe it'll have one less,

One more,

Or the same,

Who knows?

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I ask myself,

"Why was this designed for me?",

"Do I deserve this?"

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Neverending,

Keeps on going,

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I wish for it to stop,

But it never seems to come true,

I would give up anything to keep me from it happening again,

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There's no use,

I just have to endure it,

One phase,
At a time.