My eyes scan down the screen
reading tiny black letters
(name) – gone
(name) – gone
(name) – gone
and then there's mine
at the bottom of the list
Danielle – preoccupied
My eyes are welling
I'm trying not to cry
.I.will.not.I.will.not.I.will.not.
I read more and more
and then I see the date under
an old one
and it's my birthday
and I have to keep chanting
.I.WILL.NOT.CRY.I.WILL.NOT.CRY.I.WILL.NOT.CRY.
but it's so hard to realize
I'm killing my best friend.

And she can't even think of herself as my best anymore.