I dial your number nervously...
wondering, will it sound desperate if I call you now?
I put the phone to my ear and wait for it to start ringing.
You answer
and I answer back
wondering if I'll have to tell you some things you shouldn't know.
It's been a long time since I last heard your voice.
It's kind of soothing, almost.
I reach up the back of my shirt to scratch between my shoulder blades
like I always do when I'm nervous and realize
there's a thin coat of sweat on my skin.
We talk for twenty-one minutes
and then it ends
suddenly, unexpectedly
when you hang up on me.
For a second, I just listen to the flat beep beep beep
and then I realize...
I'm smiling.