What is Eternity?

It's meant to be attractive, everlasting, a dream of man to be able to live forever. Eternity means living through the ages, surpassing father time and feeling unthreatened by a future that is no longer vague.

Eternity means cheating hours, minutes and seconds, watching everything around you fall into decadence, becoming nothing more than mere memories, shells of what they once were and experiencing an absolute invincibility in the face of all that has become ancient, aged and antique.

Eternity means being young forever, having years trickle past as if they were mere minutes and possessing the knowledge that many, many more are yet to come.

Eternity means all of that. But it's all wrong….so completely wrong.

Eternal life repulses me and I'll admit that I was tricked into it. I once thought it was magnificent to have so much time ahead of me and I gave in to this ideal when I let gleaming fangs pierce my skin and take my blood. But I was a foolish, susceptible young man. I feared death and I wished to gain everlasting life, and it mattered not if I lacked heartbeat and resistance to daylight, and little did I care about sacrificing humans for my own benefit in order to satisfy my hunger.

Eternity is a lie and I myself feel utterly deceived by he who calls himself my creator. Night after night of bloody feasts no longer satiate me, the beauty of the moon no longer awes me and the gift of eternity no longer attracts me. Snatching the lives innocent people in order to continue in this selfish immortality claws at my mind and disturbs my sleep. Wandering the streets unable to experience again the light of day causes me such unimaginable pain.

I don't want this anymore. I'm like a thief, my cruel fangs rob the souls of those who walk this earth with limited lives…my cold hands draw them into a fatal embrace with the intention of draining the scarlet nectar that pumps through their bodies with a beat that speaks to me, pulling me in once again towards the promise of a life without death…

But eternity means nothing. It's obscure, it's pointless, it's cowardice and it's tiring…I feel trapped in this supposed freedom, trying to escape this escape, wanting to leave what I have left to live….

What's the point of darkness and being unable to feel the soft kiss of the sun on my skin? I do not wish to remain eternal, yet I feel so frustrated, not having any courage or valour…feeling too afraid to DIE. I have struggled long and hard with a conscience of six hundred years…eternity or death?

Death…

Death, how beautiful it sounds, how comforting, how final. Yes, death…rest at last. And I miss the daylight, I miss the warmth of the sun. Ah…the sun, that bright burning star that is so deadly to us.

I think I'd like to see it.