I do not own the song lyrics Hanging by a Moment, Lifehouse does. I also do not own the lyrics to Blood Empty Promises, Papa Roach does.

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My cell phone vibrated in my pocket as I was sitting in class. Daddy's Work Cell is what the caller idea displayed. I rolled my eyes and wonder why he was calling me in the middle of the school day. I shoved my phone back into my pocket and waited for the vibrating to end and the single vibrate in let me know that I had a voicemail. I raised my hand when it came.

"Ms. Phillips, may I please use the bathroom?" I desperately wanted to know what was so urgent that he couldn't wait to call me until school was over.

"Sarah. It's dad. It's like 1:15; give me a call around 6:30 alright. Bye." Oh joy. He's mad about something or other. This wasn't going to be a fun phone call

As I walked back into class I thought 'What was wrong with him, couldn't he just call me AT 6:15, instead of calling me to call him? Of course not, it's my father, he likes to be difficult.'

When I got home, I walked into the kitchen, dropped my stuff and called for my mom.

"Hey Mom, guess who called me today," I paused, "Daddy did, he didn't sound very happy".

She looked at me and said "Well, I called him this morning and got Martha instead. I told her it was a little unfair to tell you that you either had to miss school or miss the wedding, we had a small argument." I thought back to the past weekend when my dad had said that. She continued "After I got off the phone with her, your father called and wanted to know what gave me the right to call Martha and yell at her like that. I told him, flat out, that you didn't want to miss school to go. I told him that I would bring you all the way to his house Friday after school."

My parents didn't get along and ever since I was little I was put into the middle of their arguments. I knew by now that a small argument between my parents meant that they blew up at each other. I couldn't wait for this phone call with my father.

When 6:30 rolled around, I picked up my phone and dialed his number.

"Hi Daddy" I whispered into the phone.

"Hi" he sounded super mad; I haven't heard him this mad in a very long time.

He started yelling "What is wrong with you Sarah, what's missing just one day of school? Huh? What's the big deal? You were all excited about this wedding when you were here just three days ago. Then you go home and it's suddenly a different story. What do you have to say?"

I didn't have a single thing to say. I couldn't speak; I had tears streaming down my face. When I didn't say anything he kept going. "Do you not want to go to my wedding? Is that it? Are you mad because I'm not marrying your mother? Huh? What's the deal?"

"I don't know" I whispered into the phone. "I don't know".

"YOU DON'T KNOW? YOU DON'T KNOW?! How do you not know? It's your head, how do you not know?" then I heard Martha in the background telling him to calm down. "No, I won't calm down, she's my daughter, I can talk to her this way" he paused. "You know, I didn't expect this from you. I expected way better. I thought this behavior would be coming from your brother. I would have never thought I would have gotten this attitude from you. Never. You disappointed me. Come on, say something.

I was silently sobbing, I couldn't speak. Why was he doing this to me?

"I'll tell you one thing, if you don't come to this wedding, don't expect to see me or your sister at your recital and I will NOT being coming to get you to see your sister this summer. You don't want to come to my wedding, that's fine, but you can forget everyone down here. You can forget about it all. You can be the one to explain to your grandmother why you're not coming, you can explain to Molly why you aren't here. You better think long and heard about whether or not you want to be here."

I finally mustered up enough air to say something. "You know what Daddy, it's kind of hard for me to be some where if I'm DEAD!" and I hung up. I threw my phone on the floor and curled up into a little ball on my bed, shaking and sobbing.

My ring tone blared "I'm living for the only thing I know, I'm running and I'm not quite sure where to go, and I don't know what I'm diving into, just hanging by a moment here with you." It was my dad; I wasn't going to answer it. I never wanted to talk to him again. How could he do this to me? How could he even think about taking my little sister away from me? What kind of parent does that?

The land line rang and I heard my mom answer it. My dad must have said something to make my mom even angrier than she was this morning.

"What are you thinking saying all of that to her? Did you want to hurt her? Did you want to put her through hell?" she was livid.

I shot up from my bed and ran into the kitchen shouting "NO! NO! STOP YELLING! NO PLEASE NO! HE WON'T LET ME SEE MOLLY IF YOU YELL! HANG UP! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I tired to grab the phone out of her hand but she turned away.

"You threatened to not let her see her sister anymore? What is wrong with your head? You know Molly, Bella and James is all she cares about! You sick bastard I hope you rot in hell. I wouldn't be surprised if she never wanted to see you again." And she hung up.

I rocked back and forth and repeated the same thing "How could he do this to me? Does he want to hurt me? How could he do this to me? Does he want to hurt me? How could he do this to me? Does he want to hurt me?"

My stomach felt sick. Sick like I was going to throw up sick. My dad has made me this upset before. It's kind of sad, I know. I forced myself up from the floor and made my way into the bathroom and collapsed on the floor. I was still bawling uncontrollably and all of a sudden my stomach wretched and my dinner came out. It kept coming up, I couldn't stop it. It wouldn't stop. I didn't stop throwing up until all that I had eaten was in the toilet. I flushed it and backed into the tub with my knees pulled against my chest and I out my head on my knees.

"Steady breathing, steady, steady. In, out, in, out." Went through my head, until my crying stopped and I was breathing somewhat normally. I walked out of the bathroom and into my room. I slammed the door behind me, causing the house to shake.

I grabbed my iPod from my backpack and put Blood Empty Promises by Papa Roach. I pulled my razor blade out of my pocket, a habit I had picked up from Michael, and I pulled up my sleeve. I slowly dragged it once, just once, across my wrists next to the other cuts. Fresh cuts, healing cuts, healed scars and fading cuts. It was a tally sheet on my wrists. It had been there since I was twelve and every time my dad had let me down, lied to me, hurt me, caused me any pain at all or broke a promise, I added a new tally.

I will forgive but I won't forget
And I hope you know you've lost my respect

You better watch out
If you don't know what's going on around you
You better think twice
Before you fly off the handle and lose it
You better join us
Before you get lost in the shuffle
You better rise against
The demons that are gonna try and hold you down

Does it run in your blood to betray the ones you love?
Does it run in your blood to betray the ones you love?
The ones you love, the ones you love, the ones you love

Cause I'm not a pawn for you to play in your fucking game
I've got dignity and a dream that I want to achieve
The pressure, your troubled and you let me down
I'm not deaf and all I hear are your empty promises