What do I write? How could it be my mind is a complete blank? Notice how the times you have the most to say is when you're most quiet. Like I've had plenty of times when I've wanted to tell a boy I liked him or how I wanted to jump him but would refrain from doing so. Sure it'd be creepy and the boy would never want to talk to me ever again but that wasn't the point. I hate words. And yet, here I am speaking them…thinking them…and writing them. UGH! I wish words would just go away. They make things so complicated. That's why I like sign language. No not the standard stuff because that's just words in a different form. I mean I wish I could look into someone's eyes and tell them through that how I felt. Then maybe I could muster up enough courage to tell the boy I'm in love with that I love him. But of course instead of writing that love note I'm sitting here writing a plea for help that someone would erase words from man kind.
Then there's the whole problem of misunderstanding. I mean I could tell you one thing and you could take it as another. I could say, "Let's do it!" and some people would think I'm referring to sex. Come on! Things are just so complicated. And people believe almost all the words out there. Someone would say I was pregnant and half the school would believe it without even confirming it. So to say the least, words sucked. And yet I just can't stop using them. Nobody can and that's the problem.
Could you imagine a world with no words…people expressing themselves through music (just instruments) or artwork? And everyone speaks through their eyes. The world would be a much better place. But that of course would never happen. I also hate fakers…they pretend they like you when they really don't. What's the matter with just admitting you hate someone? I'm being a huge hypocrite right now considering I don't take my own advice but it wasn't right or nice to tell someone you don't like them. Instead you call them a bitch. How pointless is that right? Just say "I don't like you" and get on with your life. But sadly life didn't work like that.
Suddenly, and IM popped up onto my screen and I saw who it was from. Derek. My best friend. The hottie no one knew at school. And the love of my life. I gulped.
D-Man: Hey! You on?
S-Girl: Now I am. What's up?
D-Man: lol. Well I kinda got a lot on my mind.
S-Girl: Like what?
I don't think I liked where this conversation was going. I mean he seemed really serious and he only was that serious when something big was on his mind.
D-Man: It's this girl. I can't get her off my mind.
Tears welled up in my eyes.
D-Man: Yeah, I think I'm in love with her. What do I do? Do I tell her or do I not say anything at all?
See…words. They ruined everything. Especially my plans of Derek and I getting together. I figured it would never happen but this just made things all the more hurtful. Words. I wish they were murdered. Those seven little words broke my heart.
S-Girl: I think you should tell her. I mean you'll regret it if you never do…like I have.
D-Man: What do you mean like I have? Are you ok?
S-Girl: It means nothing. So, are you going to tell her or not?
D-Man: Yeah…I think I will. Thanks Sarah!
S-Girl: No problem D.
D-Man: Hey Sarah?
D-Man: I think I'm in love with you.
Just as quickly as my heart was broken…it mended itself back together. I still hate words with a passion. But I loved those seven ones.
S-Girl: I think I'm in love with you too.
-D-Man has signed off at 8:24 pm-
That was weird. He usually said goodbye. Although there have been times when his mom kicked him off the computer in the middle of a conversation. I shrugged my shoulders and signed off before closing my Microsoft Word page and turning off the computer. Tomorrow would be a much better day.
I walked into school and walked as quickly as I could to my locker. That's where I met Derek in the morning. When I arrived he was already standing there…but he wasn't smiling like I was. He looked distraught.
"Hi Derek," I said almost giggling. He scratched the back of his head and sighed. Oh god. This was going to be bad.
"Hey Sarah. We need to talk," he said motioning to the bench across the hall. I furrowed my eyebrows and followed him over to the bench. He didn't look at me. That meant something right? "Do you love me?"
"Yeah. We talked about this last night," I said with a shrug. He ran his hands through his hair and finally looked at me.
"No we didn't. That was Brad who you were talking to. Not me."
"You mean quarterback Brad?"
"Yeah. He came over last night since we were lab partners and he said he needed to research stuff for another class. I guess he logged onto my account and messaged you." My heart pounded in my chest and I thought it was about to explode. "He told me you loved me but I didn't believe him until he showed me the conversation. I know it was a real jerk thing to do."
"So, you don't love me?" I said choking on the tears about to spill out.
"NO! FORGET IT! You know, I bet you were apart of it too and everything you're telling me is complete bullshit! You're just like them aren't you?"
"SARAH! I swear it wasn't me. Why would I do that?" he said flailing his arms around. But I didn't care. By this time the tears started to spill out.
"Don't lie to me!" I screamed. By this time we had caught everyone's attention. He looked at me for a few seconds before grabbing my face and pulling my head to his. And then our lips touched.
"Sarah, I would never lie to you like that. I would never hurt you like that. Because…because I love you."
Sadly, all of that never even happened. It's what I wrote. And yet, you believed every word of it. Didn't you? How could you not? Words are like facts. You believe them even though they may not even be true. I hate words. And yet, here I am speaking them…thinking them…and writing them.
A/N: Well, I was bored last night. I wanted to write but didn't know what to write. So Natalie told me to just start writing. And I did and this is the outcome. I thought it was interesting and I figured I'd post it up to see what people think. Hope you like it.