colors on the driveway

it's awfully hard to forget something at one
point so beautiful to one's soul…the smiles
that were coated in chalk dust from our lovely
pictures on the driveway next to our towels
that we took out to warm ourselves from the pool…

…but the smiles all left when you started to feel sick.

"does 's' stand for shit head?" my father asked you
as you stood up so full of (fake) strength with the super-
man symbol on your shirt to back up your point.

no, it just gave daddy an opportunity to point out
your stupidity as you slumped back down in pain.
i wanted to help you but i didn't know how.

"let's pray." i thought you were really spiritual
but from the way you laughed, i knew that what i said
sounded really stupid.

too late.

i had to follow through and pretend i didn't know
that it was beyond a bad idea…i had to stop acting
like i was completely unsure of myself.

(even though i was.)

but after holding your hand helplessly in mine
for a few minutes as you sat next to me, you suddenly
ran outside.

and your nausea ran through all of our chalk pictures
and pretty colors of our imagination.

that's the story of our relationship:

pretty colors sketched in chalk from overactive
imaginations washed away by waves of nausea
and colors that are not as calm as the blue dust.

some things are never meant to be.