Author's Note: I'm sooo sad for my first story on Fiction Press to be done! But sadly, it is finished. Here is chapter twenty and the epilogue follows it. These characters have become like real people to me and were very entertaining to daydream about while I was supposed to be working! I will miss writing this story and I hope you all enjoyed it. Please read and review! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE for reading and especially the ones who never missed a chapter and always gave me awesome reviews. I really appreciate it. Thanks again!

Katie :-)

Chapter Twenty

This was the moment when alcohol was bad. Just plain, old bad. I was defensive, confrontational. I gave Connor hell.

My mom followed me to the bathroom in our house and dabbed my tears for me as she asked if I was okay.

I choked back on tears as I replied with, "Not really."

My mom kissed my cheek and sincerely said, "I'm sorry." She gave me a little hug.

"Mom, what was my big surprise?" I got the courage to ask her as I stared at my ruined makeup in the mirror.

My mom frowned. She shook her head swiftly. "Honey, the surprise was Connor. He called me this week, telling me he broke up with Ashley. I think he wanted to get back together with you. He kept telling me he still carries strong feelings for you."

"Now you tell me? What if he doesn't want to get back together with me now?" Jeez, it would have been a smoother night had my mom not withheld that information.

"Honey, it's not too late. You can try to see how he feels. I know you still love him. You need to tell him how you feel."

"I'm not sure if it will matter now," I blew my side swept bangs away from my forehead and leaned against the bathroom sink. I felt like punching myself in the head for acting like a maniac back there. But how was I supposed to react to Connor's sudden admiration for me? When all I ever knew was how he was going to marry Ashley? How was I even to know he wanted me back? Or that he still loved me? For all I knew, Connor was just desperate for company or possibly he didn't want to be alone.

I had dreamed about this moment finally happening. Now, I knew there was no hope. Connor told me on the dance floor he never wanted to hurt me again and he would leave me alone forever now. Knowing this was enough to open the floodgates once more, the tears streaming down my cheeks, creating perfect little lines. Jade and Olivia knocked on the bathroom door and my mom let them in.

"Sweetie, I'm going to tell your dad that you're okay. He's worried about you," My mom said.

"Okay," I told her grabbing a new tissue as she left and my friends hugged me.

"I can't believe how you yelled at him! He totally deserved it Marissa. You're right, you're not sloppy seconds," Jade told me patting my back.

"But my mom told me he wants to get back together possibly. Now I totally screwed it up. We're over again. Forever."

"Don't say that," Olivia fixed my hair for me. "He may have been drunk, but he cares so much about you."

"I don't know Olivia. I'm worried! I'm worried the only reason he would come back is because he feels guilt or that he just needs someone because he's afraid to be lonely."

"No, that's not true. Connor would never just be with you just because," Jade said, comforting me. I nodded my head, still infuriated with myself. Infuriated with the whole evening.

The next day, I woke up with a throbbing headache. I took two Excedrin and immediately got into the shower. When I was out with a towel wrapped securely around my body and head, I couldn't get Connor out of my mind. I just saw those sad eyes looking into mine when he told me how he thought I could do better than him. How could he say that? He was the best father. He was always so funny, sweet, caring. He was constantly there for me when we were married. Sure, we had those tough times, but we could've gotten through it if Connor didn't want a divorce so soon; he gave up too easily. We still could have been married all this time! I just wanted him to see that.

But then I realized how drunk he was and how that could have been one of the reasons he was so open about his feelings. I worried if I tried to communicate about it now he would just shut me out of his life, completely and for good. I hated how this whole issue made me anxious. I needed to discuss this with Connor, even if I wouldn't get a good reception from him.

I got dressed into one of my favorite tops and paired it with my good butt jeans; the ones that are dark washed and have the butt pockets. I blow dried my hair and styled it, then put some makeup on. It was just around ten on Sunday morning and I was ready to call Connor. I grabbed my cell phone and called his place. When he didn't pick up, I felt a little relieved, but also antsy. Was he ignoring me now? I hoped not. I needed to get everything off my chest soon.

I decided not to call him the rest of the day. Even if I was going crazy inside, I didn't want to come off desperate. No way. I watched some TV. I tried to read a book. My mind was going a mile a minute and all I saw was Connor, how good he looked last night, how bad it all ended, just like our marriage had ended bad. I didn't want to fight with him. I never wanted that. I just wanted to know his motives. And how could he blame me? After our kiss he stayed together with Ashley for two more months.

I was sick of watching the clock change by the hours, so I got up and told my mom and dad I needed to take a drive. Gracie stayed with my mom as they put together a Winnie the Pooh puzzle on the nook table. My daughter waved happily goodbye to me saying, "Go find daddy!" My mom must have told her I was going to talk to him. I gave her a big kiss and couldn't help smiling as I strode off with big steps toward my car.

But when I got to my car and started it up, my smiled vanished as I drove in silence. It was creepy having my thoughts whizzing through my brain without music, so I put my iPod on, not surprised when "Green eyes" played. I let out a tense laugh, my hands strong on the wheel. I said it before and I'll say it again; life worked in mysterious ways that's for sure. I pulled into my old apartment complex where Connor still resided. I inhaled through my nose and exhaled through my mouth, though not seeming to calm my nerves. I opened my door, slammed it and walked slowly up the stairs to Connor's place, repeating in my head all that I wanted to say. I love you. I'm sorry I snapped at you last night. I want to be back together, if you will have me. I think you were the best husband. Give us another chance. Please.

But when I got to his door and I knocked a few times, it went unanswered. I couldn't hear a sound from behind the walls. I looked at my cell phone in my purse. It was just after six, dinner time. I wondered if he went out to get something to eat. Not expecting to do this, I pounded my fist once more on his door and leaned against it. I fought back crying, but of course, they poured down, making me feel weak. The tears felt salty as they found their way to my lips. I wiped them away, covering my eyes as I slid down the door and sat against it on the ground, sobbing to myself. I thought back. I had to think back to the day I first saw Connor. He was so handsome, yet he managed to be even more handsome today. Back then I believed in love at first sight, because when I first saw him, I was in love. Instantly. However, the connection still remained.

Connor didn't know just how much he meant to me, how much I loved him then and how much more I loved him now! I just wanted to shout it to him, let the whole world know that I loved Connor Nichols. He was the one for me, the only one for me. It wasn't over! We had our struggles that was true; married at our innocent ages, our baby we made out of love, the late night feedings, him stumbling in our place, drunk and unhappy. Now I knew It was all meant to happen. The divorce happened because we had to realize just even more how much we were meant for each other. The entire thing, it all made me stronger. I forced myself to move on with Miles, he found Ashley. It all led us back to each other. At least, that's what I hoped.

I felt defenseless as I stood up from his door and walked desolately down the second floor steps and back to my car, sniffling as I drove away. There was only one place I wanted to go to now, and I had to get there fast. Something inside my heart told me I needed to be there now more than ever. I had to get to Starbucks.

I parked in front of the same building I met Connor at. I remembered his amazing smile, his navy blue eyes checking me out. I was going to go to college. I was going to be a big time writer. I was going to fall in love at a much older age.

I laughed in spite of it all and walked into the Starbucks. I went up to the counter. I swallowed hard as I quivered gently, "Tall mocha. Extra shot of mocha. Name is Marissa." The girl behind the counter with a name tag that read Mindy gave me an odd look as she accepted my ten dollar bill. Her eyes glanced behind my body and I assumed she was looking to the next costumer, waiting for me to leave as I took my time putting the change in my wallet, shoving it in my purse.

"Hey, I order the exact same thing."

My heart pounded loudly in my chest and I closed my eyes. My legs wobbled as they struggled to find their balance. I had been shaky all day, no desire to eat. I gasped for air. For a second there I thought I heard Connor's voice.

"Actually, I think I'll have a caramel frappuccino instead," the voice chuckled in that deep, throaty laugh that always seemed to make me laugh. Now, I knew for sure I heard Connor's voice. Tears rolled down my cheeks again, and I didn't bother to wipe them away. My frown turned into the biggest, obnoxious grin, when I turned and saw him standing behind me. Talk about déjà vu. Though we were in reverse roles now, me being the conservative one; and Connor being me; the outgoing, carefree one.

"Wait, I only order that on Sundays. Isn't that what you told me?" Connor's arms were folded over his chest and he was grinning at me in satisfaction.

I tried to speak, but my mouth was dry like I had cottonmouth. I gaped open my lips and said breathlessly, "It was a lie. I never ordered that drink until we were over." I looked at the ground, staring at the pink Rainbow flip flops I snuck out of Miles' place. Connor's feet were in his Vans sneakers. His dark jeans were the right fit, not too tight, not too loose. His hair was as short as that first run in at Starbucks. His wide, playful grin now dropped from his face, his eyes grew serious and he looked worried.

"Marissa," He called my name, making my heart pulsate quicker.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"How did we get to this place?"

"Starbucks?" I asked stupidly.

Connor shook his head, a small laugh exiting his mouth. His eyes met mine as he said, "Here. You know, the baby, the divorce. And yet…" His voice trailed off.

"Yet what?" I begged him to continue.

"Yet, I still love you. I never stopped loving you."

"Excuse me!" Came the rude voice from a costumer next to us. We were in the way of the line. I had to giggle a little when Connor put up a defensive hand and argued with the lady, telling her, "I'm pouring my heart out here."

We moved our location to a rickety table with two chairs. I sat down across from Connor as he smiled at me again. His face had a five o'clock shadow, but I liked the gruffly look with his casual apparel, the plain royal blue t-shirt he donned showing off his just right built arms; tan and lean. His hands rested on the little table, and I had my clammy hands in my lap, my stomach turning in ever so twisting knots.

"Marissa," He reached his hands across the table and I let him take mine into his, even if they were clammy and disgusting, he didn't notice.

"It's weird," I disrupted him from starting his speech.

Connor's eyebrows furrowed. "What's weird?"

"How I just happened to instinctively drive here. Like I knew you would be here. How come you're here?" I asked him.

"I've been here all day, just thinking about everything. You know that day you lost our baby?"

I nodded my head, swallowing hard, but we were interrupted when Mindy said my coffee was ready. Connor got it for me, placing it in front of me. I took a small sip, appreciating the liquid coming into contact with my dry mouth.

"Where was I?" Connor asked me, looking off into space, trying to regain his thoughts. "Oh, right, that day…I saw you all helpless in the hospital bed, you were so sad. I hated that I did that to you. That I could cause such hurt. I wanted you to know that I always felt so much guilt when we slit up because I still wanted to be with you. I ended it because I treated you awful when we were married. You always took care of me and Gracie and I just didn't give enough back. Not enough love, nothing."

"Don't say that," I demanded. "You were an amazing provider. I just think that, we were so young, we didn't really know what we wanted out of life completely yet, we were just starting our adults lives and having so much so soon-"

"Took it's toll," Connor ended for me.

"Mm hmm. I don't hate you for it anymore," I announced.

"Well, gee, thanks. That makes me feel loads better," Connor chuckled to himself.

"No, what I mean is, after we split I hated you for changing everything. I just wanted to stay together, I wanted to be a family with Gracie."

"We can still have that," Connor said hopefully.

"Connor, I don't know…" I shook my head. "I don't know if you want me or if you feel guilty or don't want to be alone."

"Marissa, remember what I told you at the party last night?"

I nodded my head.

"I told you I wanted someone better to take my place. I never felt worthy of you. When Miles came along, I for sure thought we were over forever."

"You signed divorce papers!" I countered.

"Yes, but I was confused. I never really wanted it, I just thought I was causing too much strife."

"Never."

"I forced myself to move on when you did."

"What?" I asked, my hand holding onto my coffee, making my hand extremely warm.

"Ashley. I didn't really want to date her. I felt like I needed to do what you did, date someone else, but I never really loved Ashley."

"I never really loved Miles. At least not enough," I admitted to him.

Connor gave me a sad smile, drumming his fingers on the table. "You know how silly this whole thing was? We should have just told each other how we really felt."

"You just seemed so adamant about a divorce."

"I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't want to end up like my parents. Now I realize how foolish that was. Just because they're like that, doesn't mean we would be."

"Exactly," I agreed with him.

"God, I screwed up."

"Yes, you did," I teased him. "So, you've been here all day?" I asked him.

"Yep. I wanted to think about everything. I was hoping you would show up here, when you did, I knew what I had to do. It's fate that brought us together and fate that brought you back here today."

"What do you have to do?" I asked him.

"I have to be with you again Marissa. God, don't you realize how much I love you?" He asked me.
"Actually, no," I let out a small laugh. All this time, I thought he didn't love me. I thought he moved on from me. Now I knew all along he was dying inside as much as I was. We were fooling ourselves thinking we could move on from each other. We knew where our hearts were and where they belonged. To each other.

"Please, Marissa." Connor got down on his knees and practically crawled to my side. People around us started to stare, a group of teenagers on a sofa laughed a little and whispered to each other. An elderly lady winked and smiled at me.

"Connor?" I asked, a little surprised by his behavior.

"Marissa, I need you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I can't let you go again. I couldn't bare to see another man hold you again. You're the only one for me. I love you so, so much," Connor looked as though he could cry at any moment. He kissed my hands as if I were a queen. I felt myself blush in front of our Starbucks audience, the tears once more invading my eyes. I wondered if I could ever stop crying. I was like an endless well.

"Oh Connor, you don't know how much that means to me. I love you so much."

"Then, marry me. Again. Don't say no. I couldn't live without you." Connor's eyes now stirred up tears.

"Yes," I whispered, letting Connor kiss my hand again. Connor stood up and I stood up as well. He got a firm grasp on my lower back, pulling me close to his body. He kissed me passionately, running his hands through my hair as he did so. People around us started to clap. I felt like I was in the ending of a romantic comedy. But it wasn't over, not even close.

Our romance started in a Starbucks and we reunited in a Starbucks. Who knew? Maybe we could even possibly die at an old age at Starbucks-though highly unlikely-with our hair all grey and our children and grandkids grown up. I kissed Connor deeply again, making up for all that lost time. He held me close as we exited the coffee house, our arms around each other's waists, our faces in enormous smiles.