It's Saturday night. Minerva Denski is out on the town, doing the Bar Scene, and she's looking for action. This is a cautionary tale.
This story contains sexual activity and suggestive language. I'm giving it a T rating.
The lyrics to the song, "Hernando's Hideaway" were written by Frank Loesser, for the Musical Comedy "Pajama Game", which was produced on Broadway in the 1950's. The lyrics to the song "Ask Me How Do I Feel" were also written by Frank Loesser, for the Broadway Show "Guys and Dolls" which was produced in the late 1940's. I'm not sure, but after all these years, the songs might be in Public Domain.
Minerva Denski sat alone at a cocktail table, with a martini in front of her. That was the third one she'd had tonight. This was Saturday night, and the blonde, 28 year old Researcher had left her lab coat at work.
Tonight the weather was hot, and so was Minerva Denski. She wore a low cut dress that revealed her cleavage, her bare shoulders, bare back, and most of her legs. That was getting the attention she'd hoped for, from some of the guys who were seated at the bar.
She didn't recognize any of them. That was a plus for tonight.
The name of the dimly lit establishment was "Hernando's Hideaway", just like the title of that old Show tune. She'd actually appeared in her High School production of the Musical, "Pajama Game", and she remembered the song's lyrics.
"I know a dark, secluded place.
A place where no one knows your face.
A glass of wine, a fast embrace,
That's called 'Hernando's Hideaway.
"Just knock three times, and whisper low,
That you and I were sent by Joe.
Then strike a match, and then you'll know,
You're in Hernando's Hideaway.
That's what I'm here for. Minerva Denski thought. "A glass of wine, a fast(?) embrace."
The embrace doesn't have to be all that fast. She wondered, "A quickie"? A "Wham-bam thank you ma'am?" I hope not. Whoever whams and bams with me can take all the time he wants; but it would also be nice if he says "Thank you ma'am".
She remembered more of the lyrics.
"You will be free,
To gaze at me,
And talk of lo-ove."
I've come here to do more than be gazed at, and more than just talk! Forget about love! I'm one horny gal who just wants to get laid! Nothing more!
I'm actually doing this? I don't feel nervous about it? I've come out alone tonight, to pick up some dude, who I'll have a noncommittal, recreational sexual encounter with? It's never been this way before. Sex has never been only recreational for me. Except...
Except when I was in high school, and just that one time, when the captain of the football team laid me in his backseat, on the night of his birthday. That was my birthday present to him, and I was glad to let him have it. I still am. But that was all it was. We'd both understood that.
He'd gone on to lay other girls, as you'd expect. That didn't bother me. I'd gone on to a steady boyfriend. When my steady boyfriend laid another girl, I didn't expect that. It did bother me, and it still does!
But that was twelve very long years ago. Now both my former one time lay, and my former steady boyfriend are married family men. The other girls they laid are now married women with families. I on the other hand, remain unmarried, unfulfilled and horny, and expect to remain that way.
I know I'm not gonna meet any Mr. Committed Relationship in here. Tonight, any good looking hunk, of noncommittal male meat, is all I want.
Now two guys at the bar are looking at me. They've got their heads together, and they're leering. They're saying something about me.
They're probably sayings, "How'd you like to shove it into her?"
My question is this. Would I like to have either one of them, shoved inside of me? Let's see. Well, the sight of guy on the left doesn't make me want to throw up, but he doesn't thrill me either. So, I'll give him a shot, and see if he does thrill me.
I'm smiling at that guy on the left, and giving him a little wink, and beckoning tilt of the head. I can't believe how calm I'm feeling. It's probably those three martinis. No nervousness after that.
He's got the message! He's got off his barstool and he's coming over! I do not feel like throwing up. I feel really good about this.
The guy came over and stood beside the cocktail table, with a margarita in his hand and a smile on his face. He had dark hair, and was in his mid-twenties.
"Hi." He told her, "My name's David. May I join you?"
"Good evening Dave." She smiled seductively. "I'm Minerva. People call me Minnie. I'd love to--have you--join me." She spoke with a sultry voice. "I'm sure that you and I, will make--a good--couple."
Now those were real smooth double entendres. She thought, I'm actually being seductive, and sultry, and it feels so effortless.
He seated himself on her right, at the tiny table, pressing his left leg against her right. She pressed her right leg back against his left, and smiled at him while he smiled back.
He asked, "'Minnie'?"
"Well my name is Minerva. Some people call me 'Minnie Mouse'. Other's call me 'mousey'. I hate them both."
Then he asked, "What would you want me to call you?"
She "Minnie'll do, as long as you don't make any mouse jokes."
"Mi-nirv-a?" He said, ".'Nervie'? How'd you like it, if I call you "Nervie'"
"Why Dave." She laughed, "That's so much better."
She reached under the table, and put her right hand on his left leg, just above the knee.
She said, "As a matter of fact, on one Internet website, I actually use the pen name 'Minerveegirl.
"'Minerveegirl'?" He told her, "I like that. It sure fits you."
He put his hand on her leg and gave it a firm squeeze.
Then he asked, "Pen name? Like a writer?"
"That's right." She told him, "I write fanfiction on the Internet. My stories are posted on fanfiction .net."
"What do you know!" He told her, "So are mine! My pen name's MrDavidK. This is the first time I've ever met another member. I'm so glad to meet you."
She smiled seductively again.
Then she asked, "What kind of fanfics do you write?"
"I've posted a few 'Law and Order' stories. They're not all that difficult. It's all the same plot formula."
"'Beverly Hills 90210' stories here."
"Minerveegirl" wasn't sure what to say next. She picked up her martini and took a sip. Then she crossed her legs, softly pressing his hand between both of them, while moving her hand up his leg.
"Minerveegirl." Dave said, "You don't like to waste time, do you?"
She stopped moving her hand.
"Actually," she told him, "I've never done this before. Until tonight, I've never been a skanky slut."
He pulled his hand out from between her crossed legs.
"No. Don't stop." She uncrossed her legs, and gripped his fingers softly. "I'm really enjoying every minute of this."
She put his hand back on her leg. "And I like feeling your hand there."
She pulled his hand back further along her leg, and drew it all the way up under her skirt.
"I like the way it feels there even more." She told him, "And I'd like it even more than that, if you do whatever you want with your hand."
She felt him do something. Then she purred. "Now I really like that. Just keep on doing it."
He did as she asked.
"Now where was I? Oh yes." She spoke with a purring voice. "Tonight is the very first time that I've ever come into a bar alone, looking to pick up a guy, so I could fuck him for a one night stand."
"You mean this is a one time fling?" He smiled, "That makes me one lucky guy."
She laughed and continued to purr. "You better believe it mister. Until now, sex for me has always been within a committed relationship. I've never been slutty like this."
"Well there were a few times in high school. Once when I was 15, but then I wasn't alone. Me and three other girls went out cruising for studs. We met some guys who we didn't know. Then we got drunk and got laid. Then we got away with it, and I've never had any regrets.
"Then there was the captain of the football team, on his birthday. Of course I was a cheerleader, so that was kind of expected, and I've never regretted that.
"Now I'm older, I've come here alone, and I don't expect to be regretting any of this either."
He pulled his hand out from inside her skirt, and put his arms around her. They put their mouths together, and begin kissing heavily, pressing their tongues together while holding each other tight.
He whispered in her ear. "I want to fuck you now."
"Good." She whispered, "I'm ready. I've rented a room for the night, at the motel down the street. Let's get going."
"Everything planned in advance?"
"Sure. I'm following some advice that I got from one of the gals at Nocturna Corp. where I work."
Dave hesitated. Then he drew back, with his arms still around her.
She said, "What's the problem?"
"You work for Nocturna Corp? Isn't that the Company that employs vampires?"
"That's right. We provide jobs, goods and services to the undead."
"Does that include you?"
"That's okay Dave." She chuckled. "I'm not a vampire. Vampires are cold to the touch, but I'm very hot, aren't I."
"You do feel kind of cool," he smiled, "but I'd like to help warm you up."
"So you do still want to fuck me, don't you?"
"Sure I do. You just threw me off for a moment."
They both finished their cocktails quickly. Then they stood up. Minerva picked up her handbag, and they left the Club together.
The two of them headed on down the street toward the motel, with their arms around each other.
She began to sing with a slurred, laughing tone. The song was from another Musical, that she'd appeared in, back in high school.
"Ask me how do I feel,
Ask me now that we're Fondly caressing!
Well if I was a salad,
I know I'd be splashing My dressing!"
He said, "Nocturna Corp. must be a very dangerous place to work."
"Not as much as you might think." She explained, "Some of my best friends are vampires, and I trust them completely. As a matter of fact, I actually never feel safer, than I do when I'm with a vampire."
"You feel completely safe with them?"
"No. Never completely. I have been told that I'm a very cute gal, with a very appetizing neck, and a lot a guys around the place, who'd love to sink their fangs into it. Now while I do think that's all very flattering, I'd still prefer, that when a guy sticks something inside of me, I'd like to still be alive when he pulls it out."
"I see." He said, "Is that why you're having this 'fling' with me?"
"It sure is. All the guys I know are vampires, and I am so fucking horny!"
They reached the motel in less than five minutes. They went to Minerva's room, which was on the ground floor, and shut the blinds.
Minerva told him, "Don't turn on the light. It'll be much more romantic, if we're just silhouettes."
In the dim light that came around the edges of the blinds, they went into each other's arms, and kissed for a while. Then they both stripped to the waist, and went into each other's arms again. They then removed their lower garments, got into the bed and under the covers.
She lay on her back with her legs spread wide apart, while Dave lay on top of her, thrusting into her, while she purred rhythmically.
This isn't love. She thought, We're just two pieces of meat rubbing against each other. He's moving his warm piece of hard salami back and forth, and jacking off inside of me.
He's giving me his meat, so it's time for me to eat.
Then Minerva Denski extended her vampire fangs, put them against David's neck, and chomped them in deep.
Two minutes later, MrDavidK was lying dead on top of her, while still big and hard inside of her.
I've fucked him, killed him and ate him, all at the same time. There's no better way to deal with a guy.
She lay there grinning for about ten minutes, indulging in the pleasure of the situation. Then it was time to leave.
She got out from under Dave, and from under the covers, and turned on the lamp. Then she put her clothes back on, and went over to the desk beside the window, where she'd put her handbag.
She reached in her handbag, and took out a copy of the 48 page "Vampires Handbook" which was published by Nocturna Corp. The booklet was subtitled, "Being a Vampire Doesn't Have To Suck." Under the subtitle was a smiley face with fangs. Under the smiley face a blurb stated, "What every new vampire should know."
She went over to the bed, and placed the booklet between Dave's limp fingers. Then she went back to the desk, took a pen out of her handbag, and wrote on a post-it note.
"Thank your for everything. You can PM me through my Writer's Profile.
Minerva went back over to the bed, and pasted the post-it note to the cover of the Handbook.
Then Miss Minerva Denski leaned over, gave MrDavidK a kiss on the cheek,
She had a smile on her lips and a twinkle in her eye, when she went out the door singing, with a slurred, laughing tone in her voice.
"...And If I was a watch I know I'd be popping my spring"
"And if I was a bell I'd go 'Ding-dong-ding-dong-ding'!"
I am posting this story on January 22, 2008. I've checked the Authors Search function. As of this morning, no one on fictionpress .com is using the pen names "Minerveegirl" or "MrDavidK".