I love and hate you
I miss yet despise your presence
You bring peace of mind and a headache.
It's easier to leave when smoke fills our vision
Smoke from a burning building
A fire we built in our living room.
It started small, this fire of ours
We paid no attention at first
But then it grew, without warning
And we can't stand the smoke.
I've always said I loved you,
But now my feelings have changed
A little bit, sure, but changing still
And now I burst at the seams to tell you truth
I say, "Use your mouth and speak your mind,"
"Verbalize your gratitude and uncertainties,"
"Express your love to those you care for,"
"You were given a mouth for a reason,
Use your courage for a simple complication,"
I whisper to myself, alone.
It's easier to speak to you when you're not here
When I can't see your face
And feel grief by looking in your eyes
Or be seduced by your velvety voice
No, this will I keep in my mind:
Queer notions; secret passions and ploys.
Yes, you will never know
And with that reassurance
The contradiction, like black and white
Doesn't seem so bad anymore