Why no one reads your story?
Think you've got a good story, but no one's reading them? Here's a list of reasons why.
Why won't I even have a look in the first place?
Get yourself a proper title. "Untitled" – generally speaking, the most common title since paper and ink were invented. If you believe you can spend at least some time writing a couple of hundred words and plan to continue it, give your readers some decency and respect to a one or two word title. I repeat it only takes one or two words to kick untitled to mars.
"Full Summary inside" – why do you think the summary box was invented for? The better one perhaps is, "Read the summary on my profile". At least it can share the rent with your other creations.
Here comes my favourite summary of the century. "PLZ R3AD & R3VI3W" – translated back to English as "Please Read and Review". Why? You can now proudly say, I've read and reviewed your story, so stop complaining.
"But, no you haven't. Please, I just want some more reviews. Please. Please!"
"But I have read and reviewed, um the summary I mean. I even had to take the time to book a translator, mind you."
"Reviews Returned" – another classic addition to the summary. How do you return it? You mean that you didn't like the review and had to return it or what (defective product)? When you buy train tickets, you'd always go for return because it's cheaper.
"Reviews, return." You get two reviews for a cheaper price.
I mean if you do return reviews as your policy, you'll do it anyway. No one told you it's necessary to go and shout it out. Sounds like another advertising method to me.
Another one of my favourites are the summary tags. You got to love them.
Warning: MxM, slash, lemon
Wow, that's so much jargon. What does that mean? Let me give it a try.
Mix and Match, (someone picks up a knife) slash, lemon (all the juice spills).
I mean what's the point? I've seen a trend where this so-called slash MxM, FxF business gets more reviews. Does it matter how the story goes? Do you see a book out there with a small foot note on the cover – "Warning: slash inside!"
OR
The author wishes to advice you that this story is rated M for Mature.
It contains:-
Catfights
Spelling and grammar mistakes
Children running away from home
Night scenes
High school themes
I reckon, at this rate, I'll be tagging all those things to my summary just to attract more attention.
Review "Woo! I love this. You're the best. I love slash fics!"
Automated Review Reply "Sorry, you might have been misled. The use of slash and other such words are part of the author's advertisement of his story. They intend in no way to mislead, confuse or inform you in what the story is about. The author takes no responsibility in the tags imposed or the implications of such tags.
These are but a slice of what dangers are out there on your road to reading a good fic.
Feel free to comment/suggest any interesting aspects you have came across with people's stories, especially in relation to the subject of why won't people read my stories.
And next, I will mention some other interesting common mistakes people tend to make. Hope you enjoyed it and stay tuned for the next issue!
Note: in case someone has a say – I do know what the summary tags mean – but I mean they're not necessary.