Sound is so different here
Reaching up so slowly toward the sky
The grass whispers so softly sometimes
It's hard to hear the voice of the wind
Everything else seems so far away here

In my meadow

And yet it's so much clearer now
When clouds cover the sky
It seems like the whole world fades
Colors being washed away into a thousand deep grays
And the blue that sinks into the earth around me
Seems like it consumes all the light left in the world

Funny that such a painful thing is what keeps me alive
If the rains never came, I've never be able to drink
And I'd slowly wither away into nothingness

But eventually something sharp brings be back around
A twinge of thought or feeling comes through
A reminder through my thousand fingers of feeling

Some run deep, reaching far out into the rest of the forest
Where my brothers and sisters live, so far away
I don't know them, but I can feel them
The wind carries the whispers of their leaves
The earth carries the weight of their presence
I try to never forget about them, but it's hard sometimes
They are so far away, their voices so faint

Others end closer, that's where the pain begins
I've always kept them from coming into my meadow
Choking off their roots when they reach in
Only ever reaching out to them where they live
Never letting them reach here, reach my quiet place

My meadow

I always thought that it would poison them here
That they would rot away or wither here
The soil is so dry sometimes, rains infrequent
Or when it does rain, the earth floods
So even the grass seems to bog down and almost drown

I've kept them away for so long
I have forgotten what it was like to have someone else here
Except for her.
I let her glimpse in, I let her feel the earth here
But it was only for short periods, little glimpses
Now she needs to grow in her own way, reaching towards the sun
And the meadow echoes with the memory of her presence

In my meadow

I hear the echoes of her roots, the whispers of her leaves
And the old feeling has returned
The solitary nature of my quiet place has seeped back in
And the old echoes of my soft whispers cut me like an axe

For so long I have cast my voice out upon the wind
Sent it through the grass, letting it drift out
It's how I shared this place of mine,
How I let the forest know I was alive

But now, slowly, as I reach towards the sun again,
I have come to realize that it is because my meadow is empty
That is has become poisoned

And there is now answer upon the wind
And the grass has grown still

I can't tell if it is raining
Or if I have forgotten what it feels like
To taste the water of life

My mouth is dry and my meadow is empty
And I don't know

I don't know what to do

With this meadow

My empty meadow.

9:48pm
01/29/08