Come on, pick up…
He's not going to, you know.
"What, Aaron? What do you want?" Brian's voice comes across choppy and...almost tearful. Probably just the connection.
"What do you mean? I want to make sure you got home alright last night."
"I'm fine. I'm hanging up now."
"No! Just- come on. Talk to me. What's wrong?" It's not as though I don't know, I just don't want to miss anything while apologizing and piss him off more.
"What do you think?" Great. He's going to play this game.
"I think you're angry for several reasons…partially that you think something happened that blatantly didn't." At this point, both Brian and the Tommy in my head sniff. Not because of some moral obligation YOU felt. "Partially because I didn't chase after you when you left."
Apparently this was the wrong thing to say. I prepare to try again, but he interrupts me.
"I'm not a girl. I don't need someone to chase after me. I just want someone to care whether or not I'm present. Maybe someone who can stare at other people without getting an erection, because he only wants to be with me. I won't be second best to a little slut you wish you'd kept."
"I don't want to be with him! If I did, I could." Probably. Maybe.
"Which would be why you fucked him last night?" We keep coming back to this same point, but I didn't get that opportunity. I vaguely wish it had happened, now, just so his anger would be justified. That's the only reason, though.
"I didn't. I've told you this. I was high out of my mind, but I would have remembered if his cock found its way into my ass."
"Don't be so vulgar." I notice these words are only vulgar when they're not referring to an act with him. He's like my mother- sex isn't dirty as long as you don't talk about it?
"Brian, I really think that you should forgive me for getting hard when there was a half naked man in front of me. I don't mean to be short with you, or whatever, but that's just a natural reaction." My phone beeps in such a way that it implies I have another call, and I think this is a good time to let him marinate on what I've said. "I'm gonna let you think on that- if you want to talk further about it, just text me or something. I'll also see you in class. Bye, hon."
The last thing I hear before I press the button is an angry huff and, "are you shitting me? The class we have with that-" I don't get to hear the creative insult he's thought up for poor Tommy. I put the phone to my ear again, and say hello.
"Hey, there, sweetcheeks!" Speak of the devil. God fucking damn it.
"Hey, Tommy… What's up?" There might be a bit of bitterness in my voice, but that could just be from my absurd hangover.
"Nothin', babe. I had a lot of fun at the party, but I had to go deal with Lisa. She was calling to me from the hallway, saying something about she needed a beer? I wandered over and talked to her for a little while, then passed out."
Except for Lisa was making out with Gina still when I left, and I doubt they stopped for a drinking break. There's no point telling him I know he's lying, though- he'll just think up a better, more creative extension of the lie that I can't possibly unravel. I wonder where he really went, and my mind provides me many images of him; passed out on the bathroom floor, puking… fucking some guy in the next room… chasing down Brian and puking on him. Or fighting him. Or fucking him. None of these solutions are positive enough for me to want to believe, so I choose not to think about it.
"Babe? You still there?"
"Yeah, I'm here. My phone's been acting up today. So, why'd you call?" I'm hoping he'll understand the impatient tone I'm providing him with, and be able to decipher it as 'you've utterly fucked up my relationship, seduced me (possibly without realizing it), and left me without a clue as to what happened or what WILL happen. I also have a massive build-up of homework that I didn't do, as I was too busy almost having sex with you. I don't appreciate your lying, I don't appreciate your goddamn tattoo that probably means something else, and I don't appreciate the fact that you're using up minutes on a phone bill I have to pay. My plan doesn't INCLUDE unlimited minutes. Unless you have my service or it's after 9 pm.'
"I was wondering if you'd like to hang out later." Apparently he doesn't catch my subtle undertones.
"That sounds like a bad idea, Tom. Brian's pissed at me as it is."
"Fuck him. He seems like a pain in the ass anyway. Besides, it'd be really cool if you were… free. To do things I don't wanna say over the phone, in case he's got it tapped."
I'm obviously all for me getting laid, but I did have that opportunity last night, didn't I? Strange that I'd just leave like that. Maybe I found someone who gives better head than you? If so, good on me… His voice in my head is a little higher, a little more childish then the man on the phone. The voice in my head makes me want to punch babies, but his words sting me only surface deep. He goes for the cheap shots, the obvious weaknesses. The man on the phone is going to use the source of my weakness, the root of all of my problems right now- him.
Even though I don't like being toyed with, and last night feels like a pre-planned tease to boost his own ego, his suggestive voice makes my breath catch, and convinces me to ask, "Oh yeah? The wire isn't tapped, I'm sure. They have all sorts of people defending my privacy, even now. Why don't you tell me what sorts of things?"
"Hmm… where are you?" What a strange question…
"I'm at my parent's house. I walked home completely drunk, and my dad let me in. They're both at work now."
"Are you lying down?" His voice is rich with want, and I think I finally understand.
"Yeah, I'm on my bed."
"Tell me what you're wearing… I want to picture you."
"Aaron?" a voice calls out, clearly beyond the front door and entering into the house.
"Fuck, Tommy, I've got to go. I'll talk to you later."
He doesn't get a chance to say goodbye.