His bones move beneath his skin

Smooth and heady like coffee

And I fall as surely as I ever did:

My fingertips remember their addiction

And I feel your handprint

Cool and alien

And the light on your face blossoms behind my eyes

Exacerbated by the dusk

I read so much into you

(so much like myself, emotions clear and utterly deniable)

I try to tell the truth,

(I am trying: futility is hard to admit)

I find myself bound up in something worse than lies,

Find myself wholly and hatefully yours

He calls me back

And I forget myself in him

Intoxication/connection

I find myself paralyzed with perhaps

Caught in subjunctive study of the night

So this poem is to say:

I loved you

And I wish it were that simple.