I stand on the edge of the rocks by the cliff with my eyes closed, letting the salty, ocean mist hit my face. I put my hands in the pockets of my jacket. It's still morning, the sun barely rising, and its a little chilly.
I open my eyes and look out to the sea. The sun is reflecting off of it, making a pretty golden glow on the surface of the calm water.
"You seem content" a voice whispers in my ear.
"What are you doing here?" I ask.
"Why child, I am always here," I can hear the smirk in his voice, "I never leave you. No matter how many times you wish I would. No matter how many times you try to get rid of me. No matter how many times you cry yourself to sleep because I'm here. You can't get rid of me and you know it."
I'm silent. I know he's right, he always is. I close my eyes again and try not to cry. I hate that demon shadow in my mind. He's always there, with a cold, uncaring voice, pointing out all of my flaws and mistakes.
He laughs in my ear. He knows that I've admitted defeat. He doesn't say anything else, letting me be for a moment.
The roar of the ocean and the gentle sound of the breeze fill my ears and I'm comforted. Being by the ocean always did make me feel better. That's part of the reason I came here. I needed to get away. I needed to be alone. I needed to find answers.
"Why did you come here?" he ask me. He sounds curious.
"I needed...to get away from life. To hear silence and have nothing to worry about. To stop thinking about everyday troubles and figure out what's really bothering me."
"What troubles you child?"
"Why do you care?" I ask. My voice almost breaking.
"Because, I may be a demon, but I'm your demon. I've been with you for so long that as much as I torment you, I still care about your safety. I still want you to be ok and not thinking the way you do. Yes I know what you think, I hear it and it hurts me. To think about what you wish would happen, that kills me, and I can't die."
That does it for me. I let my tears go. All the anger, sadness, hurt, depression, and hatred comes pouring out. I crouch down on the rock and put my head in my hands. I don't care if anyone sees me. It doesn't matter. I let it out for I don't know how long. It seems like forever.
When I am reduced to hiccups and sniffling I feel a warm hand on my shoulder. I wipe my eyes, I know they will be red by now, and turn to see who it is.
It's my demon, he's in a semi-human form. He's actually very beautiful. Pale skin, crimson eyes, shaggy black hair, and small horns on the top of his head. He's tall and kind of muscular. He could be a model, well if not for his eyes and horns.
"Why did you tell me that?" I ask.
"Because I mean it. I don't know if a demon can love, but I do feel strongly for you child. I know that my feelings probably aren't right but I can't not feel this way."
"For telling me."
"Because, I know it's strange but I feel the same towards you. You torment me but I still want you here. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you," I tell him, leaving out the last part.
"There's something else," he whispers, he knows, he can tell.
"Because…I was thinking about it."
"Why? Why would you want to do that?"
"Because nothing feels right. Things don't make sense to me. There's so many questions that I want to know the answer to but I don't know where to find it."
I hesitate, "Why do bad things always happen to good people? Why can't the people of this world get along and stop the fighting? It shouldn't matter where you're from or what religion you are or what color skin you have, people need to learn to accept everyone as different but at the same time equal. That's what makes us all unique in a way. Why is it that the good die young and the young die tragically? Why do they have to suffer? Why does anyone have to suffer? We are advanced enough that we should be able to stop that. Why cant we?"
He looks at me with concern and...something else in his eyes. "If I could answer your questions I would. But even I can't."
I sigh, "I don't think anyone can."
"You know, you don't think the way most humans do. You are completely different. You care more about others than you do about yourself. You would rather see the rest of the world happy and peaceful before you find your own happiness and peace."
I look up into his crimson eyes, they look warm and comforting. "I know. The human race is a selfish bunch. Caring more for themselves than anyone else. They are the reason we have wars, violence, hatred, destruction and so many other bad things."
He nods his head. "It's been like this since long before you though. I've watched thousands of years of destruction happen because of humans. This planet and its inhabitants were once beautiful and peaceful. The humans came."
I can see the hatred in his eyes. The fires of evil that burn inside him. I remind myself that he is a demon. A shadow of what the world was, still here to have to watch it all. He looks away and so do I. Back to the sea, back to the place where I am at peace.
I don't know how long I looked out onto the ocean but by the time I looked back to my shadow, he was no longer in his human-ish form. He was once again the demonic shadow, lurking in the back of my mind. Waiting for the right moment to come back.
I was okay with that. I was content to have him with me, it was almost a comfort now. I continued to look into the ocean, thinking about all the questions I had and the answers I would never get.
By the time I finally came back to reality it was past noon. I stood up and stretched. Then turned around and walked up the little hill back to the small cabin I was staying in.
My shadow was right behind me as always. I still didn't know the answers to my questions, but maybe I wasn't supposed to. Maybe it was all supposed to be this way.