i miss waiting
(in vain)
for you to fall in love with me.

i'm at the point now
where i know that
you're never going to feel that way,
because i don't even have the guts
to say hi to you.

something about you makes me nervous.
i think it's because you're blond.
i've never liked
a blond girl before.

rationally, i know
it's much more than that,
but making up a
silly reason for it
just seems better for now.

somehow,
it makes me feel safer
than admitting the truth.

(can someone help me
figure out
what that even is?)