Huh? I blinked. Had I heard her correctly? Mr. Mary gave her a doughnut? "Err…that's…"I spluttered, not knowing what to say. Baillie didn't seem to notice.
"He told me I was the best student he had and he wanted to give me a special project." She said happily.
I looked at her in disbelief. Talk about picking favorites. "Wow, after you fell asleep in class?"
Baillie flushed under my intense gaze. "I was reading the textbook!" She said defensively. "Anyway, he was talking about my overall grade in achievements."
"Right." I snorted. Reading the textbook, how stupid did she think I was? "So, where does the doughnut come into play?"
"Well, he's doing a project with kids. He wants to see how long it takes me to cave in to pressure. How long it takes me to eat the donut that is." Baillie explained.
I looked at her suspiciously, that didn't seem like something Mr. Mary would do. If fact, that didn't seem like something any teacher would do. But being the nice person I was, I decided not to burst her bubble. "That's awesome! Congratulations!" I congratulated her, although I had no idea what I was congratulating her for.
"Thanks." Baillie said grinning. I forced out a smile and we walked side by side awkwardly for a few moments.
Finally I was saved by Farina. "So what happened?" She whispered, glancing at Baillie.
I quickly explained Baillie's version. After I was finished I frowned. "Doesn't it sound a bit fishy?" I asked Farina.
"It does." Farina agreed. "Usually teachers aren't like that."
We reached our classroom.
"Hello children." Monkey Butt said coldly, her eyes flashing.
"Hello Ms. Lewiston." The kids chorused.
She glared at them and they shrunk back in fear. "You have been very rude to Dr. Carter." She told them.
"Rude my butt, she's just as horrible." Melanie muttered. We murmured in agreement.
Monkey Butt ignored her and continued, "So for homework, other than math, language arts, and science, you must write her a 1 page long apology letter about how your actions were wrong, how they will never happen again, and why decorum is important."
We all groaned. George looked close to tears. "But I don't have time! I have football and basketball practice. Then mom is taking me to the movies." He cried.
Monkey Butt fixed her cold eye on him and replied, "You should have thought of that when you were rude to Dr. Carter."
"But I didn't say anything." He wailed.
"Ah but your classmates did. Control them next time." Monkey Butt told him. A smile tugged at her lips.
I swear, she is the foulest, evilest human being to ever walk this planet. She's the devil 's reincarnated, she's the –
"Your such a fat face!" Calvin shouted angrily. Monkey Butt turned scarlet. She gnashed her teeth.
My words exactly.
"Principals office." Monkey Butt growled, her hand twitching.
"Gladly." Calvin sniffed, "At least Dr. Carter is a human being. Your just a miserable human BEAN! And you smell like it too!"
We laughed as Monkey Butt began to shake. Stiffly, she walked into the bathroom. Over our pelts of laughter her muffled cries could be heard. "Damn kids damn kids damn kids."
"Ohhhhh Ms. Lewiston cussed!" A few boys shouted. I laughed.
"She's not a human bean! She's a kidney bean!" I exclaimed.
"No a Walnut!" "No she doesn't have a brain, so no nut! Shes an almond!"
We rolled around on the ground gasping for breath. "I…can't…breathe…!" I choked out, holding my stomache.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Ms. Lewiston roared.
Suddenly it became dead silent. The crickets dropped dead.