I visited Xinen the next few days, hoping he would wake up and I could finally let him know I loved him. Each day his eyes remained closed and I worried that he might not ever wake up. There was no way he could die without me letting him know my feelings. We were so close to being together again, he had to hold on.
I noticed flowers from our other friends by his bed one day and was glad they came to see him. Shin was there most of the time and would tell me about his meeting with my friends, happy that Xinen had so many people to care about him. It was true, even if our love never worked out, many people still cared for him and he would have always had a special place in my heart. Love never truly dies after all, it just changes.
As I walked to his room the next day, I smiled to myself, happy that I had the love of my life back, almost. I couldn't wait for the day I would walk into the room and find him sitting there smiling as beautiful as ever. Everyday I hoped would be that day and as I pushed the door, holding my breath in hopes his eyes were open I stopped dead. I peered at the empty bed where his body should have been.
I felt panic rush through me. Where was he? The only thought in my head was the memory of that day his apartment door opened and the face of a stranger greeted me. That day he disappeared from my life was replaying over and over again. I glanced around, noticing the flowers still in the room. I turned quickly and found a nurse heading down the corridor. "Excuse me. Do you know where the patient in this room went?"
She paused and glanced at the room I pointed to. "Oh are you a friend of his?"
"Yes. Do you know where he is?" She was getting on my nerves easily. I just wanted to know where he was and now.
"Oh. You must be so happy that he finally woke up." I stared at her in disbelief. Was this really happening? "He's with some other visitors down at the end of the hall there." She pointed down the long corridor to where there was a somewhat rounded room of windows and benches for patients to relax with visitors.
"Thank you." I turned quickly and headed for where she pointed. My eyes were focused straight ahead, unable to wait to see his face. I could feel a rush inside of me as I got closer and closer. What was I going to say to him? I had to tell him now, but my mind couldn't piece together the right words. My feet kept moving forward and I felt my breathing stop as I stepped into the rounded room. Where was he? I heard the sound of a familiar laugh and turned to see Kazu slapping Itsuki on the back. Miyako and Kumiko were there as well. Even Shin was laughing along with them. Then I saw him. He was smiling so brightly my heart nearly stopped as I was overcome with my love for him. I never thought I could feel this strongly for him, but I did and I wanted him to know.
Shin turned and waved, noticing me standing nearby. "Yuki." The rest of them looked in my direction, including Xinen. He looked surprised as I moved closer.
I stopped, standing across from him, my eyes unable to leave his face. Everyone else fell silent and seemed to disappear altogether. He was the only one there. His eyes were locked with mine and I tried to find something to say, but all I could think of was holding him and I did. It happened in an instant I barely even realized what had happened. He was in my arms. After so long of wanting to embrace him, here I was holding his body to mine, unable to let go. I began to cry and I didn't care. I was happy.
I felt something around my waist and I knew he was holding me. My entire body felt warm and I tightened my embrace. I had to let him know I didn't want to lose him again. He had told me long ago he would always hold on, but I didn't hold him in return and he slipped away. I couldn't let that happen again. I moved my lips close to his ear and whispered. "I'll hold on this time and I promise not to let go."