Discordant notes
So familiar, coming through the stereo
Play me one more time old friend
Remind me again of who I am

Little reminders singing inside my mind
Pouring out of my soul and whispering out my eyes
Pain slips into comfortable melancholy
And stretches out its arms wide
Stretching the lining of my heart till it tears
Its hands sift through my soul carefully
And all that's good slips away like sand

All that's left is thousands of tiny gems
Failures dancing and sparkling with light
Refracting guilt, shame, and hatred
Sharp facets eat into the skin
And tiny cuts well up with sorrow
The hands clench and tighten
And the mistakes bite into me like broken glass

The song's melody rises spiraling high
While shuddering I slip through the cuts in my hands
Into a world filled with those sharpened gems
Brilliant they gleam under a black-light sun
The lies of the world made clear here
Nestled around our souls, they are held tightly
While their facets cut into us every day
And who we are slowly bleeds out into this place

And yet part of us always remains above
I can still remember what the world is supposed to feel like
Only half here, my pitiful bifurcated mind
Bears witness to this place
I see it through a slow, dripping stream of red and melody
Pulsing, the song reverberates here
Drops of blood splash down all around in time with it
Jewels pulse and reflections dance

My eyes shine bright with lies
As the gems shine through them
Half in, half out of this place
I finally hear the song clearly

My melody,
A self-loathing heartbeat.

1:35pm
02/21/08