Chapter 12: Cunthead's Requiem

"Alright guys, it's about time I headed out. It was nice meeting you," Raphael suddenly announced in between a heated debate of why briefs were better than boxers.

"So soon," Joseph questioned.

Nodding his head full of curls, Raphael started slipping on his pair of worn converses.

Everyone wore those now and days.

"My flight leaves at 3. It's already 1. I REALLY should be meeting up with my dad at the airport now."

"Finally, the asshole is leaving," I say behind a sarcastic smirk.

In return, he flipped his hair and batted his eyelashes saying "what a mean thing to say!!" in his mock feminie voice.

As we're laughing, Raphael scooped Joseph up in a bear hug.

How cute was it to see the scrawny Joseph being lifted from his feet by Raphael's muscular build.

How cute?! HOW CUTE!?!!

That shit wasn't cute AT ALL!

I should be the one squeezing Joseph to death!

"Alright, alright! Enough!" I shout, forcing Raphael's octopus grip off of Joseph.

"I know you want to ass fuck Joseph till your flight leaves, but you can't. That's MY responsibility!"

In response, while Joseph was furiously blushing, Raphael seized the moment to pull my arm off and drag me out of the front door.

Before I have time to react, he's already so close to my face and just as I think he's going to kiss me, instead, he whispers something in my ear.

"Joseph isn't the one I wanted to fuck."

And then, like a time I remember before, the heat of his lips were on mine.

Instead of punching him in the gut like I should've, I didn't.

Even when his tongue ran across my bottom lip, I allowed him across with no restrictions.

This would be the last time anyway.

After a moment of kissing, I shuddered as Raphael pulled away; eyes meeting my blue ones. The emotion behind his brown eyes cried thank you, knowing this would the last time he would ever see each other.

"Goodbye Derrick" Raphael rasped out as he turned to leave down the hall.

"Yeah…" I whispered to myself as I was left standing alone… or so I thought.

If continued hadn't have made a coughing noise, letting me know he had seen everything that just happened, I probably would have noticed Joseph standing behind the door on the verge of tears.

"Holy shi—"

"Mr. Riverton, follow me," Mr. Ericson demanded as he turned on his heels and started towards his room.

Silently, surprisingly, I followed. From the look on his face, this definitely wasn't the time to ass off and play.

While sitting in his room, I become somewhat aware that cunthead doesn't have Mr. Potatohead's teethy smile super glued to his face.

In fact, he's actually a human.

"I really don't know where to begin Derrick. One would think, after being here for 9 years, you would learn that this life you're living won't do you any good."

"I've heard that line every fucking day of my life Mr. Ericson. Tell me something worth crying about," I scoff, folding my arms across my chest and turning up my nose.

Who the hell gave him the right to tell me 'the way I'm living won't do me any good'?!

Being gay has little to no affect on the way I live!

Taking a swig of his water, Cunthead sat in the chair he placed in front of the couch on which I resided.

"Listen Derrick, I know how you feel. I-"

"You don't." I quickly cut him off.

"Just listen. Trust me Derrick. When I was your age, I too used to… chase after the Devil's tail."

"Aka you were fucking guys from right to left."

"Language. And not exactly, but close enough. Thinking back to it all, I wish I never did most of the things I did back then."

"Not to push the envelope, but what did you do? That isn't very convincing."

Sighing, Cunthead took off his glasses and rub his tired eyes.

"I'll tell you a story. Listen; don't talk. You're the only person to know about this, you hear?"

I zip my lips, throw the key away, and nod my head.


"I remember as a child growing up in Texas, being a homosexual was never easy. Lucky for me, my mother and father moved to Maine by the time I was 10. Growing up, I always knew I was different from the boys back in Texas. They were all tough, doing rodeos with their dads, while I stayed home with my mother while my dad worked. I just never knew what was wrong with me until I turned 15 and met Chris. Let's just say he exposed me to a whole new world. Before I was even 17 I had already had sex a couple of times and even done a few drugs. Of course my mother knew something was wrong. My dad could care less. Eventually, I got so pulled into everything that it was like I wasn't there anymore. I went through the motions, but I felt empty. So one day, I came home around 4am after disappearing for about a week and no one was there. The house; it was empty. I had nowhere to go, I knew no one, and most of all, I had just lost my family without the simplest goodbye. That was when I was taken in by our local church. Sure it was hard adapting to no more sex and drugs, but my life had gotten so much better."


"So that's why I can only help but to look out for you Derrick. You remind me of myself when I was your age."

I don't say anything in response because I have no idea what the hell I want to say. There are so many words, but they're so jumbled up that I just decided to stay shut.

"You can talk now, you know?" he said after a brief laugh.

"So… you're not going to make me pay for kissing the guy you saw?"

My question sent another wave of laughter through Mr. Ericson.

"No, of course not. Just… be careful Derrick. You're a great kid and I want you to have a healthy life."

"Thanks Mr. Ericson," I say before going back to the room.

"And Derrick?"


"Show up in the lobby at 9am tomorrow. Bless Joseph's soul for always forcing himself to lie for you."

"Sure thing."

After talking with Cunthead, I mean, Mr. Ericson, I guess I could say that I have a newfound respect towards the man.

Did he convince me to stop being gay?


And I think he knows this as well.

Looks like he's no longer eligible of being called cunthead anymore.

End Chapter 12

Hmm… I don't know what to say about this chapter. It has way less humor than my others. I wasn't sober when typing this. I was on drugs. That drug is called music. Seriously, I was paying more attention to singing along to songs while typing this, that I'm not sure what the hell happened. ;D sue me.

Now, Raphael, my LOVE, is gone! You mean people made him leave!! Okay, I'm lying. I can't believe Cunthead's past was so…rainbow filled. That totally explains EVERYTHING! *thinks back to his creepy smiles*…everything…ugh. Okay. Too much talking. Till next time!!!

Review Replies: (why didn't I think of this sooner?)

Okay, so I've decided to start replying to reviews at the end of each chapter. Why? Because I'm so lazy and I can never seem to get to it when I'm reading you guy's LOVELY, EXTRAORDINARY, masturbate able… SUPER reviews! So, to show how much I really do care and love you guys here we go. Haha!~

StripehChekaz: lol. I laugh every time I read your reviews because there's always something about my grammatical errors. I am so sorry to put you through such torture. And it's my entire fault too because I never paid attention in English when I was supposed to. It's a sad story, really. There was this one assignment where we had to label each part of speech or something, and, well, it didn't go so well. Let's just say that. BUT, I wasn't the only one. Haha~ my idiot classmates and I sadly disappoint our English teachers. Oh, and I'll start using dividers lines too. Just for you! =D

Ironic Bonding: And the story loves you too!!! (Also, I secretly love you. Like, Helga's gum statue of Arnold type love. Kill me if you didn't catch my reference. Lmao )

RandomWriting101: Muahahaha!! You changed your username! ;D lol. Totally irrelevant to what I'm supposed to be saying, but…eh, I digress. Your reviews made my face split in half the vertical way. Like, I smiled so big, that it just cracked in half. I loved your reviews. It makes me happy that my lame sense of humor made you laugh. If I could put all of the funny things I've said/done/written in a box, you'd be the first to get them. Haha.

So, thanks again guys, for being such awesome reviewers of my story!

Also, big thanks for those of you who've give me 60 reviews!

(Damn, this was LONG, but fun.)