A/N: I have the tendency towards dramatics during a Serious McSerious-er scene. If you think I took it too above and beyond, please let me know. But if you loved it as is, you can tell me too...

Nathan-Call-Me-Nate is a Fa- Queer

It had to be a coincidence, right? Nathan had just come here on a whim, after all, to allow himself the luxury of expanding his daydreams. Right, Nathan reminded himself, there's no such thing as fate or destiny... or any other of that goofy romantic junk.

"So," Nathan started, "come here often?" Sure, it was corny, but it had always been a crowd-pleaser.

Ju nodded. "I hate pools."

The blunt delivery was filled with such disgust and hatred that Nathan couldn't help but ask, "What? Why?"

The other took a deep breath, as though preparing himself for a lengthy speech. "Pools," he began,"are the root of all evil. ...So... enclosed... So smelly. Just... ew."

Nathan stared at him for a moment before bursting into laughter. "The root of all evil? Is that so?"

Ju narrowed his eyes. "Yes."

He slapped the water as he laughed, trying not to double over and swallow another mouthful of salt water. "Oh, god, you are so funny." Once his laughter subsided, he suggested they go sit in the sand. "You can explain it more."

"It's a long story, you really don't want to hear it."

"Oh, but I do. In fact, I'm dying to hear it."

Ju narrowed his eyes again, "You're making fun of me, aren't you."

"No, not yet. I might after I hear this, though." Nathan backed away a couple of steps, and beckoned for Ju to follow. "Seriously, I want to know." He flashed a smile and started swimming towards the shore, confident that his crush would be following. Sure enough, he heard a second set of splashing noises behind him, getting closer and closer as Ju caught up.

Nathan felt his stomach churn a bit at the thought of getting to know the other man. It wasn't necessarily a bad sensation, but it was likely to make conversation a bit more awkward for him. If there was one thing he hated, it was stilted conversation. All through middle and high school, when he'd been discovering his own sexuality, he'd suddenly find himself unable to be natural around friends he'd had for years. Every time something like that would happen, he'd find himself with one less person to hang out with, or joke with, or even secretly admire. He hadn't missed his own awkward tendencies at all, so he was hoping he could somehow get control of his feelings. He had to hide them for the sake of the possibility of friendship.

They reached the shore quickly, and Nathan led Ju over to the lifeguard tower and yelled for Jess. "Can I borrow a towel?"

She threw him one and winked.

"Girlfriend?" Ju nodded his head in her direction as they sat down on the towel Nathan had just laid out.

"Nah. Why do you ask?"

He shrugged. "Curious. She's kind of cute."

"Whatever. So tell me about the root of all evil?"

Ju smiled and launched into the most random anti-pool tirade Nathan had ever heard. Although Ju was completely serious, Nathan-call-me-Nate couldn't help but laugh. He finished his lengthy speech with, "and that's why I think all pools should be abolished."

"You are too funny, you know that?"

Ju shrugged.

"Okay, so you swim in the ocean. What else do you do?"

"I surf."

Nathan was impressed. "No way, me too. Where's your favorite surf spot?"

"I don't have one."

"Huh? ...Why not?"

"It's not so much about getting a big wave for me. It's more about feeling in tune out there. I feel like... Like I understand what God wants from me..." He trailed off into silence, unable to find words to describe the feeling of being out there, perhaps even hearing God's voice.

"Isn't that what going to church is for?"

"In church I get what God wants from humanity, but being out there in the ocean helps make religion personal. Does that make sense?"

"Kind of..." Truthfully, Nathan couldn't think of anything that made him feel like that, but he supposed it was because he wasn't even sure if there was a god. How could anyone be sure that there was some all-powerful being out there with a plan for every single human being in existence?

They sat in silence for a moment, both absorbing the sheer power of each other's words and watching the passersby. Nathan always really liked people-watching in places like parks or beaches: people were at their absolute best in those situations. He looked over at one such group, a crowd of fathers standing around the grill while the kids kicked a soccer ball around, and the moms huddled together laughing. He wished he could do those sorts of things with his own family.

"Thanks for not looking at me like I'm crazy..." Ju finally uttered, staring at his feet and startling Nathan out of his thoughts. "Jeez, I can't believe I said all that out loud," he muttered.

Nathan rested a hand on Ju's shoulder comfortingly, "You're not crazy. I think everyone needs something or someone that makes them feel important in the universe." He didn't add the thought that he was one of those people who didn't have that something.

There was silence again as they tried to get out of the serious mindset they'd landed themselves in. Ju didn't ask Nathan what his something was when he broke the silence. Instead, he asked about jobs and school--two subjects as far away from emotionally serious as possible.

"I'm in my last year at UCLA. What about you?"

"Same." Ju turned to look at him. "What's your major?"

"Ethnomusicology."

"That sounds... er... really hard."

Finally out of the conversational slump, the two found that apart from surfing and school, they had enough in common to form a friendship. Although Nathan still hadn't revealed that he was gay, he was confident that he'd been completely honest with Ju. Unfortunately, Ju declined Nathan's offer to walk him to his car. But, to be honest, it would have been strange if he'd said yes. The offer was out of courtesy, devoid of ulterior motives--almost.

However, the two decided that they should hang out again and Ju invited Nathan over to his house in the valley for his house's monthly videogame tournament.

"You have a monthly tournament?"

"Yeah! Every month is a different game, though. This month is Fifa '08. You in?"

"Of course! Club teams or national?"

"National. I'll tell you all about it when you get there."

Nathan pulled out his cell phone and handed it to Ju. "Put your number in. I'll call you."

***

Ju's neighborhood was quiet and quaint. His house was at the end of a cul-de-sac, had a white picket fence, and a nice lawn. It did not look like a house where three college guys lived, Nathan admitted to himself. He checked his phone one more time and looked at the text message that Ju had sent with his address and directions. "This is the right place," he muttered to himself as he turned off his motorbike's engine.

"Yo, what are you staring at?" Nathan turned to face the guy who'd said that.

"I'm trying to figure out how three guys have lived here for so long without trashing the place yet..."

The blond stranger laughed. "Yeah, I can see how that would be confusing... You here for the tournament?"

"Yeah. I'm Nate. I'd shake your hand, but..." he eyed the cases of beer in the guy's hands.

The other laughed again. "Alex," he said, "Nice to meet you."

"You too." Nathan opened the gate for themselves and amused himself by walking on the quaint cobblestone walkway to the door.

"Hey. Uh, Nate. Could you hold one of these so I can open the door?"

It wasn't a problem; Nathan obliged and followed him into the house. Once inside, he could hear the cheers and jeers of his fellow tournament competitors.

"Warm-up rounds," Alex explained, "and we're picking teams."

Alex led the way to the living room, where at least 20 people were packed together in front of a big-screen TV. At that moment, one of the few girls was playing Fifa circles around a guy with dreads. "Come on, kid," she yelled, "you can do better than that! You're playing with Brazil!"

Nathan chuckled and scanned the room for Ju. He wasn't there. "Alex, where's the kitchen? I'll stick the beer in the fridge."

"It's through that doorway," he replied, handing the other case to the newcomer. "Careful, though. Ju's probably in there cooking up a storm." Alex noticed the confused look on Nathan's face and added, "He makes the best sweet and sour pork ever! He hates cleaning after these things, so the house made a deal: he'll cook and the rest of us will do all the cleaning after this is over."

"Seems like he's getting the short end to me." Nathan recalled the number of people here.

"Well, we buy most of the food and we do his dishes too." Alex shrugged.

Nathan took the two cases and went to the kitchen. Sure enough, Ju was throwing spices into a really big wok.

Ju muttered to himself in what Nathan was sure was Chinese. He picked up a pair of cooking chopsticks and picked up some pieces of pork, inspecting them carefully before dropping them back in the wok. He reached into a bag filled with pork and batter, and pulled out more pieces, placing them carefully in the center.

Nathan watched, admiring Ju's skill and beauty. He cleared his throat after a few more seconds of staring, startling the shorter man.

"Jeez! You scared the bejeesus out of me."

"I can see that," Nathan snickered. "You're really pro at this, aren't you?"

"Nope, it just comes with growing up in a traditional Chinese family," he dismissed the compliment easily. "Mom, wanted me to be able to feed myself when I left the house."

Nathan was envious: he wished his own mother had at least taught him how to make food other than Top Ramen and scrambled eggs. He shook those thoughts from his mind and remembered the cases of beer. "Um, is there enough room in the fridge for these?"

Ju pointed at the second refrigerator in the corner of the kitchen. It was a little bit smaller, and someone had taped a piece of paper that read, "Drinks," on the door. He went back to cooking, noticing all of a sudden that a few pork bits were starting to burn. Nathan, on the other hand, shoved the cases in the fridge and looked around for something good to drink. He wasn't a big fan of the beer Alex had bought, but perhaps there would be a better alternative. There was. He pulled out a 2 Liter bottle of orange soda out, grabbed a cup from the bag on top of the fridge, and served himself. He offered some to Ju, who refused: he didn't drink anything but water while he was cooking so as not to cloud his palate.

"Okay, well... um... are you going to be done soon?" He suddenly felt awkward again. He knew he should probably go be social, and Alex seemed nice, but part of him really wanted to be alone with Ju like they had been on the beach.

"Yeah, if you want you can wait here. I'll introduce you to everyone..." He stirred the contents of the wok again, concentrating mostly on his cooking.

"Cool. I have to admit, it's kind of fascinating watching you cook."

Ju looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"I don't know any other guys our age who can actually cook."

They were quiet again, and Nathan was left to daydream about how they could be if Ju were gay. Maybe after awhile, Ju would invite him over to have a private dinner date. Would his parents be upset if he were gay? He didn't seem like your typical Jesus-freak, but he was traditional. Maybe his parents were even more into religion than he was, even more anti-gay than he was--he hadn't said anything particularly asshole-like in the time they'd known each other--but he had been at that protest, so he was definitely anti-gay marriage. Was there any way that he could win Ju over? He rolled his eyes as he took a sip of his drink. He was being ridiculous again and he knew it. There was no chance between the two, Nathan had to get it into his thick skull. He knew he needed to stop fantasizing like a little girl and face reality: there was no romantic future with Ju. The most Nathan could hope for was that Ju would be able to accept that Nathan was gay and stay friends.

"You're really quiet today," Ju said, bringing Nathan back to reality.

"I didn't want to distract you too much!" He didn't mean to sound so defensive. Shit, Nathan thought, he's already rubbing off on me. This is bad...

"I'm done now," the other replied. He tilted the wok so that the dirty blond could see and smell the sweet and sour pork. It looked delicious. "Want some? This will be gone two seconds after I put it out..."

"Heck yeah."

After Nathan had stuffed himself with Ju's cooking, they finally joined the rest of the players in the living room. Unfortunately, they had already chosen teams, so the two were left with very few options.

"Basically the teams worth playing with that are left are... Turkey, Japan, China, and Switzerland. Should've gotten here sooner, man," Alex said when he saw Nathan's crestfallen expression.

"China's mine," Ju said immediately.

Everyone chuckled. "We know, you always get China!"

"I'll take Turkey," Nathan decided. "You all saw them in the last World Cup, right?"

"It was luck," the girl from earlier replied. "They can't win unless it's within the last 20 minutes, you'd be better off picking Japan."

"Just you watch, girly," Nathan provoked, "You'll be mopping your tears up with that Argentinian jersey you're wearing when I'm through with you."

"Oh you are so on," she retorted, "Alex, please tell me I get to play this asshole first."

Alex looked at the tournament sheet organized by each player's ranking. "Nope, you're in group B... he's in... oh shit, Nate... You're in the group of death: group C"

"Who else is in the Group of Death," Ju asked.

"Isn't it obvious? You, Russell, Chris, and newbie over here."

The girl laughed, "You should back out right now, Nate!"

After a few more fake insults, the tournament started, everyone eager to play and show off their skills.

Ju and his friends took Fifa seriously: the tournament was run exactly how the World Cup tournament was. Within the group, each team played each other twice and the top two teams advanced to the next round. To everyone's surprise, Nathan's Turkey creamed Russell's and Chris's teams in all of their matches together--at the end of their group phase, Ju and Nathan were the two to advance.

The girl who had challenged his skills before, Chelsea, also advanced and was slated to play Nathan's team next.

"Chelsea, shall we make our match a little more interesting?"

"I don't bet money," she replied, a smile on her face.

"Nah, money's not interesting... I was thinking... Streaking. Loser streaks and sings the national anthem at the top of their lungs."

Everyone stared at Nathan for a moment while he smirked at his opponent. Alex piped up, "Do it, Chels. This is the best bet I've ever heard."

She hesitated for a moment before shaking his hand and agreeing to the terms.

After two rounds of overtime and penalties, Argentina lost to Turkey in a round of sudden death. The only two other girls there, Michelle and Maria, pat Chelsea on the back. The guys, on the other hand, congratulated Nathan on his victory. She was a good sport and didn't complain while she took off her clothes. They followed her out the door and started laughing as she started running in broad daylight.

"O-O SAY CAN YOU SEE? BY THE DAWN'S EARLY LIIIIGHT!"

Alex clung to Nathan for support as he doubled over, laughing so hard he had to clutch his stomach with his free hand. "I can't... believe.... you made my girlfriend actually do it!"

"WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAIL'D AT THE TWILIGHT'S LAST GLEAMING"

"She's your girlfriend?"

"Yeah, she's never done anything like this! Bahaha!"

By this point, a number of people had come out of their houses to see what all the noise was. The mothers clucked their tongues while their sons ogled the naked singing girl.

When she came back, puffing from trying to run as fast as possible, she playfully smacked Nathan's arms to show that there were no hard feelings. Alex, although still plenty amused by the whole scene, lovingly held out the summer dress she had been wearing earlier--which she put on without hesitating.

Now that the whole ordeal was over, the group ambled back over to the TV where the next group of players were about to have a match. Ju made a break for his favorite spot on the couch, and sat down, making sure to stretch out as much as possible so nobody would encroach on his space.

Nathan and Ju didn't have to play for another couple of games so they were able to really enjoy seeing how competitive the other guys got. The losers--including Chelsea--were congregated around the "Drinks" refrigerator, pulling out beers for each other (and a shot of vodka for Chelsea). It was an unwritten rule at this house that while playing a videogame tournament, competitors would consume no alcohol until after they had been eliminated or the tournament ended. Nathan observed this rule without having to be told about it, as he had a competitive streak.

"...I hate having to be quiet about that kind of stuff," Russell was yelling in the kitchen, "I have a fucking right to express my opinion!"

Nathan got curious, excused himself, and went to the kitchen to investigate. Inside, he found Maria and Chris trying to quiet him. They were huddled around Chris's cell phone for some reason.

"Hey... is everything okay in here?" Nathan made sure to proceed cautiously.

"No... I just needed to express my anger about how I'll never be able to get married," Russell proclaimed angrily. "And I hate having to keep quiet about it just because Ju is homophobic." He took another breath, as though he were going to continue, but perhaps upon remembering that Nathan was Ju's friend, he shut his mouth.

"But you do have to respect the fact that Ju lives here and you don't," Chris replied.

Chris had a point, but there was a pertinent piece of information that Nathan felt he needed to divulge: "I know how you feel, man. I heard the Church of Latter-Day Saints suggested that their congregation members move to California so that they could vote for it."

"You're kidding." It took Russell a moment to process this bit of information. "I hate Mormons."

"I just hate how organized religions try to keep us down," Nathan replied.

"Wait... 'us'? Are you gay," Maria asked.

"...Yeah, I am."

"Then... why are you hanging out with Ju," Russell inquired, not quite believing it was possible.

Nathan shrugged. "I don't know... I met him after the rally last week, then I ran into him at the beach the other day and we just clicked."

"Does he know that you play for our team?"

"...No."

They all stared at him for a moment. Chris spoke first, "Oh my god, you're in love with him..."

"Is it that obvious," Nathan half-joked.

"It is now."

***

What the heck?! He's...in love with me? But... how? We've only been friends for a little while! And he knows I'm straight and that I think homosexuality is wrong... What do I do, what do I do?.....

I know what I'll do! I'll pretend that I don't know anything for the rest of today, but as soon as he leaves, I'll cut off all contact with him. Hopefully he'll get the hint and find some other guy to chase... Hold on a second... Am I being too mean? After all, it's not like he's tried to pull a move on me, and he's had some opportunities... There was the beach and earlier in the kitchen? Yeah, he definitely could have tried something... I don't think I want to take the chance of that happening, though. Yeah... I just won't talk to him again after this. Right.

Oh... shiz, I should head back to the living room before they see me.

Remember: just act completely normal for the rest of tonight.

***

"I really don't want him to know... please don't tell him?"

Russell looked at him pointedly. "Really? You're going to hide who you are from him just because he might not be able to handle it? That's just stupid. You should tell him-- No. You need to tell him."

"I'll do what I think is best. I just need you to keep your mouth shut. Can you do that please?"

"Alright. Fine. We won't tell him," Maria answered for him.

"Thank you."

As he walked out of the kitchen, Nathan could hear the whispers about him start.

"Hey! Turkey," Alex called out when Nathan got to the living room, "You're up against USA in two minutes!" Chelsea snuggled up against him, in one of the first public displays of affection Nathan had seen from them. He envied them.

A few hours later, Ju and Nathan got ready to play another game against each other. In the group stage when they'd played each other, they had been perfectly matched. But now, after playing for so long, and seeing other people play, they would see who was truly better. Ju, being the veteran in these tournaments, already had a ritual for those times when he would make it to the final round: he got his Chinese flag from his room and tied it around him like a cape, and he pulled out a stick of his special gum and started chewing. The two shook hands and picked up their controllers. Since this was the final round, the game would last 30 minutes.

They were almost perfectly matched. At first, the two played fervently as though racing each other to the first goal. Nathan scored first, but a few minutes later, Ju took advantage of a moment's distraction and counter-attacked which resulted in a goal. At halftime, they were tied with two goals apiece.

In the second half, they changed tactics. Now, instead of rushing their game, they tried to test each other's weaknesses. Ju learned that Nathan kept his left defense loose; he took advantage and scored. Nathan, on the other hand, found holes in the center of Ju's defense and scored off a play through the middle.

Then, when there was only one minute before the game ended, China took a shot that bounced off of the center bar and Turkey's defense took control of the ball off a bounce. Turkey passed the ball efficiently and quickly up the right side before centering and getting a shot off. They scored just as the final whistle was blown.

Chelsea smiled at Nathan and said, "See? I told you Turkey can't win unless it's two seconds before final whistle!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Chelsea. That was pure talent," Nathan said as Chris and one of Ju's housemates, Diego, brought out the liquor.

Chris was already a little drunk and handed the rest to Ju, who set it all on the coffee table that had been pushed aside to make room for all of the tournament competitors. Now it would serve as the bar, where Michelle immediately started bartending. She fixed herself a White Russian and took a few sips, enjoying the fruits of her labor.

She handed Nathan, Maria, and Chelsea shots. "Sorry, guys... I have to drive home tonight..." He handed his shot to Russell.

"Thanks!"

"No problem. Enjoy," He had other reasons for not drinking that he didn't exactly want to admit to anyone at the moment. To be perfectly frank, Nathan wasn't entirely sure he would be able to control his desire if he happened to get drunk. He already allowed himself too much when it came to Ju. Even fantasizing about the Chinese man was too much when he really thought about it.

Only a few minutes had passed, and already it had turned into a full-blown house party. People that Nathan vaguely recognized walked in the door and greeted whichever house member they knew better. Somebody was setting up speakers by the couch, and Alex was bringing out his bong. Ju roomed with these guys? They didn't seem like they'd get along at all, but they were clearly very good friends.

"I really hate when they do that," Ju muttered as he stood next to Nathan awkwardly.

"Yeah, I couldn't really see you being a smoker, anyway."

"They usually don't bring it out when I'm home, but I'm fairly sure that some of them are already drunk."

Nathan felt someone bump into him--seriously though, what was with everyone always bumping into him! He was 6'2" so he was kind of hard to miss. "Nathan... I just wanted to let you know... I think you're really hot. And if you ever want to, you know... I'd love to take you home with me..."

"Uh... Russell... I think you should lay off the alcohol for the rest of tonight," Nathan said uncomfortably. But Russell wasn't taking a rejection tonight as he flung his arms around Nathan's neck and pressed his body to his.

Ju looked a little disgusted as he tried to pull Russell of his friend.

"No! Stop it, Ju! You have no idea how great of a guy he is. You couldn't possibly understand what he would do for love..." He hugged Nathan tighter.

All of a sudden, Russell's arms were off him. Maria, Michelle, and Chelsea pulled him away, whispering in his ear and giggling madly.

"Wow," was all Nathan could manage to say.

"So what's he talking about...?"

"Nothing, he's just drunk. ...Hey, Ju?"

"What."

"Er..." He sighed, "I'm kinda hungry... wanna go get a pizza or something?"

"Want to heat up a DiGiorno?"

Nathan nodded. They went to the kitchen and saw the three girls mainlining tequila from a bottle they'd hidden from the rest of the party. Ju and Nathan didn't really pay attention to them as they heated up their pizza. Diego joined them after taking a shot with the girls and asked what they were having and if he could have some. He got emotional after a second.

"What's the matter," Nathan asked, peeved that someone had intruded upon his alone time with Ju.

"I'm just... really going to miss everyone here when I leave!"

"Oh come on, Diego. You're leaving in a couple of months..." Ju was already exasperated.

"Are you graduating early or something?"

"No," Diego hiccuped, "I'm studying abroad for the rest of the year in Spain."

"Which reminds me," Ju said distractedly, "We still have to find a new housemate..."

"Interesting..."

"What's interesting," Jun asked.

"Well. It's interesting that I mostly hate my apartment, and I'm on a month-to-month lease..."

Diego stared at Nathan. "Dude! Ju! I have a brilliant idea: why doesn't Nate take my place on the lease?"

Ju didn't answer. He turned the oven light on and checked the pizza: it was almost ready.

"Maybe you guys should talk about it when you're sober," Nathan said, a little hurt by Ju's silence.

"Okay. I'm going to go talk to Alex 'cause he's not drunk yet..." Diego walked out on the promise of pizza.

The two ate in silence with the exception of the girls' laughs and the music from the living room. But when Chelsea clapped her hand over her mouth and doubled over, both boys immediately jumped into crisis mode.

"Ju, you take Chelsea to the bathroom, I'll go tell Alex." But before he could leave, the other two girls also started looking more than a little green. "Uh. Okay, change of plans, you take care of Chelsea, I'll take Michelle and Maria." Together, they got the girls to the bathroom and Ju ran back to the main room to find a bucket, just in case.

In case happened. Ju arrived back at the bathroom in time to find Michelle about to puke on herself and Nathan's pants. "Michelle, hold it for two seconds. We found you a bucket..."

Despite the fact that Nathan was a newcomer, he took the bulk of the responsibility of taking care of the girls. He was confident enough in himself to take control; he saw that Ju was uncomfortable with the situation, and wanted--although he'd never admit it--to impress him by playing the hero.

"Ju... go tell Alex about Chelsea," he murmured. She looked like she was finished puking and was ready to go to bed. Michelle, on the other hand, was still sick, and Maria was passed out against the wall.

Wordlessly, Ju nodded and went to talk to Alex. A few minutes later, they came to help Chelsea to his room. Once she was in bed, Alex came back to apologize to Nathan. "You should have called me right away, man..."

"There wasn't really any time. But don't worry about it," Nathan replied.

"Thanks again." After another moment, he changed the subject, "Diego talked to me about you wanting out of your apartment..."

Nathan looked over at Ju but couldn't read his expression. "Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting the hell out of that place... But you guys should have an official house meeting or something about this."

"For sure, but let me get your number. We've been doing interviews and such..."

The two exchanged numbers, but Nathan couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable about the way Ju was looking at him. He still couldn't read the shorter man's expression, and it was unnerving.

"...Also, I know you want to drive home and all, but I think that after this," he pointed at the girls, "you could use a drink. You're more than welcome to crash on our couch."

"Thanks... I think I will have a shot or two... But, what are we going to do with them?" He looked at Michelle and Maria, both of whom had passed out.

"I say we put them in the bathtub.... Then take pictures," Alex grinned. "Honestly, it doesn't matter to me. I love Chelsea, so I take care of her, but I get really annoyed when girls can't monitor their own buzz."

"Yeah, guys do the same thing, though," Nathan offered.

"But at least when guys do it, we're free to draw shit on them and document it. Those two would get so pissed if we did that to them," he gestured towards the girls.

"Bathtub it is. I'm not a fan of double standards either."

"Cool. I'm going to go check on Chels."

As the two stepped out into the party, they found that no much had really changed: people were still dancing and enjoying themselves. "Take a shot with me?"

"I don't drink, but thanks."

Unfortunately for the rest of the party guests, Nathan's two shots finished off the last bottle of alcohol. After that, people started filing out, little by little until only the house members, the Tub Girls, and Nathan were left.

Nathan and Ju were still sitting on the couch. They'd plugged Nathan's iPod into the speakers and turned the volume fairly low.

He sighed. "This sucks."

Ju turned to Nathan, "What does?"

"This," he gestured to the two of them. "Ju, I'm gay and what's worse? I think I'm in love with you. This is the first time I've ever wished I was a girl... You're just, so pure," the words tumbled out of his mouth, "that I would feel so guilty about making you turn your back on all of that beautiful faith. I wish I had that kind of trust in something..." He trailed off, unable to continue once he saw Ju's widened eyes.

"You can't make me turn my back on my faith," he replied, a note of confidence in its delivery.

"Did you have to say it like that?" Nathan stared at his hands.

"What did you expect, though?! Did you expect me to be happy that some...fa-queer has a girly little crush on me? Did you expect me to jump into your arms and say, 'I feel exactly the same way! Who cares about what God thinks'?"

"Weren't you listening? I'm saying that I don't want that; I get it, you have your faith, that's how you live your life. I get it."

"Then how are you in love with me? I still don't get that."

"I wish I could explain it," Nathan bowed his head, almost in shame. After a second, he raised his head, his disposition completely changed. "You were about to say something different when you called me a 'queer.' Say it."

"No. I don't use that word."

"But that's how you feel about it. Just say it." Make me hate you, he added internally.

"I'm not going to say it," Ju raised his voice.

"You're supposed to be honest! Your religion mandates you to be. I repulse you, I nauseate you; for fuck's sake, just say it! Say it: I'm a fag." Nathan was yelling now, his ears bright red from his anger.

"Why do you want to hear it so badly?!" Ju stood up, his fists curling into balls as the two continued their shouting match, without a care about what the housemates would think.

"BECAUSE I NEED TO HEAR how you really feel about me," his voice dropped to barely above a whisper. "You're disgusted with homosexuality in general, I need to hear how disgusted you are with me."

Ju flopped back down on the couch and lowered his voice as he uttered, "Not as much as I thought I would be."

Nathan couldn't reply, he was too busy fighting the tears that stung at his eyes. Ju may not have been as disgusted as he could have been, but even a little bit was too much for Nathan to really bear. If this was love, he didn't want it. No, there was no 'if,' he corrected himself, he knew. This was love. Who knew it could happen so quickly? After their coincidental meeting at the beach, Nathan hadn't stopped thinking about it until today had come. He knew something precious and beautiful about Ju that most people didn't understand, but Nathan could understand it. Now he could. Nathan was fairly confident that Ju was the someone he needed to feel important in this world.

As Nathan's feelings and hopes came crashing down around him, he noticed that Led Zeppelin's "Since I've Been Loving You" had been playing. He closed his eyes as he heard--no, felt--the buildup to the most perfect lyric he'd heard in such a long time: "Since I've been loving you, I'm about to lose my worried mind." The sounds of the guitar filled the otherwise silent room, echoing the Blues that had taken hold of Nate's mood. It was almost disgusting: the song was too perfect. And then, to his dismay, the music faded out. He opened his eyes and saw Ju, shoulders slumped as though defeated, staring at the ground.

"Are you crashing on the couch?" He didn't look up to meet Nate's eyes.

Nathan cleared his throat, stood up and shook his head. "No," he muttered, "it's probably not a good idea. I'll let myself out."

He walked the short distance to the door, picked his helmet up from by the door, and pulled it open. "Maybe I'll run into you again someday," he knew it was the end of their (very) short-lived friendship. He was certain Ju would erase his number, and make sure that Alex never called about taking Diego's room. To his surprise, Ju followed, perhaps to slam the door against his back once he stepped outside.

Before Nathan or Ju realized what was happening, Nathan had turned and pulled his crush to him. Nathan leaned down and kissed Ju's perfect lips. Hard. Passionately. But still, he struggled.

He pushed Nathan away and yelled, "What the fudge are you thinking, Nate?!"

"I wasn't. I'm sorry," he turned, completely mortified, and rode off on his motorcycle, realizing only after he'd turned onto the freeway that his iPod was still playing at the quaint house in the valley where Ju had tainted the facade by slamming the door shut.

Ju pulled his phone out of his back pocket and scrolled through his contacts until he reached "Nate - cell." He erased it, tossed his phone on the couch, and went to bed.