Three days ago he broke up with his girlfriend. To him, I felt awful. Because even though he had done it, he hurt because he was such a good guy like that. I was unhappy because he was. To my best friend, I was relieved. About time he broke up with her. Three days ago Dexter had finally broken up with Jasey.
Three days ago one of Dexter's best friends asked me out. I had never really talked to him because Jack had been told by his now ex-girlfriend to not talk to me. His ex-girlfriend and I had been really good friends back in junior high. Our junior or senior year of high school she and Jack had gotten together. Apparently he could handle his crazy because they were together for at least a year. Dexter was my best guy friend, and continued to whine at work about how his best friend had been changing ever since he started dating this girl. I mentioned how we use to be friends. He laughed.
"No possible way, she's a crazy." said Dexter. I shrugged then pointed a package at register two.
"You are wanted down there." I laughed. He rolled his eyes then left my register.
Recently I guess Jack and her broke up. It just so happened that his birthday was the same as my mother's, so even though he wasn't particularly friendly when I would hang out with Dexter and his guy friends that included Jack, I still sent him a message. This sprang up a conversation, and then we started talking regularly. Then three days ago he asked me out on a date.
Three days ago when Dexter talked about him wanting to break up with Jasey I timidly encouraged it. I have an addiction to drama. I love crushes, I love when people become couples and I love when couples become just people. When I sat that afternoon after classes in my bed he texted me.
"I need your help."
With those four words it was like old times. We talked all afternoon. Not just about her, and what he thought. But what he wanted after he graduated. I knew he wouldn't come to my college and I'd never ask him to, but I wanted him to. He wants to move to Boston. So did I, but not until after college.
"It's on the coast you know."
As I read what he wrote I sighed. I told him while we still worked together that someday I would move to the coast. Everything is perfect on the coast I use to say. I told him he shouldn't move so far away.
"You could come with me."
I smiled at this. I missed him. The semester was almost done, and break would be coming up. We could hang out then. Three days ago when he mentioned he wanted to break up with her I feel like I pushed him to.
Three days ago he told me I was amazing. This isn't the first time. He's confessed he "liked" me three or four times. And even when he was with another girl he always told me I was his number one. The last time he told me he wanted to be with me was when he went on vacation. He had three girls wanting to be with him, and he told me he was so angry that these girls wanted him but the only he wanted didn't want him back. I told him I was sorry. He was perfect, he really was. But I just wasn't there. He wasn't what I needed then. After I told him he continued to talk to these other girls. One of them was Jasey. When he got back to work he looked sadly to me but continued to pull his phone out and text this girl. He became unpredictable; he started driving to see her. She couldn't drive. She was four years younger than him. It didn't bother me; I knew that if I needed him he'd still be there, this girl was no threat to me. Three days ago he told me I was amazing, but this time it seemed different. Was she more?
Three days ago I told Dexter about Jack. Dexter and Jack had lost contact when Jack had gone off to college but they still were close just because of their past.
"He's just trying to find a new girlfriend. He does this with a lot of girls."
Ouch. I asked him why he thought so highly of one of his best friends. He didn't have anything to say back to it. Before I said anything my best friend called. Ashley laughed into the phone. She didn't go to the same college as me; she actually went to the same one as Jack.
"He will always be in love with you, you know."
This comforted me. I told her about Jasey and him wanting to break up with her. After a few minutes she grew bored of the conversation of Dexter, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. Ashley was upset; she was with a guy she didn't want to be with. He was great, but she only wanted to be friends.
"What should I do?"
I told her: just be honest. She said she couldn't do that; she would just wait for him to do it. I think she didn't want to be alone. She told me she missed me. I told her about Jack. She didn't say anything at first. I could picture her, her mouth slightly open and her brows drawn together. Then a moment later asked what I thought. Three days ago I told her that Dexter was mad about it.
Two days ago I told Dexter I was coming back home for the weekend.
"So are we going to pretend we are friends and hang out?"
I asked him this. His madness slipped away, just like Jack had from my mind. Dexter said of course. It was Thursday, we made plans for Saturday. I told him I was coming home today. He was free today too. I finished packing and asked him if he wanted today or Saturday.
"I'd prefer both."
Two days ago I sent a text to Dexter saying "deal".
Three days ago, so late at night almost making it two days Dexter sent me a text, he had broken up with her. He was upset, really upset. I was on the phone with Ashley at this time again. I told her I need to go so I could call him. I did. He didn't want to talk about it, he asked me to tell him a story. So I did. I could hear clicking as I talked. He was texting. He was texting her. He asked if he could go. I hadn't finished the story. I knew I wasn't important anymore. I said sure and hung up. Three days ago, so late at night almost making it two days ago I felt guilty for being selfish when my friend was hurting.
Two days ago after I got home I texted him letting him know I was in town. He told me he would borrow his mom's truck at five and head over. It was fifteen till; I was helping my dad with moving our new couch back into his truck bed. It was broken, he ranted. They had given us a broken loveseat. Since I had moved out my parents had slowly inched into every room replacing the old furniture with beautiful and comfortable new stuff. They were currently doing the living room. We had two new lamps, a new end table and two new mechanical armchairs that specialized in making sure it was therapeutic to backs. He instructed me to push at the bottom so we could get it out the door. I couldn't help but laugh as we both struggled to get it outside. I was his youngest daughter, and by far the weakest. I made a joke. He grinned at me and heaved it into the truck. He leaned against it.
"Are you sure you don't want to come to dinner with us up there? Mom wants to see you."
I smiled and shook my head. I told him about my already made plans, saying I'd just be here at the house and here when they got back. He nodded and kissed my forehead. I went back into the house after he left, it was five-thirty. Two days ago I unpacked my things, made dinner and watched half a movie before I finally just texted Dexter telling him we could hang out later.
Two days ago I texted Ashley asking her how her play went.
"Boring. I'm at Austin's."
I frowned at my phone. She said she wasn't going to hang out with him at all this weekend, so he'd get a small hint. She didn't want to be alone. I didn't say anything about it, knowing she knew already what I thought about it. Instead I told her Dexter wasn't coming over anymore. I guess I hadn't told her he was in the first place.
"Oh, now you guys can't fall in love."
I rolled my eyes and didn't respond. What she didn't know is that since I had moved away from him we had told each other we loved each other. Dexter texted me telling me he was sorry but in order to use his mom's truck he had to go get his sister who out of town. He still wanted to come over. Two days ago I texted Dexter than he could if he wanted.
Two days ago Dexter came over. I couldn't help but smile when I saw him. Even though I saw him last weekend he looked different now. He didn't seem as sad as I thought he would. But his life stopped when I came back. A few months ago when I came he didn't go to see Jasey. Instead we went to the movies. I knew she didn't like that he did this for me, but I liked that he did. I loved that I was special to him. He let me know it. He never let me leave him without a hug. He hugged perfectly, just the way I always liked it. Two days ago Dexter left hugging perfectly at the end.
Two days ago he came in while I was watching Knocked Up. This movie he had seen twice already, with two different girls. I called him a man-ho which he laughed at. He was, but intentionally. When my parents got home my dad took over the television forcing us to go upstairs to the game room. My mom popped out from the kitchen then, giving me a huge hug. Then she happily spotted Dexter.
"Dexter!"
My mom's favorite guy I ever brought home was him. He had won her over by simply being there for me always. She had won him over by always hugging him like her own when he was over. My mom didn't care that he was with Jasey; she would invite him to family dinners and take interest him. After her ritual hug with him we headed upstairs. The game room had been recently buglared by my sister. She took the DVD player, forcing us to watch some Disney movie on the VCR. I proudly showed him our wide collection of Disney movies. He knew them, once I made him watch Emperor's New Groove. He laughed pushing off his white Converse. Two days ago he chose Hercules.
Two days ago I asked him again what happened with him and Jasey. He didn't want to talk about it again. I sighed. I hated not knowing what went on.
"I'm sure we will get back together."
What? I was surprised by this. He told me he wanted to stay strong with his decision. He had told me they were still talking; this led me to believe she was trying to get him back. I didn't talk for the remainder of the movie. Just listening to him comment about how ripped Hercules was. My phone vibrated four times. I checked it, three Jack and one Ashley. I didn't tell her that Dexter ended up coming over. I texted Ashley, "I can't go out with him." I texted Jack, telling him, "I couldn't go out with him."
"Was it something I did?"
Jack asked me. I looked at Dexter. I felt like I had to choose. And I could never do that to Dexter. Two days ago I realized he would never tell me what happened with Jasey, and I realized he would never know why I turned down Jack.
Two days ago almost one day since it was so late Jack texted me.
"Can we still talk?"
We did. For two hours. I turned on my iTunes playing the "lullabies" playlist, meaning the sad songs about love. I told Jack to tell me a sad story. He told me about his grandpa that died in a car crash. He died to avoid hitting children crossing the street. I lay on top of my covers; my hair was damp from the shower.
"What are you afraid of?"
I lay there, staring at the ceiling. "Being vulnerable", I told him. I was the one who taught Dexter how to hug, I realize. It was one night when we were closing at the grocery store. He hugged me as I left and I told him he was a bad hugger. This was news to him apparently. Girls like to feel fragile and small compared to guys, I told him. I then explained I was one of those girls that liked to raise her arms and hug around the guy's neck, making him hug around my waist. Ever since then he hugged right. Eventually he and I had cool hugs too. Like I would run and he would hug me swirling me around. Or, I would run and as he caught me I would swing my legs around his waist—a hug hold thing. I loved doing these, it seemed so Hollywood. Two days ago almost one day since it was so late I texted Dexter telling him, "I told Jack no."
Two days ago nearly one day ago Ashley finally texted back asking why I couldn't go on a date with Jack. "Just can't," was all I responded with. I wondered if Jack knew anything about Dexter and I. Dexter and I had so much history it seemed unlikely but I knew the only people that really did was Ashley and the girls Dexter dated. I couldn't tell or ask Jack anything about it. It seemed like a precious secret that I kept. All the stuff we had done, gone through and said between Dexter and I was like a secret. Not a bad secret, kept because of shame or insecurity. But kept because it was so rare and special. Early that day Ashley had asked me if I was into Jack. I told her I didn't think so. Two days ago nearly one day ago Ashley replied to my text just asking, "Dexter?"
One day ago so incredibly early in the morning my sister texted me asking if I was awake, I was.
"So are we going to double date?"
Her boyfriend Carl was good friends with Jack. I told her no. She replied, clearly confused, I thought you were kind of excited about him asking you out? I was flattered, I told her, but I just couldn't. She asked if I told Jack. She seemed pleased I was fair to him and told him early. I told her I still felt badly about it. One day ago so incredibly early in the morning my sister texted me back saying "you finally like Dexter back".
a/n: eh, havent felt like updating it lol