I glower at him
only ten lockers away
wondering what would he say
if he knew what I had told her;
what I had said.

Then I realize that she'd react
probably the same knowing what
I had (written & am planning on showing)
told someone else
about her.

The circle continues.
Would she be offended knowing
what I'm thinking deep inside?
She always says she wouldn't,
but somehow I know she would.

This vicious cycle won't stop; I can't
make these thoughts go away, knowing
how much I
hate
everything and everyone around me.

I hate myself, I hate my
friends, I hate my boyfriend,
I hate my life, I hate food, I
hate everything.

The only thing I (love) is
the one thing that I hate the most
but I'm addicted to it
and I can't stop,
hard as I try.

I try to be happy and push these
thoughts aside but I can't
keep up this fake giddiness for
long. I crash. I can't make it
last. I hate this.