A/N: Without a doubt the fluffiest fic I've ever written. I'm sort of just trying something new, I guess. Hope you enjoy XD As always, feedback LOVE

"Exasperation Never Met My Tongue: Chapter 1"

"Hey, new boy."

New Boy blushed. I smirked. New Boy fidgeted in his shiny brown shoes and ruffled red tie. I smirked again.

"So."

He looked me in the eye. A shy glance and flutter of long, dusky eyelashes, brilliantly highlighting the sweet caramel of his eyes. He bit his lip.

"Are you gonna tell me your name, or am I going to have to force it out of you? Or I could continue to call you New Boy all year, would you prefer that?"

The red that had settled on the apples of his cheeks flushed darker. "It's A-Alex. Alex Curley."

"A-Alex, huh? Rather odd, but I suppose it was your parents choice, hmm?"

"Cameron!"

I cocked my head. It was Spencer, with that irksomely goody two-shoes expression set firm in his jaw. This was his "Cameron's-childish-behavior-is-severely-disappointing-and-so-now-I-must-make-this-face-that-is-supposed-to-be-intimidating-but-it-actually-just-makes-me-look-like-a-constipated-idiot" face. Oh dear. I'm nearly shaking in my stockings.

Spencer came forward, his blue eyes narrowing in my direction. "Cameron, why are you pestering the new boy? Alex, I'm sorry if he's bothering you. I'm Spencer, if you don't remember from Registration. We're roommates." Spencer flung an arm over Alex's shoulder, which Alex's fleeting glance caught nervously before he returned his gaze to its comfortable place admiring the rotten moss between the cobblestone.

"Dear Spencer, I'm am not 'pestering' him! How dare you make such a ridiculous accusation. I was simply welcoming him to the glory that is Merle Walton!" I spread my arms wide, emphasizing the cobwebs that took residence above every arch and doorway, the frigid weather of the corridors, and of course, the ever-so-lovely stone goblins on the rooftop. Merle Walton. Such a glorious institute.

Alex bit his bottom lip, an endearingly innocent gesture which brought a smile to my lips, a true, genuine smile, not my standard mischief-brewing lip quirk. His baby blue eyes flitted in every direction, and his hands continuously twisted unto themselves.

Spencer's eyes simply rolled towards the heavens, which I imitated. He punched my arm.

"Alex, come on, I'll show you where our room is…" Spencer managed one last scornful glare in my direction, before taking Alex by the hand and dragging his dare I say it – delicious – little body away from me. I pouted. That Spencer would get his comeuppance. Just you watch.