Her name was Evelyn and she was beautiful, but in a sort of understated fashion, which just made her more beautiful. She was the type of girl who was very easily passed over without much thought. But, man, once she smiled (I risk sounding like a dopey romantic but…) she quite literally lit up a room.
It happened the first day that I came into this place, looking for a cup of coffee on my way to work. I walked up to the counter, glanced at this strange girl for a second and then moved my gaze to the menu board. It was so easy back then to look past her. There was nothing extraordinary about her appearance. She was average height, with shoulder length mousy brown hair and hazel, green/brown eyes.
But when I rattled off my order and finally looked her in the eyes… She did this amazing thing. She smiled.
I'm risking sounding like a romantic again. If my buddies heard some of the things that I think about this girl, I would never hear the end of it. But when she smiled, everything changed. It was love at first smile. Corny, I know.
Ever since that first day, I have come in on my way to work every day in the hopes of seeing her again, every time I tell myself that today will be different. Today I will make my move. I'm a man, not some pansy.
Thus, that was exactly what I told myself as I walked into Bean There today, because this weekend is Valentine's Day, and I fully intended to ask her to be my valentine.
But of course, she must already have a Valentine. Anyone in their right mind would fall madly in love with her smile like I did and have more courage than I have and would have actually made a move on her. But it's worth a shot. You only live once.
Hopefully I won't chicken again. Unfortunately, I probably will. Then again, that really is not the best out look on it. I'm probably just psyching myself out.
Today has to be different though. You only live once. Live in the moment. Carpe diem. Seize the day. That does seem to be what everyone is always preaching but never seeming to follow through with. Well I will be different. I will seize the day.
It's just that she is so different compared to all the other girls that I used to go after. I don't date those types of girls anymore however. Ever since I've seen the light or the smile (Bad joke, I know…).
She's out of my league. She probably dates extremely smart guys who can recite Shakespeare from memory or something absurd like that. My good looks won't help me here. If anything they are probably working against me this time because she probably thinks I'm some shallow frat boy who only thinks about boobs, beer, and the next soccer game. Which would be completely understandable because that was exactly who I used to be. But like I said, I've seen the light. I've changed. I've actually started applying myself in my classes now. Universal gasp, I know, frat boy gone to the good side.
But she doesn't know anything about me apart from my coffee order and what she sees every day at the register. I know that's my fault. If only I could get the courage to talk to her past the register. I am such a wimp. If this was something one of my friends was doing instead of what I'm doing, I would've teased them mercilessly.
Thus today must be different. Today will be different. I will ask her to be my Valentine even if I get shot down in the process, which sadly will probably be the case. And that was the neurotic state of mind I had when I entered my local Bean There coffee shop.
When I opened the door, the overhead bell signaled my entrance. Well so much for the possibility of a surprise attack…
I walked up slowly in order to seem cool and collected. This was not the actual case. I was actually flipping out mentally. Not only was I flipping out about Evelyn but I was going to be late for work. The things I do in the name of love.
When I reached the counter I smiled, genuinely. This was not a hard task considering who was before me. She always looked at her hands when I smile. Am I that repulsing? I didn't get it, before her I was sure that I could get any girl I wanted. Now I'm not so sure. Back in the old days I wouldn't have thought twice about asking a girl out, but everything has changed since I met Evelyn. I seem to have lost my mojo.
And then she did something that I didn't expect. It gave me hope. Amazing that something so simple could give me hope but it did. She blushed. Maybe she always looked at her hands because she didn't know how to react around me. Who could blame her though, in the face of such beauty? Ugh sometimes that conceited air just shows up. I really need to be careful that my brothers at the frat house don't rub off on me as much as they do.
"Hello, Terrance, what brings you to our Bean There establishment today?" She smiled. Oh gawd, I think I've just died and seen an angel. Heh that would be a good pick up line…
Now time to turn on the charm and hope for the best. "Oh you know, looking for my afternoon jolt of caffeine and maybe one of those lovely world famous cookies." And then I winked. Corny, I know, but it's been known to work and I think it might have actually worked this time also.
"Heh, well will you be having your usual? The cookies of the day are the good old fashioned favorite, snicker doodles." Yes, of course they are. It didn't take me long to figure out that those were the only cookies she could bake and seeing as how she's the only one manning the café today, of course they were snicker doodles. On the bright side, she makes the most fantastic snicker doodles I've ever tasted. I am so not kidding. She pulls off the concept of "stick to what you know" amazingly.
"Perfect. Those are my favorite cookies." I smiled as wide as possible without looking like a complete moron. My face was beginning to hurt, but it was so worth it.
"Alright that will be three dollars even. Here are your cookies and your drink will be ready soon." I guess my cheek splitting smile was working, because she smiled warmly at me. Then again she probably smiled for every customer.
I went over to wait in my corner. It was the perfect corner, I could see everything behind the counter without being too close and invading anyone's personal space. At the same time I was also close enough that if I really wanted to I could easily talk to Evelyn. Not that I have ever gotten the courage to talk to her past the register before. There's always a first for everything though.
I enjoyed watching her make the drinks, her slim, deft hands creating a really fantastic latte. She must think I'm really weird about watching her make drinks. But I'd love to know how to make lattes. I'd never have to pay two dollars for my drinks again. I'd miss seeing Evelyn every day though. I could work here maybe… There's an idea…
Anyway, it was time to make my move. I took a deep breath. "So what are your plans for this weekend?"
Her reaction was classic. It took all my will power not to laugh out loud. Instead I tried valiantly to keep my cool and smiled patiently. But seriously she looked like a gaping fish. She stopped everything she was doing to stare at me with her mouth wide open. It was hilarious. She looked cute though. It was obvious that I caught her off guard and made her nervous.
"Oh nothing really. Work, maybe rent a movie. Super exciting stuff..."
What? Nothing? "But of course you must have a sweetheart." She must. I was so sure she would that I didn't plan past this.
She looked as confused as I felt, so I continued, "Well because of Valentines day this weekend. You must have a sweetheart to give you roses and chocolate and go on a romantic night on the town."
She laughed. I didn't see what was so funny. "No, no. I do not have a sweetheart."
I'll admit I was confused. Not only did she not have a boyfriend or even a valentine, but she was actually laughing at the idea. For a moment the idea of her possibly being a nun crossed my mind.
Well here's my chance. I could just ask her now. She doesn't have much reason to shoot me down now. She doesn't have a boy. Unless she doesn't like me, then she'd have due reason to shoot me down. Or she really is a nun. Don't nuns usually wear weird habits or whatever? Can nuns leave the convent? Why am I so afraid of being shot down? I only have to lose are my pride and perfect record of never being shot down. People get rejected, it happens. I could always get shot down and keep trying through flattery and all. I could convince her otherwise or try to.
I don't think I could handle the humiliation of being shot down. What if she laughed at me? Like she did to my inquiry of whether or not she has a sweetheart.
I could not believe that I didn't prepare myself for the idea that she might not have a boyfriend. It just seemed so obvious that someone would have snatched her up by now. I couldn't believe that I had just assumed something like that. What am I to do now? I felt like an idiot. I didn't know what to do. I didn't have the time to psyche myself up to ask if she would go on a date with me. If it was some other girl that would be different but she's different. She's out of my league. Way out of it.
"Here's your drink. What're your plans for this weekend?"
What? She's talking to me. What do I do? I didn't really hear what she said. I think she might have mentioned something about the weekend. Maybe she asked me what I myself was doing this weekend... Here's my chance to ask her out. I can do it! "Oh. I don't know. I might play soccer with some buddies." No I can't, I'm such a chicken. This is just so very disconcerting.
"Oh cool. Well Happy Valentine's Day. Thanks for reminding me." She smiled again.
I couldn't help but smile back. Her smile was infectious. "Happy Valentine's to you too. Maybe you'll find a sweetheart. You never know, maybe there's a boy in love with you right now that cannot get up the courage to ask to be your valentine."
Me! Me! I wish I had the courage to ask to be your valentine! Oh how perfect that would be.
She looked doubtful about what I said; like the idea that someone could really truly like her was like speaking pure insanity. I didn't understand how she could think something like that. She's so amazing.
And yet there was also a glimpse of hopefulness in her eyes. She gave me a small smile and wistfully said, "If only."
I smiled back. I couldn't help but smile. She's not a nun in disguise at least. There's hope.
But being the chicken that I am I turned around and headed for the door. I am such a loser. What happened to the old me? What happened to the confident side of me that was so sure that I could always get the girl?
She happened. She's just so different that I cannot act like the old conceited, self assured Terrance from before. I shouldn't be so surprised that things are different this time around. The type of girl is different, thus the way to go after the girl should obviously be different.
Sometimes I wish she wasn't so different. Then it wouldn't be so extremely hard to ask her out. But that would completely defeat the purpose. The whole reason why I like her so much is because she is so different.
Just before I opened the door, I turned around, mouth open, poised to ask her to go on a date with me. But something stopped me. She was staring at her hands again. She looked so lost and confused.
I realized then that I couldn't ask her out this way. I couldn't ask her out by yelling across a café, and I couldn't go back there because I was already late for work. She deserves better than that. Tomorrow I will do it properly. Tomorrow. With that thought in mind, I walked out the door, so convinced that tomorrow would be different.
Author's Note:
Well, that's it. I'm sorry if you wish for it to be longer, but personally I feel that if I was to make the story like every other story out there then it would lose it's uniqueness and the entire theme I was going for. I do however plan on writing more short stories centered around the Bean There cafe theme, so you will probably see the characters again, in other short stories. I have been told by a friend that Terrance's side of the story sounds a bit neurotic. I'd really appreciate some input on that especially. Personally I like his inner battle, but if it's excessive tell me. I'll maybe try and put a big red pen to it and try and cut down the neuroticism. Now I'm sounding neurotic. I really love the story. I hope that other people love it too.
I would like to give a special thanks to the three people who reviewed so far: Mar871, Lemonz xx, and Bazooka Joy
And to my friends Alyssa, Matt, and Kt, because they've always given me support.
Wow I sound like some person giving a speech after having won an Oscar. I'm so done now.
Thanks again for reading.