I only saw you for a moment but a moment was all that was needed. In that moment you were there and you were mine. In that moment you were everything thing I'd ever known, everything I'd want to know and everything in the world to me. I don't even know if you saw me. It wasn't some horrible cliche where we met eyes and then lost each other in the crush of a peak hour train station, it was just one of the little moments that people have everyday which dictate who we are and what we know, that dictate how we treat people and how we meet new people. It was one of the important, insignificant moments which I was stuck in for only a few seconds and for all the time in the world.
The time when our eyes didn't meet ran like liquid over skin; cool and sweet but fleeting. All we did was walk past each other. We didn't brush shoulders and you didn't knock me over in an uncharacteristic bout of clumsiness. We didn't lock eyes and you didn't even glance at me. You won't ever know that you are one moment in my life, one fleeting memory in a life full of strangers that I know better than anyone but will never know as well as their next door neighbour. I don't know your last name, or even your first name. I don't know your favourite colour or what you eat for breakfast but I do know other things.
I know that you're scared you're running towards something you never wanted. That was why you were walking so slow, your brand new, highly polished briefcase clutched in your sweaty hands. I know that you're afraid that you've strayed too far from everything you believe in. That was why you have the same haircut you got five years ago when you were a teenager being rebellious. You still haven't made an effort to buy gel that will control your wild curls. I know that you're uncomfortable in the world you move in. That was why you side-stepped me slightly, avoiding my eye.
I guess the profound honesty of a moment like that is what really gets me. You weren't lying to me like others, you weren't pretending to be someone you're not, you were just yourself. It takes a lot to walk like a liar when you think no one is watching. Everyone lets down their guard when they think people can't see them. I guess you thought there was safety in a a crowd. I guess you thought that, surrounded by people who belong in that world, nobody would see you not belonging. What you didn't look at though was the way the man beside you was frowning and checking his phone, worried about his wife and kids on holidays in the Bahamas. What you didn't see was the woman with smudged make-up trailing down her cheeks, a bruised ego nestled, shadowy in her eyes and broken dreams dripping from her sad, slow movements.
I found you awkwardly irresistible with your long, unsure gait and your shy, quiet face. I found you undeniably beautiful with your dark curls and conflicted dark blue eyes. I couldn't help but glance at your back as you moved with the swarm and I noted your slightly hunched shoulders hiding everything you could be and everything you'd rather be.
I saw you.