"How do you get lip-gloss off?"-Andy

"Um...Don't put it on in the first place."-6th grade math teacher


"Mike, I'm scared!"-Steve,

"Me, too, Steve. Hold my hand!"-Dad

(Note-They were just joking around but it was still as funny as shit)


-in a sing-songy voice- "Dan has no penis!"-Andrew

-cough-"Um...that's interesting, Andrew."-Me,

-walks up to us-"You guys talking about me?"-Dan

"Don't think so highly of yourself, Dan. You're not that special."-Me


"What are some reasons a globe is better than a map or a map is better than a globe?"-History Teacher

(Note-New, cooler, history teacher. Not the one mentioned in previous chapters)

"Greenland's too big on the map. It's not right."-Random Student who's name I can't remember

sarcastically "Oh yeah! Greenland shouldn't be too big. It might take us over. Create it's own super-continent!"-History Teacher


"What's another reason globes are better than maps, vise versa?"-History Teacher

"Circles are better than rectangles."-Me

"Well, DUH! Rectangles are just as dumb as a Greenland that looks too big."-History Teacher


"I love being the leader of this group."-Dan

"And I love being second in command."-Andrew

"You're not second in command. She is."-Dan -points to me-


"But she's always the one following me around."-Andrew

"Hey! That's only...95 percent true."-Me

"Besides, she's only following you around when she's behind you and you're in front of her. And that actually kinda makes sense. I gotta remember that."-Dan

"That's amazing philosophy, Dan. You should become a therapist."-Me


(an inflatable globe was thrown at Arden and Ben attacks her for it. She fight's back but Ben get's the globe. He holds it, tight)

"Well at least now I know what to get Ben for Christmas. Arden, I didn't realize you were so deprived."-History Teacher


(Andrew read the words written on the side of a pen)

"Did you just say 'Home of the Surfers and Sex?'"-Me

"Haha! Burn!"-Dan

"No, I'm serious. I thought that's what he said!"-Me

"I said 'Home of the Eagles-Soar for Success'"-Andrew

"Oh...that's not at interesting as mine."-Me


"Yeah, but what I don't get is how he could follow those kids around when he can't even move."-Dani

"He can do whatever he wants. He's the Quaker Oats Man!"-History Teacher


Nate picks up my ipod and starts flipping through the songs

"Um, what are you doing?"-Me

"Helping you."-Nate


"Here, listen to Queen. You're welcome."-Nate hands back my ipod

sarcastically "Thank you so much. I am forever in your debt."-Me

"That's the way it works."-Nate


"Where's your bestest buddy, Ben?"-Me

"Yeah, Ben."-Alli

"Right here."-Ben points to Korkie

"No, the other one."-Me

"Oh, he's still eating."-Ben

"Oh I see how it is! There's another man!"-Korkie storms off

"No, Korkie, that's not like that!"-Ben runs after him

"They're gonna be gay together one day."-Alli

Note-Ben and Korkie are notoriously known for being the gayest 'in-the-closet' couple ever, even if they were just joking around.

11. (Stupid Moments)

Curtis put an ICE CREAM SANDWICH in his pocket. Idiot. Of course it's gonna melt!...and it did.

12. (Stupid Moments)

I leaned against a door and fell through into the hall. Not one of my proudest (or smartest) moments.